10/16/2021
I see you.
You’re beautiful and worthy just the way you are.
I see that you want others to value you. I see that you struggle to value yourself…
I see that you’re waiting in some way or another, to arrive at some fantastic destination where you can let down all your burdens and smile in relief knowing that …
You “won”… you completed the mission laid out before you… you “earned” the badge of honor for your good work. You beat the shadow, the sickness, the grief, the judgment… you’re free.
I see you because I am you. I want that too. There are things I wish I could let go of that will always be a part of me. I will never be done healing as long as I live. A “healed” person doesn’t exist. And if someone claims it, I wouldn’t follow them.
Interesting how the key to real beauty is in the flaws, the key to joy is in embracing our grief, and the key to freedom is realizing the things I cannot change and finding acceptance, forgiveness…surrender.
I cannot change the past, but I can change the story attached to it. We are meaning-making creatures. We make art and our range of feeling is our swath of colors. I prefer to play with the rainbow, the complete range.
Not one of us got everything we needed in childhood, but we can give ourselves what we need. It’s our duty as members of society to learn how to do this— know yourself.
2020-2021 has meant for me: befriending myself radically amidst the chorus of inner voices that doubt me. There is no arriving and leaving them in the dust completely. Rather, I choose to invite them along, like lost beggars, on my sacred pilgrimage. I give them each a job so they can stay busy working for the cause of love. Besides, when I banish them from the group, they find their way back to my path in the woods. There’s no way to break with your own shadows; I can only absorb them into my wholeness… the growing capacity of my Higher Self.
When the shadows act out, listen now with tenderness to the hurt that lives underneath. Do not shame them anymore because you know how scared they are. Do not justify them either. Just be with them, hear them for what they are beyond your likes or dislikes. Know how much they need your love.