Inner Healing Trauma Coach

07/15/2025

DEVALUED: To be devalued means to be treated as if your worth, contributions, feelings, or presence are less important or less valuable than they actually are. This can happen in personal relationships, at work, in social groups, or even in broader societal systems.

Being devalued often shows up as:

👉 Being ignored or dismissed (rejection)

👉 Having your achievements or opinions minimized (overlooked)

👉 Being taken for granted (unappreciated)

👉 Being consistently criticized or compared to others (verbally abused, judged)

👉 Caused to feel invisible, not good enough or easily replaceable (abandonment)

✨️🕊Healing from Devaluation🕊✨️

—🙏Therapy, counseling, inner healing prayer ministry, mind renewal, reframing can help unpack and heal those wounds.

—🙏Surrounding yourself with affirming people who see and appreciate your worth.🤍💯

—🙏Practicing self-validation—reminding yourself of your value, even if others don’t.

—🙏Setting boundaries to protect your emotional space from those who consistently devalue you.

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💔DEVALUED: THE ROOT OF MOST TRAUMA💔

The root of most emotional trauma (neglect, abandonment, rejection, physical/sexual/verbal abuse, etc) is a result of being devalued or maybe in some cases the perception of being devalued.

PERCEIVED VS REAL

Our feelings, perception, experiences can & will lie to us. Maybe a good example of this is someone with a wounding (unhealed past) of rejection or abandonment to which they easily view and/or manufacture the belief, feeling, or perception they are being rejected/abandoned when in reality that is not actually happening at all. Any subtlety triggers paranoia, fear, offense or an emotional response within them. Whats being triggered has an orgin. Inner healing ministry pursues and seeks out the origin rather than trying to help someone just manage all the triggering. Emotional and behavioral management is good and everything but healing, processing and reframing it is superior. Why manage something for the rest of your life when Jesus can heal it?

Okay back to the main topic. Think about this for a sec. Being devalued is the complete opposite of what we are created and designed for. Most everything that goes against the original intent & design of what something was created for brings some level of harm, distortion, pain, or disillusionment. We were designed to have & be VALUED.

Being valued is at the core of every healthy relationship. Your immense value fueled Jesus to sacrificially offer up his life in exchange for yours.

So what's the solution to being devalued? Let's simply reverse engineer this. I reversal of being devalued is rooted in LOVE aka "expressing value and worth" to & for others. If you love someone you, you communicate (in some form) VALUE to them. If you love and value your children you protect them. They are precious and valuable.

So LOVE & VALUE....We all need it, we are all designed for it... we all crave it and Jesus has the best supply of it

07/06/2025

I find that so many of my coaching clients just need compassionate guidance, help, & support in praying through the power of forgiveness in order to get free from all anger, hurt, bitterness, conflict, grievance, injustice, trauma, offense & pain being held from within.

👇BENEFITS OF FORGIVENESS👇

✨️Letting go of resentment releases the emotional weight you've been carrying—anger, bitterness, even hatred.

✨️You stop replaying the pain and give yourself permission to move forward.

✨️Forgiveness creates emotional closure even when there’s no apology.

✨️Forgiveness helps quiet the internal noise and mental tension that comes from unresolved pain.

✨️It reduces stress, depression, and anxiety, clearing space for healthier thoughts and perspectives.

✨️Chronic anger and unforgiveness are linked to high blood pressure, heart problems, insomnia, and weakened immunity.

✨️Forgiveness lowers cortisol levels (stress hormone) and promotes better sleep, improved immunity, and heart health.

✨️When you forgive, you reclaim your power & you’re no longer defined by what someone else did.

✨️It breaks the cycle of victimhood and allows you to live from a place of strength and dignity.

✨️Forgiveness teaches empathy and compassion, which deepens your ability to connect with others.

✨️It allows you to set boundaries without carrying emotional baggage into new relationships.

✨️Forgiving others reflects God’s forgiveness toward us (Ephesians 4:32), and can lead to deep spiritual maturity, humility, and peace.

✨️Forgiveness helps you let go of the pain of the past so it no longer contaminates your present or future.

