11/22/2025
My inner child loves the drugs
And doesnt stop for any fleeting feeling
theyre flippant f**k them hugs
I got myself but i cant feel my body
I wont leave cuz i gotta go through the same lobby i waited in when I entered
i did not consent to this PTSD ive remembered
Ive gotta quit the deja vu even tho its my day job too
for instance left and right sit patiently as patients to be seen by what we call the instrument of insane men
Doctor doctor left left right alone right when right writes the lyrics to this song
Both deny theres anything wrong.... right.
Really Right left left right as left made decisions out of spite
Left's left with right's hate and residual fright
But theyre both still here in that same f**king lobby with walls full of mirrors
I cant do it.
I have to go get them
But that room...that room!
Id rather die before i step in again
I can hear the shifting of the floor when there's no one there
Stressed boards scared of the same thing i am
I can feel the dim lights and muted colors in the air
This doll house is a part of me wallpaper skin peeling from putrid pipe leaks damn
These walls must be thin
Thickets of furniture block the route to come within
So my left and right dont have a chance anyway
to meld with a bed and experience the world that presents itself when sight goes away
No wonder there pi**ed, and i just leave them thereto get madder
its the devil in me
Pack your bags and clench your fists weave through the halls and fly down the stairs like they matter to you
its the angel in me
My inner adult teaches in a different way
With total indifference but an expectation that you pray
to the divinity that reaches the parts of your soul that listen
The call dropped and you dont even know what youre missin
Wishin for the best but too busy with kissin ass to your inner child
Distant confessions stopped before they got too wild
Father, please forgive me and my senses mild and apathetic
For i have sinned to take care of expenses that keep me copacetic with the world around me
its sick
Im stuck sticking to a lifestyle that i didnt pick
it found me
Ironically
saved me through a curse
Profoundly
The honesty of it
Has me craving til i burst
Rachel Hope Kerkes
