Touch Talk Transform, LLC

01/25/2026

"You cannot breathe your way out of patriarchy. You cannot cold plunge your way out of structural oppression. You cannot meditate, journal, or yoga your way out of conditions that were designed to dysregulate you.

This is not to say that nervous system regulation tools aren't valuable. They are. I use them. I teach them. I believe in the body's capacity to settle, to find ground, to return to itself.

But when regulation tools are offered as the solution to chronic activation without naming the cause of that activation, they become a form of gaslighting. They locate the problem in your body rather than in the conditions your body is responding to.

The message becomes: if you're still anxious, you haven't tried hard enough. If you're still activated, you haven't found the right technique. If you're still struggling, the failure is yours.

But what if your nervous system isn't broken? What if it's accurate?

What if your chronic activation is a correct response to living in a world where your body has never been fully safe? Where your rights can be legislated away? Where your value has been tied to your appearance, your compliance, your ability to serve? Where violence against women is endemic and normalized. Where the mental load is invisible and unpaid and never ending?

You're not dysregulated because you're doing something wrong. You're dysregulated because your body is reading the environment correctly.

This is the problem with nervous system work that doesn't include political analysis. It pathologizes accurate perception. It tells you to calm down when calm would actually be a form of denial. It trains you to regulate your way into tolerating conditions that should not be tolerated.

What if regulation isn't always the goal?

What if sometimes the goal is testimony?

What if your body's activation is not a problem to be solved but a truth to be witnessed? What if the shaking, the racing heart, the inability to settle is your body saying: this is not okay. This was never okay.

And I refuse to pretend it is.

There's a reason oppressed peoples have always used the body as a site of protest. The body that refuses to be calm is a body that refuses to comply. The body that stays activated is a body that is telling the truth about what it has survived.

I'm not saying don't regulate. I'm saying regulate with your eyes open. Know what you're regulating for. Notice if your regulation practice is helping you show up more fully for your life, or if it's helping you tolerate conditions you'd be better off changing or leaving.

There's a difference between settling your nervous system so you can be present and settling your nervous system so you can continue to be extracted from.

One is healing. The other is sophisticated dissociation.

Your body knows things. It knows what's safe and what isn't. It knows what's sustainable and what's depleting. It knows when you're in the wrong relationship, the wrong job, the wrong room.

The question is not how do I make my body stop reacting. The question is what is my body trying to tell me that I haven't been willing to hear.

Sometimes the most radical thing you can do is not calm down. Sometimes the most radical thing is to let your body speak. To let it be a witness. To refuse to regulate yourself into compliance with conditions that are slowly killing you.

Although you cannot breathe your way out of patriarchy, you can listen to the body that has been registering its impact all along."
—Ailey Jolie

Artwork by instagram.com/haisoohaisoohaisoo

01/23/2026

Your worth has never been the problem.
Only the environment has changed.

The same water is valued differently,
not because it becomes better,
but because the place changes how it is seen.

People do the same to themselves.
They shrink in spaces that cannot recognize them,
and begin to shine when they find where they belong.

If you feel invisible, unappreciated, or small,
do not assume you are lacking.
You may simply be standing in the wrong room.

Change the place.
Let your value be seen.🌿

01/21/2026

Fyi

Wellness and nervous system regulation can absolutely be fancy— biohacking gadgets like vagal nerve stimulators, peptides, supplements. And hey, I love them too; I’ve seen them work wonders for people chasing peak performance. But the truth is, I recommend these free nervous system regulators to my telehealth patients just as often—like solid sleep routines, gentle walks in nature, or even breathing through a tough day without spiraling.   
   
Those aren’t glamorous, but they’re essential game-changers for keeping your nervous system regulated and calm. Sometimes, chasing the perfect protocol or the next thing to buy or consume or try means missing out on just being consistent with the simple stuff that’s already right there. Consistency is the ultimate biohack.   
                  
                  

01/17/2026

New Research Shows Self‑Silencing Is Linked to Serious Illness in Women

Emerging scientific research has shone a powerful light on a behavioural pattern many women know all too well, self‑silencing. This is the tendency to suppress emotions, avoid conflict, and put others’ needs before your own in order to keep peace or preserve relationships. While it may feel like politeness or strength, new studies suggest this silent habit may be making women sick in profound ways.

Researchers have found that when women continually hold back their true thoughts and feelings, whether at home, at work, or in relationships, it doesn’t just take an emotional toll. It may also impact physical health. One notable study of midlife women found that higher levels of self‑silencing were directly linked to signs of carotid plaque, a marker for cardiovascular disease and increased risk of heart attack, even when common risk factors like diet, exercise, and depression were accounted for. This suggests that suppressing emotions can influence real biological processes.

And it doesn’t stop there. A growing body of evidence connects self‑silencing and emotional repression with higher rates of anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, autoimmune symptoms, and other chronic conditions in women, showing that the mind and body are deeply linked.

Many scientists and psychologists believe cultural pressures that reward women for being agreeable and selfless may unintentionally encourage this pattern, with potentially serious consequences for long‑term health. That’s why experts are calling for greater awareness, supportive relationships where women can express themselves freely, and health strategies that address not just the body, but the emotional and social factors that shape wellbeing.

