BirthSpirit Midwifery

08/30/2025

https://bmjpaedsopen.bmj.com/content/9/1/e003760

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12/11/2024

My friend’s daughter is expecting for the first time.

12/05/2023

https://youtu.be/9GzV0SGzTb8?si=ufzo1JLNpQ52s14j

Ever wondered why childbirth is so expensive? It’s because like everything in America, healthcare is a business and hospitals look at the uterus like it's an...

11/18/2023

What is a midwife

A midwife is a chameleon, a leopard with ever changing spots.
A reflection of all those we have cared for
Of who we’re with in the moment
We dress ourselves to match the room, to match you in whatever ways we need
We’re patched together in a quilt of mismatched remnants and wonky threads
A quilt we’re forever picking at, loose threads tied, unpicked, re patched, ironed, scrunched
Some bits destined for the bin, other bits tucked in corners folded just so.
A life long project that is never really finished
I’ve remade myself again and again and I will again

Midwives are a work of art, a work of heart
A strange mix of science, biology.
A vast amount of abstract knowledge that we don’t know we know, yet somehow we do.
We exist in the moment before that first breath
We look you in the eyes, for a moment it’s just us two.
‘Just one more,’ part of me in awe as you pull it from the depths
Then we’re suspended in that brief all consuming hitch of your breath, that seems to last forever
Before we all breathe again when cries ring out like church bells on wedding days.
Towels fall around you like celebratory confetti, wiping away the old as we welcome the new.

And when silence stretches fourth, we will wrap you up tight, stop the world as you prepare to say goodbye.
Drape you in kindness, smallest touch, our words feeling hollow.
A Lilly white blanket that should have seen you home
Nothing feels like it can ever be enough

We’re the hand in your photos, the touch you’ve forgotten
We’re the photographers, the faceless voice, that face you can’t quite place
That person in Tescos that looks familiar, but you’re not sure from where
We’re your advocates, your voice, the rudder in the storm

We’re the rushing feet, the jangling keys
We’re the laughers, the cryers, the jokers.
The back rub that hits just right
The chirpy cheerleader in the middle of the night
Seeing you at your best and worst
Eventually becoming a blue blurry smudge on the periphery of your memories as time passes

But just so you know, just so you’re aware
A midwife is made up of all of you

Copyright: Midwifosaurus
Photo credit: ‘yes, you did it.’ Kate Kennedy Birth Photgraphy (See comments)

09/06/2023

This was written by my friend, Linda Smith IBCLC in 1986. Much of it holds true still.

“Here's a short piece I wrote on the spur of the moment on a typewriter (remember those?) back in 1986. Snarky, for sure...

HOW TO MAKE BREASTFEEDING DIFFICULT

1. Tell the mother to "feed on a 4 hour schedule" or "get the baby on a schedule." This results in a low milk supply and a hungry, frustrated baby and frustrated parents. Be sure to blame the crying on breastfeeding.

2. Be sure to "get the baby used to a bottle." This can result in a confused baby who refuses the breast. It's also a great way to lower the milk supply and undermine the mother's confidence.

3. Tell her she doesn't have enough milk if:
"The baby wants to nurse again after only 2 3 hours"...OR
"The baby will take 2 ounces of formula after nursing"...OR
"Your breasts aren't full and uncomfortable all the time"
Since milk supply insecurity is the primary cause of lactation failure, this will introduce an element of doubt and fear to the whole process.

4. Tell her she can't or shouldn't nurse if:
"She wants to eat chocolate (or Mexican food or cabbage, etc.)"...OR
"She smokes or wants to take medication"...OR
"She's going back to work/school in a few weeks"....OR
"She wants to go out in public...nursing requires privacy"...OR
"Her breasts are too small (or large)"...OR
"Her mother couldn't"...OR
"She's too nervous"... etc., etc., etc.
Find as many reasons for NOT breastfeeding as you can, and look for ANY reason to interrupt it. Put as much distance between mother and baby as possible.

5. "Dad should give the baby a bottle or he'll feel left out." This is another good way to minimize the importance of breastfeeding.

