11/25/2025
This is a rewrite of an older blog post. Posting again because it's proving to be the best advice and hardest to follow!
I really do believe we’re evolving as a species. One of the clearest signs is the surge of relationship wisdom on social media. I often think about how much I could have used all those conversations about attachment, love languages, and trauma bonding when I was younger. It’s encouraging to see us questioning old relationship norms and creating space for new ways of connecting.
One big shift I’m noticing is that people are slowing down—questioning quick commitments and wanting to build lives where partnership sits alongside friendships, passions, and personal well-being. But what does “going slow” actually look like? To me, it means nurturing a connection in a way that allows a true foundation to form. A few ways to do that:
Wait to be s*xual (if you want to).
This isn’t about morality. There’s nothing wrong with sharing pleasure early on. But if you’re seeking long-term partnership, waiting can help you sense what other forms of connection exist—and build some delicious anticipation. It creates space for conversations about what s*x means to each of you and lets emotional and intellectual bonds grow.
Include each other’s friends.
Bringing friends into the early stages of dating reveals so much about who a person is. Friend groups reflect values, lifestyle, and support systems. Plus, being around people who know you can ease the intensity of early dating. Instead of asking friends what they think of your date, try asking how you seem when you’re with them.
Commit in stages.
Our culture often jumps from first date to “couple” without clarifying what commitment means. Rushing builds a shaky foundation—especially when people lean on each other to fill emotional or financial gaps. Ideally, commitment unfolds gradually: first shared agreements, then practical conversations about future logistics, and only later longer-term intentions like living together or marriage.
Keep doing the things you love.
Falling in love can be intoxicating, and it’s easy to let everything else slide. But your interests, rituals, and relationships are part of what made you you in the first place. Keep nurturing them. They stay essential to your well-being and to the health of the relationship.
Spend time alone.
A bit of solitude helps you stay connected to your own values and desires. When we care for someone, we naturally absorb some of their perspectives; alone time helps you integrate what fits and stay grounded in yourself.
What ideas do you have to not get swept up in the anxiety and hormone rush of a new relationship?
