11/10/2019
Transition into adulthood: Advice to parents of teens living with developmental disabilities.
Every parent/guardian of an individual living with a developmental disability who will be graduating soon from high school has a very daunting job ahead. The future of your child and his/her happiness is very important to you. Navigating the new challenges away from the all-inclusive and familiar educational system could become challenging. As an adult, many of the support and services your child was receiving in school will not necessarily follow them into adulthood. Therefore it is important to educate yourself as a parent or guardian on what's next for your soon to be adult child. But most importantly, educate yourself on what your child really wants in life and what makes him/her happy, what are his/her goals and what is he/she is really good at. This is a transition that is tough for any parents but more so for parents of children living with developmental disabilities.
Parents are so used to make decisions for their children that it is very difficult for them to think of their child as an adult once they turn 21. You dedicated your life to protecting your child and supporting him/her and fighting the systems to get them the best help possible and support them to be as independent and as safe as possible in a world where they are not often accepted.
However, As a support coordination director, I notice that many parents or guardians are not aware of what it means that their child is now considered an adult. When a support coordination agency is assigned to an individual, the support coordinator has to develop a plan that reflects the needs and goals of the individual. The New Jersey Individualized Service Plan is a person-centered document, therefore it must reflect the needs and goals of the individual and not the parents. Therefore, my advice to parents and guardians is to start practicing talking to your soon to be adult teen about their goals for the future. If your child is not able to express those feelings, then start getting into the habit of making decisions for your child with the thought of them as an adult with their own goals and aspiration away from yourself. One example is that many parents of individuals with developmental disabilities can not imagine their child living away from them but often that is a goal that young adults have and often these goals are reachable. Many adults with developmental disabilities want to live in their own place, away from mom and dad or guardian. Of course, this is not for everyone but it is a goal that parents should start thinking about and see the possibilities of allowing it and supporting it.
