My journey with mindfulness began in graduate school when I was struggling with severe anxiety about having to take an oral comprehensive exam. In an attempt to try anything to manage my debilitating anxiety, I came across a Mindfulness self-help book, which changed my entire outlook on how I viewed anxiety: what if, instead of running away from life, I learned to actively engage in it by changing my relationship to anxiety? What if, instead of getting angry at myself, that as a counseling student I should not feel anxious, I admitted that I am a human being and that we all have these feelings? This perspective blew me away because what caused me even more anxiety than the exam was that I kept trying to get rid of this feeling or to “fix it.” This realization was a turning point for me as I delved into finding out more about myself. I went to therapy, where I was able to gain personal insight and identify my unhealthy thinking patterns and behaviors, which helped me to grow as both a person and a counselor. I also attended numerous mindfulness workshops, trainings and retreats. I began to practice Mindfulness Meditation which allowed me to put my new healthy habits into practice. I began to live with intention, cultivating self-compassion to balance out the critical self that had been in me for so long. I intentionally made the time for self-care and began to see how mindfulness was pouring into all aspects of my life, providing many more moments of joy. I now know how it feels to be on the other side and personally feel the many benefits of mindfulness and psychotherapy. I also know the courage it takes to be vulnerable enough to explore our inner self--a journey that, should we choose to begin, leads to a more joyful life.
