
05/01/2025
A few moments from April
Somewhere along the way, I confused control with care
I believed that if I could just hold everything together—
every detail, every emotion, every outcome—
then nothing would fall apart
And for a while, that belief served me
It helped me survive open-heart surgery
It gave me structure when life felt chaotic
It carried me through seasons of loss, and into the business I now run
But it also made me hard to reach
Because control, I’ve learned, can look like discipline—
but feel like distance
It can keep you safe, while quietly keeping you from presence
This month, I did something different
I went to the mountains without over-planning
I spent time with family not because it was convenient, but because I wanted to
I let myself feel grief—not manage it
I gave myself permission to loosen the grip
And for once, I didn’t spiral
The world didn’t fall apart
If anything—it opened up
This wasn’t a month of big wins or epic moments
It was quiet. Intentional. A little tender, honestly
But it reminded me:
Gardens don’t grow because you sharpen the tools
They grow because you show up and tend to them
Water what matters
Pull the weeds
Stay present
So that’s what I’m practicing right now
Not fixing
Not controlling
Just being here
And if you’ve been carrying a little too much for a little too long—
maybe it’s time to breathe
to loosen the grip
to remember that presence is its own kind of progress
Let the garden grow
Life’s a journey, let’s keep learning and growing 😊