11/10/2025
3 years ago today a nurse came into my hospital room and said “so we’re having a baby this morning”. Matt and I thought nothing of it and I said “no ma’am, you’re in the wrong room”. She looked confused and walked out.
I’d gone into the ER the prior evening due to very high blood pressure readings. The doctors assured me the night before I wasn’t having a baby anytime soon. They’d even seemed completely unbothered when I called the triage line (as my MFM advised me to do, she said call and advise them you’re coming and go), the doctor on duty said you can come if you want and we can check your BP. I said well my doctor said I was to come if I got a reading above this point so I’m coming. I’d just seen my MFM Monday. She’d told me I had the look of preeclampsia but wasn’t going to call it yet. She said worst case if my readings got high they’d admit me and monitor it until 34 weeks at the earliest, i hadnt even hit 31 weeks. My MFM had also just had a hand surgery and said don’t worry I’ll be back to normal before your baby comes. Again, this convo was Monday and I landed in the ER Wednesday.
Back to Thursday morning, shortly after the nurse who we presumed was lost left the room, a herd of probably 10 people walked in. A doctor whom I’d never met said “you’re going to die within 24 hours if we don’t get this baby out of you” that was it. No explanation, no options, just the stern ominous warning I was going to die. All but the original “lost” nurse left the room. She remained back to tell me
That doctor whoever was a pioneer in preeclampsia and that I was lucky he was there to review my case and just like that she left. Left us alone with our thoughts of panic, of dread. I kept saying it’s too soon, it’s too soon for her to come. But what do you do when a doctor tells you you’re going to die? I knew nothing of preeclampsia other than what I’d seen in an episode of Downton Abbey, where the character did in fact die. But other than that I knew nothing. I knew I felt terrible but being as everyone said you’re miserable towards the end of pregnancy I had blew it off. There were other syptoms. My body had swollen up like a water balloon. My head was hurting but honestly it did and does almost constantly.
As they rolled us into the delivery room i just kept telling myself to bury it. Push down the panic. Stay calm. And there I was heading into one of the most physically taxing events the human body experiences on 48+ hours of zero sleep and no food in almost 24 hours.
If you’re wondering why I’m writing this… it’s because i think i need to. it’s to spread awareness of preeclampsia, how quickly things can turn. To encourage pregnant woman to educate themselves prior to crisis. To advocate for pregnancy. To encourage you to ask questions. And maybe a little self therapy for me because writing it is easier than talking about it.
I often wonder, would I have died? Could I have made it another week? 2 weeks? Would 7 more days have saved my daughter from all the nightmares she’s had to endure? Who can say for sure? I do know if I could do it again I would challenged them. I would ask for an explanation, for the data and for MY doctor to convince me.
As we get closer to Ruby’s third birthday I’ll be sharing more about the events that unfolded. Not everything will be doom and gloom, but there is a lot of darkness before we saw the light.
