09/16/2025
One of the most challenging dynamics in relationships is when a partner struggles with self-awareness or self-worth. It’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to “fix” them or point out what they don’t see. But as Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt remind us in Getting the Love You Want (2019), relationships are mirrors. Through the lens of Imago theory, our partners often reflect not only the qualities we admire but also the wounds and unmet needs that we ourselves carry.
When someone struggles to see their value, the most effective response isn’t correction—it’s connection. Imago dialogue teaches us to approach with empathy, curiosity, and acceptance. Instead of saying, “You need to change,” we can ask, “How does this feel for you?” or “What do you need most right now?” These small shifts invite reflection rather than resistance.
The truth is... You can’t force someone to see themselves clearly. But you can create a compassionate space that helps them feel safe enough to look in the mirror. Over time, that safety becomes the foundation for awareness, growth, and healing.