01/16/2026

We've always known that sleep, movement, and nutrition matter for longevity—but a brand new study in The Lancet just quantified exactly how little it takes when you address them together.

The study followed nearly 60,000 adults and found something remarkable: combining just 5 extra minutes of sleep, 2 minutes of moderate physical activity, and a small dietary improvement (like adding half a serving of vegetables) per day was associated with gaining one additional year of lifespan.

When researchers looked at improving these behaviors individually, sleep alone required 25 minutes more per day to achieve the same one-year gain. Physical activity alone needed 2.3 minutes. And diet alone? It couldn't produce a statistically significant benefit on its own.

The secret is synergy. These behaviors amplify each other through interconnected physiological pathways. Sleep affects appetite regulation and energy for movement. Movement improves sleep quality. And nutrition supports both.

This is proof that you don't need a complete lifestyle overhaul to extend your life. Small, sustainable changes across multiple pillars of health create compounding benefits that isolated interventions simply can't match.

What's one small improvement you can make in each area today?

01/09/2026

01/09/2026

Whether your glass feels half full or half empty, remember it’s refillable

Image: https://www.instagram.com/lejatio

12/13/2025

The Grief You Feel for People Who Are Still Alive.

No one prepares you for the grief
that comes from watching someone you love
become someone you can’t reach anymore.

The grief for the parent who’s still breathing
but emotionally gone.
The grief for the friend you outgrew
while they stayed frozen in the past.
The grief for the partner
who sits beside you
but hasn’t met you in months.
The grief for the childhood version of yourself
you’ll never get back.

This is a grief without funerals.
A grief without casseroles, condolences, rituals.
A grief with nowhere to put the flowers.

Psychology calls this ambiguous loss—
but the soul knows it as heartbreak
with no closure.

You’re mourning connections
that technically still exist
but no longer know how to hold you.

You’re mourning conversations
you’ll never get to have.
Apologies you’ll never hear.
A version of them that lives only in memory
but refuses to resurrect in reality.

The world tells you to get over it
because “they’re still here.”
But you know better:

Presence is not the same as availability.
Existing is not the same as relating.
Breathing is not the same as belonging.

And here’s the unexpected freedom:

When you finally admit
that the relationship you miss
no longer exists…

You stop waiting for resurrection
and start building a life
around what actually is.

You cannot lose what was never willing to stay.
But you can reclaim the parts of yourself
you kept on pause
waiting for their return.

Self

12/08/2025

Your nervous system thrives or suffers depending on your people

Your nervous system as a delicate orchestra, constantly responding to the world around you. New research reveals something both simple and profound: the single best thing for your nervous system is connection with another person, and the single worst thing is also connection with another person. In other words, the people you choose to surround yourself with can either nourish your mind and body or drain and destabilise them.

Positive social interactions, supportive friends, compassionate family, or even a kind stranger—can calm the nervous system, reduce stress, and boost overall health. Your heart rate, stress hormones, and even immune response improve when you feel safe and seen in the presence of others. In contrast, toxic relationships, constant criticism, or emotionally draining connections can trigger stress responses, increase anxiety, and even contribute to chronic health problems over time.

This research is a powerful reminder that our wellbeing is deeply social. We cannot underestimate the influence of the people we allow into our lives. Every conversation, every interaction, every shared moment shapes not only our mental state but also our physical health. Choosing wisely who you spend time with is not just about happiness, it’s about survival, resilience, and thriving.

Think of it as curating your nervous system like a garden. Surround yourself with those who nurture and uplift, and your nervous system will flourish. Remove or limit those who bring chaos or harm, and you protect your peace, focus, and long-term health. The connections we keep are not trivial—they are the architects of our emotional and physical wellbeing.

Imagine a world where every relationship is intentional, where the people around you actively contribute to your growth, calm, and vitality. Choosing your people wisely is one of the most profound acts of self-care you can practice.

11/28/2025

People think healing is a straight path…
but in reality, it’s a battle happening inside you every single day.

✨ Your inner child is scared.
All they ever wanted was safety, love, and reassurance.
They still flinch at old wounds.
They still crave protection.

✨ Your inner teenager is angry.
They remember every betrayal, every injustice, every moment they weren’t heard.
They want answers.
They want closure.
They want the world to know what hurt them.

✨ Your adult self is exhausted.
You’ve carried so much for so long.
You just want peace.
You want quiet.
You want a life that doesn’t feel like a constant emotional war.

Healing is difficult because all three versions of you are fighting for something different.

But here is the truth:

🌼 Healing does not mean choosing one over the other.
It means listening to all of them with compassion.

Comfort your inner child.
Validate your inner teenager.
Support your adult self.

You don’t heal by ignoring your past —
you heal by understanding it.

You don’t heal by being strong all the time —
you heal by being honest, patient, and gentle with yourself.

You’re not failing.
You’re not weak.
You’re simply human — trying to rebuild in places where you were once broken.

🌼 Be gentle with yourself.
Healing is not easy, but you are doing better than you think.