08/02/2025
2025_08_01 I just pick some colors and slap 'em down in books that aren't for painting.
Do you know how hard it was for the Virgo sun part of me to LET GO! And damn, if she wasn't excited by the rebellion of co-creating art with words by painting in a book (omg, I haven't read it; chosen at random at the thrift store 🫣).
The other is an ancient B&N sketchbook with one billion pages 🤣, I have literally moved it since 2001-ish. How has it not molded? Why have I kept it? It's daunting white, blank pages secretly laughing at me, now sighing as its parched paper tastes acrylic, tempra & who knows what else will flow into it.
Is there a theme here? Yes, yes there is. Things are always on purpose. I'm releasing the tension in myself of my ancestors, of my lineage, of my life. You cannot flow in tension! Is it possible that life is working with and for you when your body, your nervous system, doesn't believe? Yes & no . . .
We also lost our beloved cat, Kaya, on 7/21/25. 😭😮💨 Reminding myself it's a completion year. This one hit hard. Often when I walk the dogs alone, I'm overcome with sadness at our loss of her. I keep seeing myself wearing a T-shirt that says "I'm sad. My cat died." With the sketch of a cat with Xs for eyes.
I painted it out today. I didn't know that's what that slap of wet paint would become, but there it is. And the mouse rejoices, for the cat was gone, "This cheese is mine, bi***es!" 🧀🐀
Either I'm a f**king genius, or I'm losing my mind 🤣😂💖☠️😭