07/20/2025
Thereโs something Iโve been sitting withโhow differently beauty is expressed depending on where we are, and how much of it is actually ours.
On the East Coast, I felt the pressure of polish. The โput-togetherโ look wasnโt always about joyโit was about survival. Beauty as performance, not expression.
On the West Coast, I see the opposite. A rejection of vanity. A โdonโt careโ energy that, honestly, often feels like another kind of performance. Beauty denial as protection.
And I call bu****it on both, with love.
Because somewhere between polish and rebellion is truthโand truth looks different on everyone.
Many of us are carrying beauty narratives that were never truly ours:
-Inherited from mothers, aunties, or partners who only felt worthy when they looked a certain way.
-Shaped by marketing that preyed on our insecurities and promised us love, power, or belonging if we just fixed, plumped, lightened, tightened.
-Rooted in systemsโpatriarchy, capitalism, white supremacyโthat made appearance a form of currency.
And weโre still untangling those knots.
So let me be clear:
-Rejecting beauty entirely isnโt freedom eitherโespecially when what you say you want and how you show up donโt align.
-And conforming to a beauty narrative that isnโt yours? Thatโs survival mode, not self-love.
Cultural shame taught us:
-That beauty is dangerous, shallow, or selfish.
-That you either care too much, or not enough.
-That visibility has to be earnedโor hidden.
But hereโs what I know:
In my space, I offer permissionโ
๐ To care about your beauty without shame.
๐ To change your reflection without guilt.
๐ To want to be seenโfor realโwithout performance.
Let me ask you something tender-
When you look in the mirror โฆ.
Are you showing up for love, for safety, or for truth?
What part of your reflection feels like you?
What was your first memory of being told you were beautiful?
What did it cost you?
What do you want to unlearn?
What do you want to RECLAIM?
This isnโt about vanity.
Itโs about VISIBILITY.
And I wish for that visibility to come from compassion, alignment and truth.
You deserve to be seen.
But first โโ you deserve to feel real.
