07/20/2025
Thereβs something Iβve been sitting withβhow differently beauty is expressed depending on where we are, and how much of it is actually ours.
On the East Coast, I felt the pressure of polish. The βput-togetherβ look wasnβt always about joyβit was about survival. Beauty as performance, not expression.
On the West Coast, I see the opposite. A rejection of vanity. A βdonβt careβ energy that, honestly, often feels like another kind of performance. Beauty denial as protection.
And I call bu****it on both, with love.
Because somewhere between polish and rebellion is truthβand truth looks different on everyone.
Many of us are carrying beauty narratives that were never truly ours:
-Inherited from mothers, aunties, or partners who only felt worthy when they looked a certain way.
-Shaped by marketing that preyed on our insecurities and promised us love, power, or belonging if we just fixed, plumped, lightened, tightened.
-Rooted in systemsβpatriarchy, capitalism, white supremacyβthat made appearance a form of currency.
And weβre still untangling those knots.
So let me be clear:
-Rejecting beauty entirely isnβt freedom eitherβespecially when what you say you want and how you show up donβt align.
-And conforming to a beauty narrative that isnβt yours? Thatβs survival mode, not self-love.
Cultural shame taught us:
-That beauty is dangerous, shallow, or selfish.
-That you either care too much, or not enough.
-That visibility has to be earnedβor hidden.
But hereβs what I know:
In my space, I offer permissionβ
π To care about your beauty without shame.
π To change your reflection without guilt.
π To want to be seenβfor realβwithout performance.
Let me ask you something tender-
When you look in the mirror β¦.
Are you showing up for love, for safety, or for truth?
What part of your reflection feels like you?
What was your first memory of being told you were beautiful?
What did it cost you?
What do you want to unlearn?
What do you want to RECLAIM?
This isnβt about vanity.
Itβs about VISIBILITY.
And I wish for that visibility to come from compassion, alignment and truth.
You deserve to be seen.
But first ββ you deserve to feel real.