07/21/2025
Another Monday Mental Health Minute with Michael.....
There is a difficult truth that needs to be said.
We’re often taught from a young age to “be nice.”
Smile. Say please. Don’t make waves. Keep the peace.
But somewhere along the way, many of us confuse being nice with
being kind, and there is a big difference.
Being Nice is About Appearance.
It wants to avoid conflict. It plays it safe.
It says what people want to hear even if it’s not honest or helpful.
Nice is often, polite, even when something’s wrong, agreeable, even when something needs to be said, focused on being liked rather than being real
But here’s the thing, nice can leave people feeling comfortable, but unchallenged, unchanged. Is that a good thing?
Being Kind is About Integrity.
Kindness is rooted in truth.
It’s loving, but it’s also honest.
It doesn’t avoid conflict to keep the peace, it creates real peace by caring enough to speak or act, even when it’s hard.
Kindness looks like, setting boundaries with love, saying no without guilt, speaking the truth in grace, not in silence, doing what’s right, not just what’s pleasant
Kindness is a risk, you risk looking “mean”, uncaring, being misunderstood, But that risk is to actually help someone heal.
Nice avoids tension.
Kindness enters the mess.
Nice says nothing when something's wrong.
Kindness speaks when silence is harm.
Nice wants to be liked.
Kindness wants to love well.
We need more kindness in the world, not just niceness.
The kind of love that shows up, even when it's inconvenient.
The kind of presence that holds space for truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
So today, let’s choose something deeper than being “nice.”
Let’s choose to be kind. Brave. Honest. Human.
~Michael Starr, LICSW, Behavioral Health Director