08/08/2024
I talk to a lot of discouraged young people in my work. Many of them believe on some level that they are not enough or don't have what it takes. Our culture sends subtle messages to all of us that we have to be perfectly attractive, perfectly brilliant, perfectly skilled, or universally accepted by others in order to be worth anything. We all have felt the pressure of these messages and we all respond to the pressure in different ways. When 'perfect' is the goal, anxiety and discouragement are the logical outcomes. We will either 'hustle' to be as perfect as possible or we will feign helplessness/incompetence, refusing to change or grow.
As parents, family members, teachers, and "village member's" it is important that we combat the perfection mindset in the young people we care about. Instead, we want to help cultivate a growth mindset. A growth mindset does not expect perfection out of self or others and believes that abilities and knowledge can be developed through consistency, learning, and practice. It focuses on the process of growth rather than the outcome of perfection.
Growth mindsets are cultivated through encouragement from others, experiences of success as the result of dedication and practice, and a helpful perspective on failure. When a child fails or does not get something right, our response is of great importance. Responses that support the development of growth mindsets focus on the courage it takes to try something new, the great effort the child has put forth, and the hope of improvement through practice and learning.
"Everyone struggles with something new sometimes."
"You have worked really hard at this and you have really improved since the first time!"
"Wow! It takes a lot of guts to try something you know you can't get perfect!"
"Practice makes progress!"
Take courage!
~Isaiah
