09/09/2025
When I see this person, First I laugh, then I cringe...
This guy was a lot of fun, until he wasn’t.
And when he wasn’t, he was scary.
Folks often ask me why I live the way I live today, and it’s because of the way I lived for so long that is giving me the opportunity to live the way I do now.
This guy was really great and making people laugh and love themselves and feel good about themselves.
But just like with Robin Williams, and so many others, that attempt to make others feel good about themselves was an attempt to make up for the fact that he did not feel good about himself as well.
The problem is, it never worked.
His insecurities, his perceived inadequacies, his anxiety, depression, his fear of the future, and resentment and regret of the past his awkwardness all progressively got worse and worse, and he survived by numbing more and more.
By making superficial changes in life instead of the real ones within required..
I thank God today, for that journey, because if I had never gone through those steps, I never would’ve been able to take these steps today.
To shatter the delusion that I hid behind, that because I was a nice guy, because I was pleasing to those around me, made them feel good about themselves, because I didn’t kill bugs, and loved animals.. that because I laughed a lot and helped others laugh a lot too, that I was a good person, that everything was ok...
Even though the thoughts and feelings underneath and behaviors suggested otherwise.
They always say that wisdom is wasted on the youth…
The thing is, it’s only in the journey from youth to seniority that we get that experiential wisdom, combined with cognitive understanding, we hope we just get there before we cause too much detriment to our self and to those around us.
CONTINUED IN COMMENTS..
