Waves of Change, LLC

09/11/2025

A thousand yeses!

What I want most is for my children to see me as a safe place. Not the person they avoid when something goes wrong, but the one they instinctively turn to — knowing I can hold what they’re carrying.

That kind of trust doesn’t happen by chance. It’s built in the thousands of everyday moments where our reactions teach them what to expect.

If honesty is met with panic, shame, or punishment, they learn to withhold. If honesty is met with presence, calm, and curiosity, they learn to lean in.

It’s not about having all the answers — because sometimes I won’t. Sometimes I’ll be just as unsure, just as afraid.

But I can promise this: I’ll sit in it with them. I’ll figure it out alongside them. I’ll show them that facing life together is safer than facing it alone.

That’s how trust is built: not through perfection, but through consistency. Through proving, again and again, that my love can hold both the mistake and the repair, both the fear and the courage.

Because the real goal isn’t that they never stumble. It’s that when they do, their first instinct is to reach for me — knowing my response will steady them, not scare them away. ❤️

Quote Credit: .moms ❣️

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09/05/2025

We live in a culture where correction often feels like attack. Where feedback bruises the ego instead of shaping the person.

But if we can’t be corrected without being offended, we don’t grow — we just protect our pride at the expense of our progress.

That’s why this lesson matters so much for our children. And it starts with us.

When they watch us own our mistakes instead of deflecting… when they hear us say “you’re right, I could have done better there” instead of scrambling for excuses… when they see us receive guidance without bristling, they learn that correction isn’t humiliation — it’s refinement.

But discernment matters too. Not every opinion carries wisdom. Not every piece of advice deserves action. Growth doesn’t mean obeying every voice; it means learning to listen, to weigh, to consider — and then choosing wisely what to carry forward.

Correction given with care is not a threat — it’s a gift. And advice, even when it doesn’t fit, can sharpen our perspective if we’re willing to hear it without offence. That’s the skill worth passing on.

Because children who grow up seeing feedback as opportunity — not condemnation — will always have the freedom to keep evolving into more of who they’re meant to be. ❤️

Quote Credit: Unknown❣️

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09/02/2025

Challenging words for us all. This doesn’t just apply to our parenting, but to our friendships, our marriages, our institutions, our world, even our relationship with ourselves.

We spend so much energy trying to manage our children’s behaviour — the tantrums, the talking back, the defiance.

But often what we’re really battling is the discomfort it stirs in us. The fear of losing control. The echoes of our own childhood. The belief that if they act “right,” it will mean we are doing “enough.”

The real shift happens when we turn inward. When instead of tightening our grip on them, we loosen the grip fear has on us.

When we start tending to the parts of ourselves that feel chaotic, unworthy, or unsafe, so we no longer ask our children to carry the weight of calming us down.

Because control doesn’t create connection — healing does. And when we do that inner work, we stop reacting out of fear and start responding out of clarity.

Our children don’t just get a calmer home — they get a parent who models what it looks like to live free from the need to control…

And that is the kind of safety that lasts. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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08/13/2025

Healthy emotional boundaries are so important for both adults & kids!

One of the quietest tragedies in life is how early we learn to leave ourselves behind…

To soften our voice so it doesn’t take up space.
To swap what we really feel for what’s easiest to hear.
To fit into rooms that would never have made space for us otherwise.

When we teach our children that belonging requires them to abandon who they are, we set them on a path of searching — for approval, for identity, for themselves — in all the wrong places. And that search can last a lifetime.

So I can’t think of anything more valuable to give them than the freedom and the tools to stand unapologetic and unafraid in who they are.

To walk into a room without shrinking.
To hold their own truth without needing everyone to agree with it.
To trust that the right people will meet them as they are, and that the wrong ones aren’t worth the cost of self-betrayal.

Because in a world that will always offer them chances to trade authenticity for acceptance, 
I want them to know — without doubt — that they NEVER have to take the deal. ❤️

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07/30/2025

Sure you can get a child to obey out of fear…

Raise your voice. Narrow your eyes. Make them flinch — and they’ll fall in line.

It might look like respect.
It might even impress people on the outside.

But who cares what it LOOKS like,
if what it FEELS like to the child is anxiety?

If they’re shrinking on the inside,
terrified to mess up,
terrified of us?

What we’ve built then, isn’t trust.

It’s a relationship where mistakes are dangerous.
Where truth gets buried.
Where the fear of rejection drowns out the freedom to be real.

Respect built on fear is not real respect.
It’s control dressed up as discipline.
And the cracks in that system run deep.

Real respect comes from being understood.
From being treated like a human being.
From knowing that even in your worst moments,
you are still safe, still loved, and never too much to hold.

