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https://couragecounseling.services/

Courage Counseling & Consulting LLC, Jasper, AL (2025)

10/03/2024

Learning is the most important goal of therapy. You may learn about:

-yourself
-how your history has impacted your personality and life
-a mental health or learning condition that may impact you
-skills for managing stress, anxiety, anger, etc.
-how to communicate in ways that improve the quality of your relationships
-new perspectives and sources of motivation
-many other things

I spend every day trying to facilitate learning in my client's lives as they seek to improve their mental health and cope with various challenges. Application is an essential step in learning that we often forget. Below are a couple of thoughts that you can apply to any type of learning you are doing.

Initial learning: "Ah yes, I understand. I like that."
Application: "What does this mean for me now? How do I have to change to accommodate what I am learning?"

Take courage!

~Isaiah

10/01/2024

I have another great book recommendation for you today!

Limitless by Jim Kwik is an excellent read about how to take full advantage of your brain's ability. Jim suffered a traumatic brain injury as a child and had challenges with learning all through school despite his desire to do well. In Limitless, he describes his journey of learning to learn despite his challenges as well as many of the tools he used to do so. He is now a learning and memory coach, teaching others to do what he once couldn't. The book is worth a read if only for an inspiring story.

Take courage!

09/12/2024

This is not a statistic that any of us wants on our social feeds today, but it's an important one. Su***de prevention week is dedicated to raising awareness about su***de and helping people understand what they can do for people in their lives who consider su***de. The Infograph above shows 3 great steps to take if someone you love may be considering su***de.

1. Ask
Talking about su***de is very uncomfortable for many people and the reasons for this discomfort are numerous. Try reading this question out loud and see how it feels: "Sometimes when people are struggling as much as you are right now they think about su***de. Do you ever think about killing yourself?" Did you feel some tension? Likely so. This is understandable because this is a heavy topic. Some people even fear that trying to initiate a conversation about su***de directly will plant the option in someone's head. (research has demonstrated repeatedly that this is almost never, if ever, the case) This is probably not a question that you would want to ask a stranger on the street. But it's a question that could help save a friend or family member's life.

2. Listen
Being willing to sit with someone who is hurting and listen to them is one of the most generous (and helpful) things that you can do. Pain has a way of making us feeling isolated from others. Love and friendship have a way of making us feel better. Even if you have nothing of great value to say, your listening may do a lot.

3. Encourage them to seek help
If someone shares with you that they are considering su***de please encourage them to seek help. You may even assist them in the process of finding a therapist, faith leader, or health professional to talk to. If you are not equipped to help the person yourself you can still help a great deal by helping them find someone who can.

Take courage!

~Isaiah

09/10/2024

I had a counseling professor in college who taught that having suicidal thoughts was normal. I remember thinking he was demented the first time I heard him talk about it. He explained that we are all wired to avoid pain. When we feel it we immediately seek options for feeling better. He described that considering su***de as one of these options often makes sense to people who are in tremendous pain of one kind or another.

I although I don't agree fully with my professor's perspectives on su***de I do think they bring up an important point. The most common thing that I hear from people wrestling with suicidal thoughts is some form of: "it's not that I want to die; I just don't want to be here." They simply want to be out of the pain that they're in.

There will be at least a few people who read this post who are unsure whether their life is worth living. And maybe the life you are living now is not. But what if you could live a life worth living? This is the thought that can keep you alive another day.

Please don't suffer in silence. Reach out to those in your life who you can trust or a mental health professional. No matter who you are, you can live a life worth living.

Take Courage!

~Isaiah

08/27/2024

With school back in session I have heard a lot of school stories over the past couple weeks. (the good, the bad, the ugly) These have been a good reminder to me of the tremendous impact teachers have on the development of young people.

Teachers, you are perfectly positioned to encourage the most discouraged among us. Thank you for doing this every day! Here's some encouragement for you too: what you do matters so much to our communities and to our future.

Tag a teacher you love below!

Take courage!

