MUSE Counseling

04/02/2026

If you feel like the “default parent”… this is for you.

You’re the one remembering everything.
Appointments. School forms. Bedtime routines.
You’re managing the house, the emotions, the logistics…
and somehow still being told to “just ask for help.”

But here’s the part no one talks about:
•It’s not just about help.
•It’s about mental load.
And when one partner carries most of it,
especially in ADHD or high-stress households,
it doesn’t just create burnout…
It creates resentment.

Not because you don’t love your partner.
But because you feel alone in something that was supposed to be shared.
And on the other side?
Your partner might feel confused, shut out, or like they can’t get it right.

This is where so many couples get stuck:
One feels overwhelmed and unseen
The other feels criticized and defeated
And both end up feeling disconnected.

This isn’t a communication problem.
It’s a systems + understanding problem.
When couples start to understand:
•how their brains work
•how responsibilities are actually divided
and how to share the invisible load
…things begin to shift.

You don’t have to keep doing it this way.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and this is exactly the kind of work I do with couples and families.

03/24/2026

“Maybe I should get assessed for ADHD…”

I hear this from women all the time.

Usually it comes after years of:
• feeling overwhelmed but “high functioning”
• being told it’s anxiety, stress, or burnout
• trying harder, pushing through, and still feeling like something isn’t adding up

If you’ve ever had that thought, here’s the truth:

Getting assessed isn’t about putting a label on yourself.

It’s about understanding how your brain works.

A good assessment looks at patterns over time. Things like focus, memory, emotional regulation, and how you function day to day. It often connects dots that have been there for years but never fully explained.

And for a lot of women, that moment is really powerful.

Because it shifts the narrative from:
“Why can’t I just get it together?”
to
“Oh… this makes sense.”

If this is something you’ve been wondering about, you’re not alone in that.

And you don’t have to figure it out by yourself.

03/18/2026

I’ve been seeing a lot of conversation lately about people using AI for therapy.

And I want to say something to both therapists and clients in a really honest, grounded way.

AI can be helpful.
It can give you prompts, coping ideas, and help you think through things.

But it is not therapy.

It doesn’t actually know you.
It can’t see patterns over time in the same way.
It can’t gently challenge you when you’re stuck in a belief that’s hurting you.
And it can’t show up with you in hard, emotional moments and help your nervous system feel safe again.

It also isn’t reliable in high-risk situations, which is really important to understand.

What makes therapy work isn’t just “good advice.”

It’s the relationship.
It’s being seen accurately.
It’s having someone hold space for the parts of you that are hard to say out loud.
It’s repair, trust, and growth over time.

That’s not something a tool can replace.

If you’re a therapist and you’ve felt that little flicker of “what if this replaces me?” — it won’t.

If you’re someone using AI for support, that’s okay.
But you deserve more than surface-level support.

You deserve to be known, understood, and supported by a real human who can walk with you through the hard things.

AI can be a helpful tool.

But therapy is still human work.

03/16/2026

The ADHD Partner vs. The “Manager” Partner Dynamic

One pattern I see often in couples where one partner has ADHD is something that slowly develops over time:
One partner becomes the “manager.”
The other becomes the “managed.”
It usually doesn’t start that way.

At first it looks like small things:
• reminding about appointments
• keeping track of bills
• managing schedules
• following up on unfinished tasks

Over time, the non-ADHD partner starts carrying the mental load of the household.
Not because they want control…
But because things fall apart if they don’t.
Meanwhile the ADHD partner may feel:
• criticized
• micromanaged
• like they can never get it right
And the manager partner often feels:
• overwhelmed
• resentful
• like they have another child instead of a partner

Eventually both people feel misunderstood.
Here’s the important part:
This dynamic is usually not about laziness or control.
It’s about differences in executive functioning and regulation.

When couples understand that the issue is neurological rather than character-based, the conversation shifts from:
"Why won’t you just do it?"
to
"How do we design systems that work for both of our brains?"

Healthy ADHD relationships aren’t built on one partner compensating for the other.
They’re built on awareness, systems, and shared responsibility.

If this dynamic feels familiar in your relationship, you’re not alone. It’s one of the most common patterns I see in couples where ADHD is part of the picture.

03/13/2026

Women with “high-functioning” ADHD often don’t realize ADHD is behind their health issues.

Because many women learn to mask symptoms, ADHD doesn’t always show up as hyperactivity or obvious distraction.

Instead it often shows up in their bodies.
Research has found higher rates of several medical issues in women with ADHD, including:
• Chronic fatigue and burnout:
Constant mental effort to stay organized, remember things, and keep up can leave the nervous system exhausted.
• Hormonal sensitivity:
Many women with ADHD report worse symptoms during PMS, perimenopause, or hormonal shifts because dopamine and estrogen interact.
• Sleep problems:
Delayed sleep phase and insomnia are significantly more common in ADHD brains.
• Autoimmune and inflammatory conditions:
Some studies suggest higher rates of autoimmune disorders and chronic pain conditions.
• Digestive issues:
Stress regulation differences and nervous system dysregulation can affect gut function.
• Migraine and chronic headaches
• Anxiety and trauma overlap:
Women with ADHD are more likely to experience chronic stress and trauma responses from years of masking and being misunderstood.

