Widowers Transformation Manual

Widowers Transformation Manual One Widowers path back to life.

05/13/2025

Well i have no idea if anyone sees this. I am enjoying things again. As always i am impatient to get back to "normal" but i noticed today that i enjoy my morning shower. I enjoyed installing an AC unit this weekend and a few other things in my life. I accually enjoyed the cool weather we have had. So life is moving on. Not nearly as stuck as i have been. There is a little expectation to enjoy things in the future. I can do this.

04/01/2025

At my third year it seems i have come to a hitch in my transformational path. Life is not bad. Not great like it was but not bad either. I get by. And my willingness to indulge the pain has waxed or wained (moon reference). I still have an occaisional cry but then i make myself move on. I am told the goal is to have the great memories be great memories and not suffer them. So far no such luck. I know i feel no pain in the present and yet it seems that no work gets done on the past either. As i write this i think maybe some meditation on the memories may work them loose. Bring some adult perspective to the hurt child that lives in my heart.

11/13/2024

Ever buy something and feel guilty even though you wanted it for 20 years but your wife would be mad and it is near the holidays and it was your money and your wife died 3 years ago. So you have no one to argue with about it so you argue with yourself and you just cant prove your point no matter what creative justifications you come up with?

11/13/2024

Well it has been 2.5ish years. In that time i have gone from brain dead to. Going through the motions to now where i am starting to feel emotions again but at a very basic level. Angry is strong. But the rest i do not know what to do with yet. Pushing through.

07/26/2024

It is not my thoughts that have given me trouble. I miss the great times with my wife and i think . Well that is over time to move on. It is the days i am just sad and and remembering the good times just makes me sadder. (More sad) . I used to be able to choose to be happy. Seems that is also in the past. Stay tuned. This too shall pass and you will hear it here first.(see what i did there?)

07/03/2024

So i had a sad day this past week. It did not stop me. I am moving forward. I am feeling an itch to get my house clean(really) for myself not because i have done minimal for the past 2 years. I am focusing on one.5 hobbies and putting the others away. Life is getting better. Focus is returning.

05/27/2024

I am at about 85% of a normal person. From 5% two years ago. I can laugh again. I slightly care about others. I somewhat keep up with my environment. And when my fridge died i did not fall apart and managed to take care of it. And the biggest recovery is that i seem to have found some things that bring me joy. Not 100% my house is still a mess and some projects are over years old. Working on it and i am thankful for the universe for not giving me more than i could handle when i could handle nothing.

05/27/2024

AI will never take over the world spellcheck cant even offer a duggestion if the first letter is jrong.

05/06/2024

God is great. All the time.

04/05/2024

As many know i am neuro spicy. Not diagnosed other than if im honest i have every symptom. And was able to conceal it growing up, mostly. I have studied many faiths and paths from budism to forum training. My mind loves the complex nature of human existance. However in a more simple form we are all just light. (If that sets your head on fire stop here).
I have been attempting to manifest a flow of money for the last three months. I have considered everything from opening a gun range to driving a truck. At my age it seems people would rather not hire me. So i made smart a$$ t-shirts. Pottery. Knives. A web site. Honey hives. Paintings. And several non proffitable things. applied for about 100 IT & other jobs. waiting on my manifestation to materialize. Susan died on easter two years ago. Easter is about the resurrection of our souls. In 9 days it will be april 14th the exact date of her leaving me to fend for myself. I have manifested many things including Susan. In my life. I have never had a drop dead date for it to occure. That date is approaching. So i am posting this to the universe in hopes of speeding up the process(lol) . I have faith i am in the light. That we are created in the image of God and that is the light and all that is seen and heard.

03/18/2024

most religions have some form of the "Golden Rule" and the 10 commandments, could have been written in one law. "Truly love thy neighbor". Some religious folks will argue that there is a different kind of whole love of God. However are we not created in God's image? why reserve a separate and lesser type love for our fellow travelers in this life?

Got this, this weekend. Now I am looking for a Troop to contribute to.
03/18/2024

Got this, this weekend. Now I am looking for a Troop to contribute to.

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