✨️Forgiveness opens the door to healing and personal transformation.

07/06/2025

This may help someone out there better understand those who battle against addiction.

My sweet son went to be with Jesus Friday night. He wrote me a letter Thursday when he admitted that he had relapsed and I’ve decided to share that letter in the hopes that it can help other people. There is such a stigma surrounding addiction. Let me assure you that addiction does not discriminate. Most addicts hate who they are and the pain they cause other people. It is a choice to try drugs that first time but then the beast takes hold and they are tortured. I hope that by sharing this letter that parents, families and friends of addicts will treat them with love and compassion. I’m so thankful that Matheson knew he was loved and supported. I tried to move Heaven and Earth to save him but ultimately had to surrender him to God and pray for his will to be done in his life. I have no doubt he is at peace finally. He had John 14:6 tattooed on his side. He loved the Lord.

Here is the letter:

Mom

First I want to say I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. And I know those words don’t mean much anymore but I promise you with my whole heart and soul that I am very sorry and wish I was different. I wish I could go back. I have a disease, a mental illness. And that’s not an excuse and I don’t want it to be, but I do have something wrong with my brain and the way it perceives thoughts and emotions and rationality and decision making whenever I’m under the curse of drug addiction. I was doing good mentally and spiritually but once I gave in and re introduced that feeling of that intense rush and high I was done for. At the time I didn’t know it, I didn’t want to get high again bc of the shame I felt from it, but by the time the second temptation came I was so much more vulnerable and weak. What I do, what’s I’ve done, the things I’ve ruined, etc. When I think about it it makes me want to scream and cry and pull my hair out because I feel so out of control and wish I could make anything different. While I’m in the middle of a drug addiction I can never stop on my own, no matter what I think. Because I just want to get the rush and high again, bc it’s the only thing that brings me peace in the middle of all my shame, even though I know without a doubt it won’t fix anything, just make it worse, that’s the only comfortable decision I can make. I can’t stand to even think about reality when I think about how I’ve lied to you, made you feel like an idiot for tricking you, it makes me despise myself. Just at least know that by me doing that to you is what pushed me over the edge to make the hard and uncomfortable decision to do the only thing I can if I want to quit getting high and regain my life by going to a rehab.
Thinking about what I do to you makes me so miserable and please please believe that I’m sorry and that I really do love you so much! I’m stuck right now, for me I know there is only one way back out. I have to put myself in a place where there is no access to drugs for at least a couple of weeks. Could be jail or a nice rehab. The rehab is more pleasant and appealing, and it’s a positive environment that’s solely for healing. I just know how my mind works, a little bit of time to remember how much better and full life is without chasing a high.
My spirituality and relationship with God is all real. I still believe %100 that He is good and I know how much he loves me. But that’s just how powerful and deceiving the high that I’m chasing is. As current it is dominating my thoughts and emotions, and the lengths I take to get the high bring more shame that just fuels the fire.
This isn’t going to be my life, I truly do believe that. I know what my life looks like when I’m not in an addiction. It sucks that I gave in this time and I know that doesn’t look good for me bc I was clean for a long time. I was stressed about life and trying to figure everything out, and I really didn’t think that one time would lead to being completely out of control of everything. Something I hope and plan on taking with me from this little time of getting high will be a more complete understanding of how there is absolutely no “one time” with me or “moderation” or being a functioning drug addict. Because when I’m getting high that’s what runs my thoughts, I can’t put my time or energy into anything else because it is all I want, all that brings any kind of feeling. Because it feels so good it’s all I can do to get that feeling as often as possible; and that’s why I have a disease or something that is wrong with my mind.
I don’t like what I’m doing, I hate it while I’m doing it and when I’m not. I don’t enjoy anything about it, it is literally like I am trapped, it is literally like I can’t stop chasing the high, I can’t get myself to forget about it and to just live life as it was before chasing the high. It makes it impossible to mentally do anything but chase the high and get high.. idk why but once the high is re introduced, anything that doesn’t have to do with it is depressing and seems impossible to do without being completely miserable. All of what I’m telling you couldn’t be more accurate and true and I hope you believe me because the lies I tell you and hurt I cause you is not from the real true person I am. When I’m not stuck in addiction I couldn’t imagine lying to you or deceiving you or doing anything like that. Drugs have caused me to do things to myself and other people that make it hard for me to look at myself in the mirror at times. And right now I can’t and don’t want to see myself bc of what I’ve done the past few days

-Andrea Painter

07/06/2025

"Some Days Are Hard — And It’s OK"

By Jacob Biswell

Some days are hard. And that’s not a complaint — it’s a confession.