For many women the story sounds like this:
“I thought I just had anxiety.”
“I thought I was bad at life.”
“I thought I was lazy or overwhelmed.”

But the underlying pattern is often an ADHD nervous system trying to function in environments not designed for it.

When women finally understand the root issue, treatment becomes much more targeted:
✔ nervous system regulation
✔ ADHD-informed therapy
✔ executive functioning strategies
✔ sleep and hormone awareness
✔ reducing shame around “not trying hard enough”

ADHD in women is still widely underdiagnosed, especially in those who are successful, capable, and high achieving on the outside.

But high functioning doesn’t mean low impact.

If you’re a woman who feels like you’re constantly pushing yourself just to keep up, it might be worth looking deeper.

Sometimes the issue isn’t motivation or discipline.

Sometimes it’s an ADHD brain that’s been compensating for years.

03/11/2026

High-functioning ADHD doesn’t just affect focus.

It can also affect sexual behavior.

ADHD brains seek dopamine and stimulation, which can show up as:
• impulsive sexual choices
• high libido
• novelty seeking
• difficulty regulating urges
• shame around sexual behavior

When people understand the brain-based component, they can move away from shame and toward healthier regulation and communication.

Understanding the brain changes the solution.

03/10/2026

Many adults wonder whether their struggles are caused by ADHD, trauma, or both.

The reason it’s confusing is because they can look very similar.

Both ADHD and trauma can involve:
• emotional dysregulation
• difficulty concentrating
• impulsivity
• feeling overwhelmed

But the underlying causes can be very different.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental difference in how the brain regulates attention, motivation, and executive functioning.

Trauma affects the nervous system’s threat detection and survival responses, which can make the brain stay in patterns of hypervigilance, shutdown, or emotional flooding.

And sometimes… people have both.

What matters most is not just identifying the label, but understanding what your nervous system actually needs.

For example:
If ADHD is the main driver → structure, executive function strategies, and ADHD-informed therapy can help.
If trauma is the main driver → nervous system regulation and trauma processing may be more important.
If both are present → treatment often works best when it addresses both brain-based regulation and past experiences.

If you’ve ever wondered why focus, emotions, or relationships feel harder than they should, there may be more than one factor involved.

Understanding the difference can be an important step toward building strategies that actually work for your brain and nervous system.

03/09/2026

Many people think trauma only comes from big, obvious events.

But trauma can also come from experiences like:
• growing up with unpredictable anger
• feeling emotionally dismissed or ignored
• walking on eggshells in your home
• never feeling safe to express your feelings
• constantly being criticized or shamed

Over time, these experiences can teach your nervous system:
“I have to stay on guard.”
That’s why trauma in adulthood often looks like:
• overthinking everything
• difficulty trusting people
• feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions
• shutting down during conflict
• feeling unsafe even when nothing is wrong

Your brain and body adapted to survive.
The patterns that feel frustrating now were once protective strategies.
Healing trauma isn’t about “getting over it.”
It’s about helping your nervous system learn that the present is different from the past.
And that change happens slowly, through safety, awareness, and supportive relationships.

Many people are surprised by what actually counts as trauma.
What’s something you’ve learned about trauma that changed how you see yourself?

03/08/2026

Signs You Might Be a High-Functioning ADHD Parent

You can:
✔ pack lunches
✔ get everyone to school
✔ manage a career
✔ remember your child’s best friend’s birthday
…but somehow you still:
• forget where you put your coffee (again)
• feel mentally exhausted by 10am
• avoid starting simple tasks for hours
• hyperfocus on researching parenting strategies at midnight
• feel like you’re barely holding everything together

People see you as organized and capable.
What they don’t see is the constant mental juggling happening behind the scenes.
High-functioning ADHD often looks like success mixed with silent overwhelm.

You're not broken.
Your brain just works differently.

💬 ADHD parents — what’s something people don’t realize is hard?

03/06/2026

ADHD brain: “Let’s get our life together today.”
Also ADHD brain: opens 14 tabs, starts 3 projects, forgets why we stood up
Anyone else? 😅

03/03/2026

I recently had an amazing opportunity with VoyageRaleigh Magazine to reflect on my professional journey — from the military to private practice, navigating ADHD, building M.U.S.E. Counseling, and my future plans with Everkind Therapy & Wellness.
It’s strange and meaningful to see parts of your story written out. I’m grateful for the growth, the lessons, and the amazing clients who’ve trusted me along the way.

If you’re curious, here’s the interview:

Today we’d like to introduce you to London Mingo. Hi London, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?From a young age, I knew I wanted two things: to […]

01/18/2022

This topic has been coming up a lot lately in my practice and I just felt the need to share this. Gaslighting has become a very popular term, I see and hear it all over. And while most people are pretty good at identifying it, addressing it can be difficult. But here are some definitions and tools that may be helpful.

https://mind.help/topic/gaslighting/ (lot more in depth information here on gaslighting)

www.pesi.com/gaslightsummit (this one is more for other clinicians but I also wanted to give credit for the information below)


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