Dr. Jake Porter

01/15/2026

I'm honored to be serving as the keynote speaker for the first in-person national APSATS conference this February in Dallas!

This conference is a chance to be in the same room with people who care about doing this work well, it's not just about training. It's about connection, collaboration, and healing, and I couldn’t be more excited.

I'll be there, and I hope you will be too!

If you want to be part of this transformative event, click here: https://apsats.org/pages/apsats-conference-2026

There’s still time to join us at the APSATS 2026 Conference: Together We Rise – Collaboration, Care, and Community in Recovery—but it’s less than a month away and spots are filling quickly.

What if you could do more than follow your favorite wellness professionals online? What if you could meet them in person, have real conversations, ask questions, and experience connection—not just content?

The APSATS Conference makes this possible, offering direct access to these keynotes and more through immersive workshops and community gatherings.

Register now to join!
https://apsats.org/pages/apsats-conference-2026

01/14/2026

Grateful to be a contributor to the next issue of this fantastic resource for betrayed partners.

2 more days!
Become a member today at https://ttpmagazine.gumroad.com/l/turningtopeace
Sarah McDugal - Wilderness to WILD Dr. Jake Porter Hali Roderick Tesa Saulmon Steph Farnsworth

01/13/2026

After cheating or betrayal, most couples want the same thing.
To rebuild trust and move forward.

But trust does not return just because both people want it to. It takes specific conditions. It needs safety. Time. Consistency. Support that understands trauma, not just conflict. And a slower pace that gives the nervous system space to settle.

This is where many couples get stuck. They are trying. They are showing up to sessions. They are having the hard conversations. And still, trust feels just out of reach.

That does not mean they are doing something wrong.
It usually means that the structure they are working within is not built to hold what they are carrying.

An hour a week, no matter how well spent, is rarely enough to repair the kind of injury betrayal creates. Real healing often requires more space, deeper support, and a framework that can meet both people where they are, not weeks later, but in the moment.

This is why some couples choose a more immersive path. Not because they are trying to rush through healing, but because they want to give their relationship the best possible conditions for safety and trust to return.

If you have felt like your efforts are not making enough progress, it may not be about how hard you are trying. It may be that you need more support, not more pressure. Learn more about our Daring Ventures intensives:
https://www.daringventures.com/intensives/

👉 Share this with someone navigating trust repair after betrayal.
Follow Dr. Jake Porter for more trauma-informed guidance for couples rebuilding after infidelity.

01/12/2026

For betrayed partners, those words of reassurance after betrayal don’t bring the relief they expect.

This isn’t because they are ungrateful or unwilling to heal. It’s because reassurance alone cannot fix what cheating actually breaks. Betrayal doesn’t just cause hurt feelings. It disrupts a sense of emotional and physical safety. It shakes the ground of what once felt predictable and secure.

When that stability is lost, the nervous system begins asking new questions.
Can I trust this again when no one is watching?
Will these words hold up under pressure, stress, or discomfort?
Is it safe to relax, or do I still need to be on alert?

This is why reassurance often feels helpful for a moment, but never quite lasts. Words soothe temporarily. Safety is rebuilt through lived experience, through follow-through, transparency, and steady behavior over time.

Trust doesn’t return because the right thing is said often enough. It returns when what is said and what is done finally match, again and again.

If reassurance has not felt like enough for you, that does not mean you are broken. It means your body is responding in exactly the way it was designed to after your safety was disrupted.

And that response deserves to be understood, not rushed.

👉 Share this with someone who is trying to understand why cheating still feels unresolved.
Follow Dr. Jake Porter for more trauma-informed clarity about what healing really takes.

01/11/2026

After working with thousands of couples impacted by cheating, I’ve learned that the affair itself is rarely the whole story. What creates the deepest injury isn’t just the act of infidelity. It’s the loss of emotional safety, the collapse of certainty, and the sudden break in shared reality.

When trust is ruptured like that, it changes how the nervous system functions. It shifts the way people experience connection, memory, and even their own instincts. Many betrayed partners question whether they’re overreacting, or why they can’t just move on, even when things seem calm. But what they’re feeling is not overreaction. It is a normal trauma response.

What many couples discover is that reassurance and apologies, while important, don’t rebuild trust on their own. Healing comes from what is lived and repeated: transparency, follow-through, emotional presence, and a commitment to truth that shows up again and again.

And one thing I see in nearly every couple I work with is that shame often lingers beneath the surface. For both partners. It keeps people quiet. It keeps them stuck. And it keeps them believing they are alone in this.

But you are not alone.

Healing after cheating changes people. Not by returning them to who they were, but by offering a chance to rebuild with deeper clarity, stronger boundaries, and a more grounded sense of self.

If you are walking through this, know that your pain makes sense. Your reactions are valid. And healing is still possible, even if it does not look the way you expected it to.

👉 Share this with someone who is carrying the quiet weight of betrayal and needs a little more clarity right now.
Follow Dr. Jake Porter for grounded, trauma-informed guidance as you heal.

01/10/2026

People stop reaching out.
They share less of what they’re feeling.
They carry more on their own.

Not because they’re weak. Not because they don’t care about connection.
But because betrayal activates shame. Even in people who did nothing wrong.

