11/26/2025
I had the opportunity to speak with ’s culture writer Harmeet Kaur about ‘s infamous meeting with Trump.
She wanted a therapist’s perspective on his behaviors and how “desi kids” in general can be so skillful in charming authoritarian elders despite conflicting positions.
I explained how many of us have been unconsciously perfecting this skill our whole lives as multicultural human beings. Intergenerational conflict can get intense when the culture in which we are immersed outside of the home directly contradicts with values that we are expected to uphold inside the home. But we learned quickly that our greatest survival strategy, no matter how much we disagreed with our elders, was to maintain respect and politeness.
I often remind my clients that unless we honor our loved ones, our values AND ourselves, we will never find true contentment and peace in our lives. Honoring all three elements requires implementing boundaries which is unheard of in our cultures. But implementing Desi friendly boundaries is possible.
And this is what was able to execute beautifully. He avoided defensiveness, remained respectful and conveyed his values & positions in a manner that was digestible to his elder. He reached for common ground and redirected when necessary. He was able to achieve his goal of earning Trumps support and respect without compromising himself. Bravo, Mamdani you are a role model to so many of us for so many reasons.
I mentioned to CNN that harmony between people does not have to be dependent on agreement between one another. As long as we stay emotionally grounded, remain curious about differing perspectives, focus on points of connection rather than contention, and maintain a respectful demeanor, we can get along with anyone. This is true for both children of immigrants navigating their multicultural worlds, and for all folks just trying to get along with that one Uncle (or two) that always causes trouble at Family dinners.