There are days when the alarm feels like a battle cry, not a gentle invitation to rise. Days when the weight of what needs to be done feels heavier than what’s left in the tank. Days when the world feels loud and your soul feels quiet. Days when you just want to stay under the covers and not have to hold it all together — again.

And you know what? That’s OK.

The Lie of Constant Strength

There’s a subtle lie many of us have believed, especially those of us in faith or leadership: that we must be strong all the time. That faith means smiling through the pain, that love means burning out to keep everyone else warm, and that somehow, being tired or discouraged is a sign of spiritual weakness.

But Scripture never demands that kind of pretense.

Even Jesus — the perfect Son of God — wept. He withdrew. He groaned. He got tired. He sweat blood. The Psalms are full of lament, and the prophets often felt crushed by their call. Paul wrote of despairing “even of life” (2 Corinthians 1:8). Hard days are not a failure — they’re part of the human experience.

You Are Not What You Produce

In a performance-driven world, we’re tempted to measure our worth by our output. Did I get enough done today? Did I respond to every need? Was I present, patient, productive? And when the answer is “not really,” shame creeps in — whispering that we’re falling behind or falling apart.

But you are not your performance. Your value isn’t in what you accomplish, but in who you are — and Whose you are.

God doesn’t love the productive version of you more than the exhausted version. He doesn’t withdraw His presence when you feel numb or overwhelmed. In fact, He draws near to the brokenhearted. He lifts the weary. He whispers peace over the anxious soul.

Hard days do not separate you from God. They invite you closer.

Permission to Be Human

Maybe today, you just need permission. Permission to be human. Permission to not have it all figured out. Permission to take a breath without fixing everything. Permission to sit with your feelings — without having to label them as “good” or “bad.”

You’re not lazy for needing rest. You’re not weak for needing support. You’re not failing if you’re grieving, questioning, aching, or struggling.

Some days you’ll conquer mountains. Other days, getting out of bed is the victory. Both are worthy of grace.

What If This Day Is Sacred, Too?

The truth is, we often encounter God in the mess more than in the moments that feel polished and put together. Elijah met God not in the earthquake or fire, but in the still small voice. Jacob wrestled through the night and limped away with a blessing. Jesus was resurrected — but only after the agony of Gethsemane and the silence of Saturday.

So if today feels hard, don’t despise it. It might just be holy ground.

The tears, the questions, the sighs too deep for words — they matter. God sees. God hears. God knows. And He’s not waiting for you to clean yourself up to draw near.

He’s in this very moment. With you. For you. Holding you together even when you feel like you’re falling apart.

So Breathe.

Let the hard day be what it is. Don’t rush it. Don’t shame it. Don’t pretend it’s not there.

Just breathe.

Cry if you need to. Rest if you must. Pray in fragments. Ask for help. Go on a walk. Take the pressure off. Speak kindly to yourself.

Because you’re loved. Not because you’re strong. But because God is.

Some days are hard — and it’s OK.
You’re going to be OK.

05/15/2025

Here's a breakdown of what spiritual pruning means and its benefits:

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Biblical Foundation

John 15:1-2 (NIV)
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”

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1. What Is Spiritual Pruning?

✨️Definition: It’s the process by which God removes things from our lives that hinder our spiritual growth—this could include habits, relationships, attitudes, or distractions.

✨️Purpose: To align us more closely with His will and make us more fruitful in character, purpose, and influence.

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2. Why Does God Prune Us?

