07/25/2025
The child who exaggerates their injury may not be “overreacting”—they may be testing to see if someone will finally offer comfort without question.
The “dramatic” one may not be seeking a spotlight, but simply trying to be seen in a family where they often feel invisible.
The child who always insists on going first might not be selfish—they may have internalized the message that their needs only matter when they're loud and immediate.
The one who lies about their abilities or constantly seeks praise? They may be struggling to feel worthy without external validation.
And the child who lashes out—hurting siblings, pushing buttons, escalating conflicts—may be acting out their inner chaos: bullied at school, overwhelmed by change, or carrying emotions too big for their little body to hold.
Here's the truth: Kids don’t enjoy “attention-seeking.” They do it because somewhere along the way, they learned attention is the only path to their needs being noticed—let alone met.
As adults, many of us carry the emotional echoes of these experiences. We may now overwork, overeat, over-apologize, people-please, lie about being okay, or reach for substances—not because we’re weak, but because once upon a time, our survival depended on adaptive strategies that are now hurting us.
But healing is possible. It begins when we stop criticizing the behavior and start getting curious about the unmet need. When we offer ourselves the compassion we were once denied. When we learn to sit with discomfort instead of silencing it.
You were never too needy. You were asking to be noticed, to be loved, to be safe. And you still deserve all of that now.
