11/15/2024
Trauma bonds have a pattern of abuse that reinforce intense releases and dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline.
The body is completely hijacked— physically.
Overtime, the person stuck in this cycle does many things out of character— just like anyone in addictive addiction. The highs and the lows and the rollercoaster of the emotion become all-consuming.
There’s an intense period of build-up, love bombing, commitment, and promises. Then a withdrawal or rejection happens leaving that partner confused, dazed, and disoriented. Doing anything they can to get back in their partners good graces. Remembering the “good” person and the “good times.” The loving periods feel like a high. And the dark periods feel like a hell.
There’s even more shame when people witness the behavior and ask the person “why aren’t you leaving?” or “why do you put up with this?”
After relationships like this end, there can be months of complex trauma symtoms including:
- gut issues (issues with appetite, digestion
- Insomnia
- Withdrawal symptoms
- High cortisol, hypervigilance
- Lack of self trust, confusion around “did that actually happen? Was I exaggerating? (Self gaslighting)
- Panic/anxiety
- Functional freeze (numbness, completely dissociated)
I hope this post gives you grace if you’ve been in a relationship like this. Or, some empathy if you see someone you care about in one.
I have an upcoming video that dives into the entire cycle of a trauma bond coming soon on YouTube. Subscribe to my channel by searching for my name: Dr. Nicole LePera or “the holistic psychologist.”
Share with anyone who could use awareness
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