03/15/2023
S*x shouldn't hurt, unless you want it to.
I had the privilege of being a guest on a panel after a screening of the documentary, Below the Belt, at Cornell last week.
Endometriosis can make s*x hurt and can make enjoying anything about s*x really hard.
1 in 10 women+ have endometriosis in this country
It takes an average of 8-10 years to get a diagnosis. And what’s worse? Accessing treatments that actually work can be virtually impossible for some.
Endometriosis can wreak havoc on someone’s s*x life. Read on to learn more if you have endometriosis or loves someone who does.
1. S*xual pain. Endometriosis can lead to pain throughout the abdomen and even other parts of the body. People with endometriosis often have deep dyspareunia, meaning that they have pain with deep vaginal pe*******on.
2. Or**sm. Pain with s*x can make it nearly impossible to have an or**sm during partnered penetrative s*x. Most women need other types of stimulation to reach or**sm but penetrative play can play a big role in feeling connected and increasing feelings of intimacy. Developing a disconnect between pe*******on and or**sm can be very difficult for many couples.
3. Desire. It stands to reason that if s*x hurts and you aren't having or**sms, then you aren't going to want to have s*x. This is born out in the literature as women with endometriosis are less likely to want s*x.
4. Infertility. Endometriosis is a leading cause of infertility, approx 30-50% of endo sufferers have trouble getting pregnant. While s*x is about more than procreation, any s*xual activity can be a reminder of difficult feelings related to not being able to get pregnant. For people who long to be a parent, thinking about s*x means thinking about loss. This can be a major turn off and can short circuit s*x and intimacy.
5. Mental health. Having endo makes you feel bad in your body.. a lot. It can make being in your body or trusting your body difficult. It can disrupt your body image and make you feel bad about your body, not just the way it looks but the way it feels to live inside it. This is not the kind of experience that leads a person to feel s*xy, embodied or playful. In addition, endometriosis is associated with anxiety and depression, both of which are associated with s*xual dysfunction.
If you have having pain with s*x due to endometriosis, know that there is help to get you back to a more pleasurable and connected s*x life. Reach out for a free consult.
*xcounselor *xmed *xmedicine *xshouldnthurt *x