Shame says:
“Don’t burden anyone.”
“Keep this to yourself.”
“Disappear until you’re okay.”

At first, isolation can feel protective.
No questions to answer.
No risk of being misunderstood.
No need to explain why this pain runs so deep.

But over time, isolation doesn’t protect healing. It deepens the pain.

And the way out isn’t about forcing yourself to be social.
It begins with understanding why distance made sense.
Your nervous system was trying to protect you. That matters.

True healing begins when shame is named.
When you realize you are not alone.
When someone else speaks the words you’ve been afraid to say.

You don’t stop isolating by pushing harder.
You stop isolating when connection starts to feel safe again.

There is support for that.
And you deserve to feel it.

👉 Click below to learn more about a free online event created to help people face shame and isolation after betrayal.
https://the-shame-summit-2026.heysummit.com

The Shame Summit is here to meet you where you are.
Follow Dr. Jake Porter for more trauma-informed guidance and support.
Share this with someone who may be carrying more than they let on.

01/07/2026

When people hear the word “betrayal,” they often think only of cheating.

And while cheating is one of the most painful and obvious forms, it is not the only way trust can be broken.

Betrayal can look much quieter.

It happens when emotional safety fades slowly over time.
When someone becomes emotionally unavailable even though they are physically present.
When promises are made and broken over and over again.
When repair is avoided instead of embraced.
When honesty becomes inconsistent and the truth starts to feel slippery.

This kind of betrayal can be just as painful, but it often leaves people feeling confused.
They wonder if their hurt is valid.
They question their reactions because there was no affair, no headline event to point to.

But here is the truth:
Betrayal is not defined only by what happened.
It is defined by what was lost.

When the relationship no longer feels safe, when trust fades and your sense of reality starts to unravel, the nervous system responds. Even if there was no cheating, something real was broken.

This kind of pain deserves to be named.

Understanding betrayal in its full expression is not about downplaying infidelity.
It is about honoring every experience of relational rupture that leaves someone feeling unseen, unsafe, and unsure of what is real.

If this resonates with you, your feelings are valid.
You are not too sensitive.
You are not imagining things.
And you are not alone.

👉 Share this with someone who needs language for pain that didn’t come with a headline.
Follow Dr. Jake Porter for more trauma-informed insight into trust, safety, and healing.

01/06/2026

“I feel like I lost myself.”
It’s one of the most common things I hear from people after cheating.

And yet, so many assume it means something is wrong with them. That they should be further along. That the pain has lasted too long. That somehow they’re failing at healing.

But losing your sense of self after betrayal is not a personal flaw. It’s a completely human response to having your reality pulled out from under you.

Cheating doesn’t just break trust in the relationship. It breaks trust in your own perception. You start to question your instincts, your memory, your ability to recognize what’s real. And when your sense of reality collapses, your sense of self often follows.

Suddenly, even the most ordinary things feel uncertain. You may find yourself second-guessing simple decisions. You might not recognize the version of you that emerged in the aftermath. And instead of feeling grounded, you feel like you're floating in a version of life that doesn't quite fit anymore.

This is not because you’re broken. It’s because your nervous system is doing everything it can to protect you after something destabilizing.

A lot of people try to force themselves back into confidence. They try to think their way into clarity. But identity doesn’t return through pressure. It returns through safety. Through consistent truth. Through small moments that teach your system, slowly and gently, that you’re no longer in danger.

You don’t go back to who you were before. You begin building a deeper connection with who you are now, someone who sees clearly, feels more grounded, and trusts their own voice again.

If you feel disconnected from yourself right now, please hear this: you are not lost. You are in the process of returning. And that process deserves patience, not shame.

👉 Share this with someone who feels like they lost themselves after cheating.
Follow Dr. Jake Porter for trauma-informed support and clarity as you heal.

01/05/2026

One of the most confusing parts of cheating is realizing the pain doesn’t end when the truth finally comes out.

Many people expect a sense of relief after discovery or disclosure. They think that once everything is out in the open, the hardest part will be over. But for most betrayed partners, that’s not what happens.

Because cheating doesn’t just introduce lies. It disrupts safety. It shakes your sense of identity. It changes how you feel in your own body and how you remember your shared story.

Even when the facts are known, the body is still trying to make sense of what happened. The nervous system is still asking whether this is safe. Whether the danger has passed. Whether it’s okay to start trusting again.

That’s why you might feel unsettled even after things seem “clear.”

That’s why pain can linger even when honesty improves.

This is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It’s a sign that your healing is still unfolding. That your body and mind are still catching up with the rupture. And that you are doing your best to protect yourself while trying to stay open.

New beginnings after cheating don’t start by forgetting the past. They begin when you start honoring what has changed and allowing yourself to grow at a pace that feels honest.

When couples slow down and respect this stage of healing, something different starts to emerge. More clarity. More self-awareness. More honest connection.

A relationship that is built in truth instead of illusion.

If you're in that place now, trying to heal, even if it doesn't feel hopeful yet, you're not behind.

You're at the beginning of something new.

👉 Share this with someone navigating growth after cheating.
Follow Dr. Jake Porter for grounded, trauma-informed support through every phase of healing.