04/01/2020
The reality right now is strange and unsettling to most of us 👀
Right now I would have been in Hawaii, preparing for the retreat in November, but I’m not. I’m in Holland staying at my family as I sublet my home for the time I would have been gone 🙈
This situation reminds me in many ways of the silent retreats I have attended. It changed my reality and my perception of who I am because of a lack of distractions. Realising that letting go of the illusionary ‘control’ in our lives is actually the way to start to look at unhealthy programing and create space for something different☝🏽
A week of silence looks like this: no social media, no books, no music, no writing. The retreats I stayed at (4x one week lying down meditations, 1x 10 day Vipassana) were in groups of 20-30 people. Without speaking, without eye contact. Meditating for 7-10 hrs a day. So no hugs, no conversations!
No usual duties as you would have at home. No paper work, doing groceries or handling emails. Very little distractions from yourself 👁
The first three days have similarities to those first 2-3 weeks in quarantine. I would try to continue as usual, become increasingly frustrated because of the impossibility of it and at the same time feeling more tired and heavy every hour. The tiredness of this fast paced rythem of ‘keep going’ for years + the unconscious speed of uncontrolled thoughts 🗣
At the same time there would be little moments of bliss ✨, happiness and ecstasy in the realisation that nothing NEEDED to happen. This moment is all there is and recognising the beauty in little things, especially food and nature 🌱
During day 4-6 I would experience even more agony, headaches and unexplainable muscle aches. Sleeping even more during lying down meditations and getting upset by the idea that I did not EVEN get to meditate.. that was the goal of this whole week/10 days, right?! I HAD to meditate as much and as “HARD” as I could! 😅 It might be good to realise these kinds of feelings and thoughts can or will arise in the next 3-4 weeks. It will get more boring. Spring will bloom harder. The sun will shine warmer and WE can’t go out OR gather! Moving towards the beginning of May 🌅
But then.. day 7(-10) ACCEPTANCE and surrender will introduces itself. and the light will start shining bright in the most unexpected moments. And you’ll realise that the days or weeks before brought you SO much insight on all those unhealthy patterns you developed over the years 🙀
And if I learned one thing: there is NO way to rush or push it. Like you can’t rush or push a a flower to bloom, like you can’t rush or push a kid to grow.. just take care of yourself and shower yourself with love 🌸 I know this can be challanging 💪🏼
So yeah.. I feel this whole Pandemic has put us all into a massive unvoluntary retreat. Retreats are not relaxing. Retreats are confronting and ‘hard work’. Fo realz! 🦹🏼♀️
And only AFTHER this most of us will realise what it brought them. And I’ll be happy to welcome you in my ‘oh so joyfull’! one week retreat on Hawaii. Where we will voluntarilly and by choice dive into the heart of the Rainbow Warrior to discover all the tools we have inside of us to navigatie this life, including times of crises, even more elegantly then we already do right now 🦋
Sending love and healing, namaste 🌈♥️🙏🏽
