01/06/2025
Playing the Long Game in Family Work
When I work with families, I focus on the long game—helping loved ones build skills, resilience, and insight over time. While minimizing behaviors often come from good intentions, they can unintentionally reinforce avoidance and block self-awareness.
For example, a parent reminding their child to do homework every day may seem helpful in the moment, but it removes the child’s chance to recognize important patterns. They miss learning that they may struggle with managing time, prioritizing tasks, or focusing independently. It also denies them the opportunity to experience natural consequences—like a poor grade—and to problem-solve what works best for them to stay on track.
Problem-solving isn’t just about completing tasks—it can also help the child gain insight into deeper challenges that might need treatment, such as ADHD or anxiety. As they begin to recognize these struggles, they may become more motivated to seek and engage in treatment opportunities.
Additionally, stepping back lowers family tension, as constant reminders can lead the adolescent to feel frustrated or upset, believing the parent doesn’t trust them to handle their own responsibilities.
This process often involves trial and error, but adolescence is the perfect time to learn these skills—when the stakes are lower—rather than waiting until they lose a job or fall behind in college.
By stepping back and allowing this growth, families empower their loved ones to take responsibility, learn, and thrive—one step at a time.
Would love to hear your thoughts or experiences with this!
