01/23/2026
Twenty years is a long time to live next to someone you love… and feel completely untouched.
A man left a comment that he is has been in a s*xless marriage of 20 years. His wife decided two decades ago that s*x was “over,” and she won’t discuss it or consider help. At this point, the only s*xuality he has left is ma********on, and even that feels less like pleasure and more like survival.
Here’s what I’ll tell anyone in this situation:
1) Communicate clearly and kindly. Not hints. Not resentment. A real conversation: “I’m lonely. I miss closeness. I miss you. I miss us. This is hurting me. I need us to address it.”
2) Ask for relationship help.
S*xlessness isn’t just a bedroom issue; it’s a connection issue. Couples therapy, s*x therapy, medical evaluation… something!
3) If your partner refuses to participate, get help for yourself. You can’t do couples work alone, but you can get support, build clarity, and stop bleeding in silence.
4) Then weigh your options with honesty. Not as a threat, but as a reality check. You get one life. How much longer can you live with this pain? What are you willing to accept? What are you no longer willing to sacrifice?
A s*xless marriage can feel like invisible grief because the person is still there, but the intimacy is gone. You are not “shallow” for needing touch, desire, and closeness. Those needs are human.
If this is you: you don’t have to suffer quietly.
*xdoctor *xdoctor *xlessmarriage intimacy marriage relationships s*xualhealth couplestherapy s*xtherapy emotionalneglect loneliness communication