6. Tell her it may hurt to breastfeed, and that sore, cracked ni***es are normal. Pain is an excellent adverse stimulus. Don't teach her how to position the baby correctly. Do give her a ni**le shield, give the baby lots of bottles to disrupt the proper suck, and tell her to rub her ni***es with a rough towel to "condition" them.

7. Tell her to give the baby formula, glucose water and cereal right from the beginning, to make the baby sleep. This is another good way to insure inadequate milk supply.

8. Tell her that her milk might be too rich or too thin. This will further shatter her confidence. And be sure to tell her every "horror story" you've ever heard about breastfeeding.

9. Separate her from her baby at birth, and show by your actions that water, formula, pacifiers, and scheduled feedings are the appropriate way to care for the baby. Since she is especially vulnerable at this time and will follow your example, be sure to tell her how little breastfeeding matters.

10. Don't teach her the normal course of infant behavior. Don't warn her about growth spurts and frequency days. Don't call or visit her, and be sure to leave her alone in the critical first two weeks.

11. Give her plenty of formula samples to take home to further weaken her confidence. Make sure the literature you give her has many references to formula, and doesn't tell her how to keep her milk supply up.

All these tactics, individually or collectively, will discourage breastfeeding.

© Linda J. Smith, 1986, 1998”

02/15/2023

“No matter how many baby sleep ‘experts’ make the claim; wanting to be held to sleep, wanting to be worn for naps, wanting to feed to sleep - these aren't behavioural problems.
They aren't ‘habits, be they bad or good.
✨They are the expectations of our species.

🐒We would never say that a monkey has bad habits for staying with his mum night and day, feeding on demand for years.
🦘We would never claim a kangaroo joey needing to exterogestate in their mother's pouch for months after birth was a behavioural problem.
🦍We would never claim that a baby gorilla needs to be separated from its mother for 12 hours a day to learn independence.

Yet when it comes to human babies, we dismiss our species-specific needs and biological expectations, labelling them as simply behaviourally driven faults that must be squashed, and a whole industry has sprung up around convincing vulnerable new parents that doing so is not only possible, but necessary for their child's wellbeing.”
✨Professor James McKenna

📸 Vida Images

02/15/2023

Absolutely

“No matter how many baby sleep ‘experts’ make the claim; wanting to be held to sleep, wanting to be worn for naps, wanting to feed to sleep - these aren't behavioural problems.
They aren't ‘habits, be they bad or good.
✨They are the expectations of our species.

🐒We would never say that a monkey has bad habits for staying with his mum night and day, feeding on demand for years.
🦘We would never claim a kangaroo joey needing to exterogestate in their mother's pouch for months after birth was a behavioural problem.
🦍We would never claim that a baby gorilla needs to be separated from its mother for 12 hours a day to learn independence.

Yet when it comes to human babies, we dismiss our species-specific needs and biological expectations, labelling them as simply behaviourally driven faults that must be squashed, and a whole industry has sprung up around convincing vulnerable new parents that doing so is not only possible, but necessary for their child's wellbeing.”
✨Professor James McKenna

📸 Vida Images

01/23/2023

Bobby Ghaheri MD shared a post on Instagram: "Breastfeeding mechanics in 90 seconds!". Follow their account to see 67 posts.

11/28/2022

Here’s the thing.

I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to. None of us would. Do you know that?

You’re so grateful - and I suppose rightly so. You just had a baby - and yes, I helped you do it a little bit.

But you know what?

I dreamt about this job when I was a student, picturing you and your babies when I should have been studying care plans and fetal heart rates.

I take you home with me, replaying the things we did together, the ways I could have served you better, the joy that I got to see in your face.

I don’t mind, the blood, the smells, the dirty linens. It’s part of the job of course, but even more so, it’s the only way we can get these babies here.

I cry over you in the shower, wondering if I could have done something different, if I conveyed how much I cared for you in your loss.

Don’t you see it? I know you’re grateful for everything I did for you. But did you know that I am grateful for everything you did for me?