✨️To Remove Spiritual Hindrances: Just like dead branches sap energy, sin, pride, or fear can limit our growth.

✨️To Encourage Growth: Pruning isn't punishment—it’s preparation for greater spiritual productivity and intimacy with God.

✨️To Develop Character: It refines traits like patience, humility, love, and trust in God’s timing.

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3. How Does God Prune Us?

✨️Through Trials and Challenges: Difficult seasons often bring clarity, dependence on God, and personal transformation.

✨️Conviction and Repentance: The Holy Spirit reveals areas of our life needing change.

✨️Scripture and Teaching: God’s Word cuts away false beliefs and renews our minds (Hebrews 4:12).

✨️Life Transitions: Sometimes, God removes people, places, or positions to redirect us.

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4. The Benefits of Spiritual Pruning

✨️Deeper Faith: It teaches reliance on God, not on self or circumstances.

✨️More Spiritual Fruit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness (Galatians 5:22-23) grow in abundance.

✨️Greater Purpose: It clarifies our calling and equips us to serve more effectively.

✨️Holiness and Maturity: Pruning moves us from surface-level Christianity to deep, Christlike character.

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5. How to Respond to Pruning

✨️Trust God's Process: Know that God prunes with purpose and love.

✨️Stay Connected to the Vine: Remain in Christ through prayer, worship, and Scripture.

✨️Be Willing to Let Go: Release what God is removing to make room for what He is growing.

In summary:
Spiritual pruning is a loving act of God that clears away what limits your growth and prepares you to bear more fruit. It can be uncomfortable, but it’s never without purpose—and always leads to greater life, faith, and effectiveness.

02/13/2025

Thank you David for an opportunity to support you in drawing closer to the Lord for breakthrough and healing 🙏 ✨️

01/25/2025

✨️WORDS OF THE WISE SOOTHE & HEAL✨️

✨️RASH & RECKLESS WORDS WOUND✨️

Proverbs 12:18 AMP
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 12:18 GNT
Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal.

PRAYER:

Dear God, grant me the wisdom to speak with clarity and love. Help, cause, & inspire my words be gentle streams of healing, flowing with kindness, love and truth. Help me to offer hope & encouragement to those who need it, to speak peace where there is conflict, and to be a source of comfort in times of distress. Cause my words to be guided by Your Holy Spirit, that they may soothe, uplift, and bring light to all I meet & interact with. Teach me to listen more than I speak, and to choose words that build up, never tear down. Help me to forgive myself and humble myself when I have chosen the wrong words and fall short in this area of life. In Your grace, I pray. Amen.

01/25/2025

✨️GUIDANCE & ADVICE✨️....its important where those things are sourced & derived from. One source can lead into the path of the divine while another may lead astray. Praying for discernment never hurts especially where confusion exists.

Confusion is often the product of a mixture of truth & error, hence the vacillation of being pulled between truth then pulled toward error, pulled toward truth, pulled toward error. (Corinthians 14:33)

Proverbs 12:26 NLT
The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.

Proverbs 12:26 GNT
The righteous person is a guide to his friend, but the path of the wicked leads them astray.

12/21/2024

12/15/2024

Task paralysis refers to a state where someone feels overwhelmed by the number or complexity of tasks they need to complete, causing them to feel stuck and unable to start or make progress on any of them. This can happen due to several factors, such as:

1. Overwhelm:

When a person faces too many tasks, they may not know where to begin or how to prioritize.

2. Perfectionism:

The fear of not completing a task perfectly can prevent someone from starting it at all.

3. Anxiety:

Worry about potential failure or making the wrong decision can lead to inaction.

4. Lack of clarity:

When tasks are not clearly defined, it becomes difficult to take action.

5. Executive dysfunction:

Individuals with conditions like ADHD may struggle with organizing, prioritizing, and initiating tasks, leading to paralysis.

Task paralysis often leads to procrastination and a feeling of helplessness, even though the person may desperately want to make progress. Breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps or using strategies like time-blocking can help overcome this feeling.

12/12/2024

Proverbs 4:7 (NKJV)
"in all your getting, get understanding"