Michael B Wathen, LCPC, CAADC

05/29/2024

Your life is happening now and your worth is already here. 🤍

05/28/2024

I tell clients often: therapy itself will not heal you, but the therapeutic relationship here can, or the relationship you build with yourself, your body, mind, and spirit, your relationships with others, and your relationship with the past, present, and future.

Relational context is where healing takes place. Vulnerable connection is where we mend and restore.

In fact, recent research confirmed that certain brain waves associated with repair and healing are activated only when you’re in the company of people with whom you have strong, safe, and emotionally intimate relationships.

Anyone can access these beneficial brain waves by learning to cultivate and sustain healthy intimate relationships where mutual healing takes place.
 
Do you have access to this form of connection?

Can you easily engage in healing with the people in your life?

Do you have emotionally safe relationships?

E.g., open communication, mutual respect, trust and reliability, support and empathy, conflict resolution, acceptance and appreciation, safety and accountability, etc.

05/18/2024

05/15/2024

What does it mean to grapple with stubbornness? It often arises from an underlying wound of insecurity, stemming from a past trauma that has left us with a subconscious conviction of superiority. Paradoxically, this feeling of superiority is a defense mechanism against our deep-seated insecurities. Typically, it surfaces most prominently when we encounter situations involving admiration or competition.

In the realm of stubbornness, the primary battleground is often decision-making and the need to be right. The driving force behind this behavior is the belief, “I am always right.” Yet, beneath this facade of certainty lies the struggle with pride. Individuals entrenched in pride and stubbornness may have made strides in developing their self-esteem, but they stand on the brink of true self-esteem without fully embracing accountability.

Pride, at its core, is flawed. It blinds us to our vulnerabilities, preventing us from acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers. There’s a fear that admitting ignorance or accepting occasional wrongness will shatter our sense of self, leaving us feeling inadequate and untrustworthy. This fear triggers a cascade of self-judgment, criticism, and ultimately, self-rejection, plunging us back into the depths of our original trauma.

This cycle is what’s commonly referred to as “pride before the fall.” We plummet from the heights of self-assurance to the depths of self-rejection, forcing us to embark on the arduous journey of rebuilding our self-esteem from scratch. However, there’s a way to break this cycle: embracing accountability before pride takes hold.

By acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers and accepting our vulnerabilities with compassion and courage, we can evade the grip of pride and sustain genuine self-esteem. This journey towards accountability is not easy, but it’s essential for our growth and well-being. 🤍

05/14/2024

The “let them” theory is foundational to understanding and improving relationships. At its core lies the recognition that individuals inherently act according to their own desires, needs, and behavioral patterns. Expecting people to change or attempting to control outcomes is not only futile but also detrimental to the quality of our relationships.

Detachment, often misunderstood as indifference or apathy, is actually a source of inner peace and clarity. It involves acknowledging our care and love for others while relinquishing the illusion of control over their actions. By accepting that people will inevitably follow their own inclinations, we free ourselves from overthinking and unnecessary stress.

This newfound freedom enables us to make decisions about the dynamics we desire in our relationships. Instead of fixating on predetermined outcomes, we can channel our energy into choices aligned with our preferences and values. Detachment allows us to let go of the need for control or the expectation for others to change.

It’s important to note that detachment does not mean we stop caring about others. On the contrary, it involves caring deeply while recognizing our limitations in influencing others. By embracing the mantra of “let them,” we allow individuals the agency to act according to their will.

While practicing detachment can be challenging, the benefits are profound. It fosters deeper connections based on mutual respect and acceptance. By letting go of the need for control, we create space for authentic relationships to flourish.

In conclusion, detachment is essential for enhancing relationship enjoyment. By accepting the autonomy of others and freeing ourselves from the burden of control, we pave the way for genuine connections and fulfillment in our relationships. Therefore learning the detachment above all else is an act of love.