~Isaiah

08/15/2024

There is a lot of talk in the world of therapy and self-help about the concept of self-care. Self-care is important in that the way we treat ourselves and our bodies has a tremendous impact on our mental health. Eating a cleaner diet and exercising can absolutely help improve depressive symptoms. Identifying and taking time to engage in activities that make us feel calm can absolutely help us cope with anxiety. There are many possible examples of how taking care of ourselves can improve our mental health.

However, it seems that sometimes the concept of self-care is used to suggest that a mentally healthy life is a self-focused one. "I'll take care of myself and if there is any energy left over I will help others." But as Tolstoy encourages (and a large body of social science research echos) the most self-focused person in the room is rarely, if ever, truly the happiest. The greatest satisfaction actually comes in our giving and our contribution. For this reason one of the greatest things we can do to improve our mental health and life satisfaction is to get clear on the ways we want to serve others and the contribution we want to make in our families and communities.

What do we want our lives to represent? What is our contribution?

Take courage!

~Isaiah

08/13/2024

When someone we care about shares something challenging about their life with us it can be difficult to know how to respond. Many of us are compelled to go straight into "fix it mode", offering advice and possible solutions. Others will try to empathize with the person, offer sympathy, or give a hug or pat on the shoulder. The truth is that each of these responses could be perfect. And each of them could be completely unhelpful. The question is: what does this person need from me right now?

I was reading a great article by Janice Dunn this week (link at the end of the post) where she was interviewing teachers about starting the new school year. When she asked one teacher how she dealt with students getting overwhelmed, the teacher replied with the question quoted above: do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?

While I'm sure this is great question to use with kids, it's a pretty good one for anyone we love. It's important that we don't assume that others need what we would need if we were in their situation. Why don't you test this question out the next time someone you care about comes to you with something difficult and see how it goes?

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/07/well/emotions-support-relationships.html

Take courage!

~Isaiah

08/08/2024

I talk to a lot of discouraged young people in my work. Many of them believe on some level that they are not enough or don't have what it takes. Our culture sends subtle messages to all of us that we have to be perfectly attractive, perfectly brilliant, perfectly skilled, or universally accepted by others in order to be worth anything. We all have felt the pressure of these messages and we all respond to the pressure in different ways. When 'perfect' is the goal, anxiety and discouragement are the logical outcomes. We will either 'hustle' to be as perfect as possible or we will feign helplessness/incompetence, refusing to change or grow.

As parents, family members, teachers, and "village member's" it is important that we combat the perfection mindset in the young people we care about. Instead, we want to help cultivate a growth mindset. A growth mindset does not expect perfection out of self or others and believes that abilities and knowledge can be developed through consistency, learning, and practice. It focuses on the process of growth rather than the outcome of perfection.

Growth mindsets are cultivated through encouragement from others, experiences of success as the result of dedication and practice, and a helpful perspective on failure. When a child fails or does not get something right, our response is of great importance. Responses that support the development of growth mindsets focus on the courage it takes to try something new, the great effort the child has put forth, and the hope of improvement through practice and learning.

"Everyone struggles with something new sometimes."

"You have worked really hard at this and you have really improved since the first time!"

"Wow! It takes a lot of guts to try something you know you can't get perfect!"

"Practice makes progress!"

Take courage!

~Isaiah

08/06/2024

One of my mom's favorite catch phrases when I was a kid was, "you need an attitude adjustment". It was applied to misbehavior, arguments with my sister, and 'sass' among other things. At that time I found this advice highly unhelpful and irritating.

One day a few years ago I was in graduate school listening to a lecture about helping people recover from depression, anxiety, trauma, and related issues. The professor talked about the concept of helping people mentally reconceptualize their lives and experiences in more accurate and helpful ways. This is just a fancy way to say adjusting attitudes and beliefs we hold about ourselves, others, and the world that distort the way we feel about our lives.

Although I was unable to appreciate it as a child, it turns out that my mother's exhortation "adjust your attitude" is in fact some of the best advice out there. (although difficult to apply if you don't know how) This is the spirit of the Viktor Frankl quote above. I cannot always chose my circumstances. I cannot always chose my feelings. But I can always chose my attitude.

