02/15/2022
Self Righteous Bill
I met a man names Bill several years ago when I was working in a drug rehab program. He had stopped drinking several years earlier through a powerful spiritual experience through which he became a Christian, and over the course of time, after suffering the loss of his parents to cancer and struggling with the rebellious behavior of his teenage sons, had started drinking again. Ashamed of himself that his faith had not been enough to keep him from drinking, Bill bowed his head and wept bitterly.
His family came for a therapy session, and his sons tearfully confronted their father with how they had grown to hate him for forcing them to sit on the couch for hours while he would read to them from the Bible... and for how he would literally preach sermons to them, but had no time for them... and how he had no apparent interest in who they were as people. Ashamed of himself for finding himself addicted to religion, and having forgotten about the love of God for his sons, Bill literally fell on the floor sobbing at their feet, begging them for forgiveness.
Through the process of reaching what he considered to be the lowest point of his life, Bill was given an opportunity to see himself clearly and painfully as the extremely religious, self-righteous, and unloving failure of a father that he had managed to become in his self-prescribed efforts to become "Godly". His intentions were good, but through the course of his life he had isolated himself from others, and could not see who and what he had become. Bill left rehab, knowing that he was weak and flawed as a man, but reminded of God's great love for all. He began to learn of his need for true authentic relationships with others. He began to develop and nurture positive relationships with his sons, and with others who could help him on the road to recovery.
Through his failures, Bill was blessed by God to be given an opportunity to learn that:
1) true spirituality is not about being "right", but is about having a healthy relationship with God, with himself, and with others;
2) having fervent religious beliefs and convictions in the absence of a healthy sense of humility and compassion for others puts a person in the same category as the religious leaders who were the enemies of Jesus; and,
3. people don't care what (or Who) you know unless they know that you care about and respect them.
