29/08/2025
Surrendering to the wild.
Contractions started out of no where at exactly 1055. I know the time because I was doing work on my phone while I waited for my Midwife at the office. "You could be in labor for several hours" she said after I told her I felt contractions. But I went home instead of going to my next appt.
Contractions changed within the hour from me walking it off, to stopping and swaying back and forth, to laying down and resting all within moments. My mind during this whole time went back and forth from logical to surrender. "Contractions shouldnt be getting this strong, this quick" vs "Trust yourself"
Finally my husband came then my doula. My husband and doula did sacral compressions and hip squeezes. She cued me to let go- I moaned and cursed. Time to go the hospital. Moaned and cursed more in the car. I was still in doubt that labor would be quick "would i have to do this for 12 hours?" I naively asked my doula, "no..." was all i heard loudly in my head, and it was that moment I believed I was in transition. I was thankful that when I arrived at the hospital, my next contraction was in the elevator. I laugh thinking about how I screamed in the elevator and in between the poor nurse was trying to make small talk in between to lighten the mood.
1:55 I made it into triage. "Fully dilated, bulging bag" they rushed me to the labor room. " Dont push yet" I was able to breathe through one. The next came, I pushed, I was crowning. Next push, he was earthside. 2:05pm
"OH MY GOSH, that was wild"I cried. And then I met my wild little baby- who kicked me throughout all of my pregnancy, who sat deep into my pelvis since 20 weeks, who could not wait to come and meet his family.
And I owe a lot to my husband, and who helped me trust myself again throughout labor.