If you feel stuck in a lifestyle of negative attitudes and perspectives it is not likely that this will change in a day or without help. If you are ready to make a change, reach out for support and guidance.

Take courage!

~Isaiah

08/01/2024

Today I wanted to highlight a truly thought-provoking and inspiring book for my readers and audiobook listeners out there: Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.

Viktor Frankl was a Jewish Psychiatrist who lived through most of the 20th century. He worked primarily with patients intent on su***de until he was forced in his early 30's to move into Theresienstadt concentration camp during the N**i invasion of Austria. Frankl spent the next four years in Theresienstadt and other camps like it, witnessing the brutality, forced labor, and murder that routinely took place. He used this time of tremendous fear and suffering to continue to learn about human nature as he had before it. Man's Search for Meaning was born of what he learned during this time.

Most notably, Frankl observed that prisoners who had a reason to live were able to endure forced labor loads that were truly beyond human ability. He describes how he often saw people die as soon as they had lost this reason to live. Frankl's perspectives about finding meaning in the midst of suffering have been invaluable to me and I hope they will help some of you as well. This book is a great compliment to our recent posts about human motivation.

Take courage!

~Isaiah

07/30/2024

In our last post we started a conversation about the 3 primary sources of human motivation 1)pain, 2)pleasure, and 3)meaning. That post talked about using rewards for motivation. If you missed it scroll back before reading here.

The final (and my personal favorite) source of human motivation is meaning. Being motivated by meaning means being clear on why you do what you do and having that "why" be in line with what matters most to you. A person who struggles with a substance-use problem may use their value for their relationships as a source of motivation to change. A person might use their love for their children as motivation to improve their health. A person might engage in a spiritual discipline because of their value for their spiritual life or faith. Meanings that provide motivation are as diverse as the people who hold them.

If we feel unmotivated towards a task or goal it may be because we have become disconnected from our reasons. We need to get clear on why we do what we do both so we can be more motivated and also so we can eliminate things from our lives that do not hold meaning for us. This practice of remembering and reevaluating is what living a focused, purposeful, and meaningful life is all about.

So, what is your "why" that can help you bear the "how"?

Take Courage!

~Isaiah

07/25/2024

Many of my clients talk about lacking motivation for one thing or another. Whether we need motivation to study, increase our productivity, or to put up the laundry, motivation fails us all at times.

Humans are primarily motivated by 3 things: 1)pleasure, 2)pain, and 3)meaning.

Pleasure and pain are pretty self-explanatory. These forms of motivation can be easily seen in most conventional parenting methods. The "carrot and the stick" if you will. If a parent wants to motivate their child towards good behavior they typically offer them a treat or threaten them with a punishment.

Half the battle of managing motivation in our lives is learning to harness the power of pleasure and pain. Let's start with pain.

It has been demonstrated in many studies and many forms of research that reinforcement (pleasure) is a more powerful motivator than punishment (pain). So it is not recommended that you try to punish yourself for procrastination. However, it is helpful to remember that procrastination comes with its own punishment and pain. The longer I wait to get this done, the more stress and the longer I experience it. The longer I wait on this laundry, the larger the pile gets and the more time it will take me to do it when I get to it. Harnessing the power of pain in motivation means reminding myself that I will suffer less if I tackle this now rather than later.

Harnessing the power of pleasure means finding rewards to motivate me towards task completion. If you need motivation to study, you might want to create some rules to support your motivation. For example, think about the things you will enjoy doing today. These might include eating some chocolate, texting a friend, or playing a video game. These are the pleasures you will use for motivation. Your rule might be that 30 minutes of studying will earn you some chocolate, 15 minutes of gaming, etc. You will use something you enjoy to reward yourself for doing something that you feel unmotivated to do. This will seem strange to some of you at first but it becomes more natural with time.

I will talk about the 3rd source of human motivation, meaning, in our next post.

Take courage!

~Isaiah

Courage Counseling & Consulting LLC

10/03/2024

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Monday	8am - 5am
Tuesday	8am - 5pm
Wednesday	8am - 5pm
Thursday	8am - 5pm