You let me see the good, the bad, the ugly. The desperate, the broken, and the empty. You let me teach you how to breastfeed, to swaddle, to change that first tiny diaper. You let my hands be the first to cradle your baby’s head. You let my eyes be the first to catch a glimpse of that face. And you let my hand be the first to hold yours when the tears wouldn’t stop.

You invite me into your biggest days. You give me access, authority, and privilege in your most precious moments. You show me the power of unconditional love. You show me women can do it.

You show me I can do it.

All of us - we’re at this bedside because we want to be. Because we love you, your babies, your families. Because you’ve changed our lives.

So be grateful - absolutely. That gratitude feels so good. But know too, that right here, in these spaces, we couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

xoxo,
your labor nurse

11/18/2022

Births at home have reached highest levels since at least 1990, CDC researchers say

09/30/2022

Mamas, remember....

“Mama,

I can’t see past you right now, I’m so small and everything’s a little blurry.

All I see is you.

When you feel alone, like the walls are closing in, remember I’m here too. I know your world has changed and the days feel a little lonely. But they aren’t lonely for me.

You are my everything.

When you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re making it look easy to me. Even though we’re still getting to know each other, you know me better than anyone.

I trust you.

When you think some nights you’ll never sleep again, you will. We both will. But I’m scared right now. I promise I’m not manipulating you. I just need your smell and comfort. Do you feel that tug in your heart when we’re apart? I do too.

I miss you.

When you feel as if you’ve achieved nothing, please know, my cup has never been so full.
The days that get away on you will be some of my best
memories of us playing together on the ground.
I love you.

When you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore, when you turn away from the mirror. That face will be the one I look to when I achieve something, the one I search for in a crowd. The reason for my first smile.

You’re perfect to me.

When you feel like the weight of it all is heavy in your heart, please know I’ve never felt lighter. Can I lay here with you a little longer?
I won’t always need you like this.

But I need you right now.

When you feel as if you have nothing left to give, when I see your hands outstretched at me, pleading. When we’re both crying. I wish I could talk, but I can’t.
If I could, I would tell you,

There’s a reason I chose you.

I can’t see past you right now mama, because you are my world.
It will get bigger, soon enough.

But for now,

All I see is you.”

♥️
This piece is from my book ‘All I See Is You’
Books available here: www.jessicaurlichs.com/shop 📖

Words: www.instagram.com/jessurlichs_writer/
Art: O Trocatintas

09/12/2022

Gorgeous

"They tell us how to grow a baby. What to eat.
What not to eat. What vitamins to take and what bras to buy. Allll the prenatal yoga moves to do.

But they forget to tell us how to put ourselves back together once that baby is born.
They forget to tell us how we might feel like we’re drifting.
Afloat. Alone. On a life raft with leaky breasts and sore stitches and a tiny little being dependent upon us for survival.
They forget to tell us how weird and wild it feels to have loose organs shifting about inside of us. How there will be so much softness still.

I get it. You don’t want to startle us. You don’t want us to be scared about what’s ahead.
But….a little heads up would be helpful
We’re brave enough for the truth.
And those things you find so scary- loose skin and leaky breasts and big feelings- we might just be bold enough to welcome them.
To see the beauty there.

So here’s the truth mama-
Your pelvic floor will probably need work and attention. You’ll have to put in some effort to regain that muscle strength, no matter how gentle your birth. Your breasts and belly will probably never be the same. Love them anyway. Love than more than before!! Celebrate them! Buy bras that make you feel sexy. Then move on.

Your identity and sense of self will change radically. Buckle up for the ride. You’ve got this. Your partnership and friendships and general relationship with the outside world might feel foreign for awhile. Or forever. Those relationships might crack and break under the weight of new parenthood. Live your truth. Leave the rest behind. In love.

The whole world might feel shaken up.
You’ll probably feel shaky and raw
That’s normal (they just forgot to tell you.)

You’re new here. In this skin. In this role. In this love. You’ll find your way. You’ll find your rhythm. It will all fall into place- with time.
Until then- breathe.
As deeply as you can.
Drink your tea before it gets cold.
If you can.
Rest -
whenever you can.
And love on your new self.
As deeply as you can."

❤️