That is the kind of respect that lasts —
NOT because they fear you, but because they TRUST you. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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07/19/2025

This message is equally true of us as adults!

The world was never meant to be shaped by one kind of child.

And yet, so many children grow up believing they have to quiet down, shrink themselves, or behave a certain way to be seen as “good.”

But the truth is:
We need the gentle observers who notice what others miss.
The fiery leaders who speak up and shake things loose.
The dreamers, the question-askers, the boundary-pushers, the deep feelers.

Every single one brings something this world desperately needs.

So let’s stop measuring goodness by how easy a child is to manage — and start honouring who they truly are.

Because a child’s worth should never be defined by how neatly they fit into a box. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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07/16/2025

THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!

07/13/2025

One of the earliest — and most damaging —lessons we teach children is that being good means “doing as you’re told”. That obedience is a virtue, and disobedience is a flaw.

Children aren’t here to be programmed. They’re not meant to follow orders without question or silence their instincts to keep the peace.

When we teach them that saying no is bad, and that pushing back is disrespectful, we teach them to distrust their inner compass.

Because the truth is, some of the most important moments in life require the courage to take a stand — to speak up, to challenge what feels wrong, to stay rooted in who we are even when it’s uncomfortable...

And that kind of bravery starts early, when they are allowed to use their voice without fear of rejection or punishment.

Obedience without UNDERSTANDING is hollow, performative, and ultimately meaningless.
It teaches children to comply, not to reflect… And that’s not how common sense - let alone wisdom - is built.

I once came across a quote that stuck with me:
“Never feel sorry for raising dragon slayers in a time where there are actual dragons.”
And it made perfect sense.

In the world we live in, we need to raise kids who know how to think — not just how to follow...
So they can grow into adults who know when to concede — and when to lead. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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07/05/2025

Refreshing insight ❤️❤️❤️

It’s easy to focus on the visible wins - grades, good behaviour, achievement, success. And yes, those matter to some. But they’re not the foundation...

They’re the byproducts.

When a child feels safe, deeply loved, and rooted in their own worth, those external goals come easier. They don’t have to hustle for validation - they show up from wholeness.

To get there, we have to shift the focus.
Less control, more connection.
Less pressure, more presence.
Less fixing, more seeing.

Children “become” by being given the space to REMAIN - through being deeply known, accepted, and guided with intention.

So the next time you’re unsure what matters most, come back to this:
Big love. Unwavering values. An unfractured sense of self-worth.

That’s what everything else is built on.
That’s the real gold. ❤️

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07/02/2025

This

06/29/2025

Wow. Some good thoughts here. This is a hard one! Whether in their homes, schools, friend groups, sports teams, etc… it is so important that kids learn that they are allowed to have a voice, and to question things that dont feel okay, while still respecting authority/friends/others. It is such a delicate balance, but one that is oh so important to find.

We’re not raising our kids to keep the peace at the expense of their own. Not to shrink themselves to make others comfortable. Not to confuse loyalty with self-abandonment.

Because too many of us were taught that love means tolerating pain — especially when it comes from people who are “supposed” to love us.

But not here.
Not anymore.

In this home, we teach that boundaries are not betrayal — they’re self-respect.
That love isn’t proven by how much hurt you can endure.
That even family must earn trust, not expect it unconditionally.

Our children deserve to know that love should feel safe.
That they are allowed to walk away from what wounds them — even if it comes wrapped in family ties.
That they are not here to make others comfortable.
They’re here to be whole.

We do things differently now — because the cost of repeating old patterns is too high.

And our children are worth more than that. ❤️

Quote Credit: .resources ❣️

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06/14/2025

A friend shared this today and it is oh so good!

We are told to praise children for being easy, quiet, obedient. For doing what they’re told without question. For not making a fuss, not speaking up, not challenging the rules.

But think about what that looks like in adulthood.

When adults are overly passive, compliant, or disconnected from their own needs — we call it a lack of confidence. We call it people-pleasing. We call it burnout.

We wonder why they can’t speak up in relationships, why they don’t know what they want, why they struggle to set boundaries.

The truth is:
Some of the very traits we reward in children are the ones we end up trying to unlearn in therapy as adults.

Because the goal of childhood isn’t to raise a “good” child by society’s standards.

It’s to raise a whole human.

One who knows their worth.
One who can speak their truth.
One who can say no without guilt and yes without fear.

So when your child challenges you, asks questions, asserts themselves — pause before you shut it down. It might be inconvenient. It might even be uncomfortable. But it’s not bad.

It’s growth.
It’s voice.
It’s exactly what we hope they’ll have as adults.

Let’s stop confusing obedience with goodness.
Let’s raise children we won’t have to help recover later. ❤️

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