06/23/2025
The Older I Become, The More My Clients Seem To Appreciate Me
In the early days of ADSLA, most of my clients were the same age as me – that is, the adult children of senior parents. Now I am in my 60s and most of the clients who seek ADSLA services for their loved ones are in their 40s and 50s. That being said, I have never sensed any sort of bad attitude toward me for this reason. I guess it’s because clients know I have been around the block a few times during the past 20 years. Clients and their older loved ones actually appear relieved when they see I am not a kid.
While not a kid, and often only 5 or 6 years younger than the senior for whom I am providing services, I do strive to stay young by dancing and playing the harp in my free time and by working hard on behalf of my clients. I pride myself on the fact that I was taught the right way to do things in a Catholic continuing care retirement community. I was trained by a taskmaster 10 years younger than me, and I worked under the scrutiny of nuns who wanted to do it their way, which was the same way as when the community opened in 1950. Now, being closer in age to my elder clients, it sometimes puts things into a totally different perspective for me.
The client I have in mind as I share these thoughts is a 72-year-old woman who has been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. As the Mayo Clinic explains, Lewy body dementia is the second most common type of dementia after Alzheimer's disease. Protein deposits called Lewy bodies develop in nerve cells in the brain. These deposits affect brain regions involved in thinking, memory and movement. Mental abilities in persons with Lewy body dementia gradually get worse over time. The afflicted senior might see things that aren't there (i.e., have visual hallucinations) or experience symptoms akin to those of Parkinson's disease: rigid muscles, slow movement, and tremors. Unfortunately, as Lewy Body Dementia progresses, the person with the disease exhibits behaviors that are erratic and can even become violent.
Despite her Lewy Body Dementia diagnosis, at this stage of the game, my client is self-sufficient. She travels to all of her doctor appointments in an Uber. The son has a GPS tracker on her cell phone. I was hired by her son, however, to attend all of her appointments with her. Upon seeing me for the first time, I believe she was absolutely elated that I wasn’t a youngster. Due to her medical conditions, my senior client sees at least 9 doctors, a social worker, physical therapists and an occupational therapist. She wants me there for moral support, advocacy in case she becomes overwhelmed, and to report the findings of each appointment back to her son. I believe my age and experience give her confidence in my abilities and understanding.
My client had been an insurance claims adjustor and an administrator at a non-profit organization, so she is detail-oriented to the extreme. She is on at least 20 different medications that she has recorded on paper, and each one is color coded to designate whether it is over-the-counter versus prescription, and what time of day it needs to be taken. She has medication boxes assembled in two-tiers according to whether a medication needs to be taken in the AM or PM. I asked her whether she had ever missed a dose. She said, “Yes, once, when I fell asleep. But I knew I needed to take it with the next dose since I missed.” When the social worker from the hospital and her primary care physician asked me if I had checked out her system, I replied yes, but the system was elaborate and it was working for her. Accordingly, for me to change it for no reason would just confuse her.
Naturally, I am concerned because we are currently enjoying the Cinderella part of this journey, which could become very difficult over time – if and when my client exhibits the behavioral changes associated with Lewy Body Dementia. I have discussed the types of support services that we will likely need to implement down the road. But for now, I am walking a cautious line between keeping her safe and keeping the least restrictive alternatives in place for her. I guess taking into account my own age makes me sensitive to this and many other things. How would I want someone to treat me?
