Our Life, With a Touch of Purple

08/18/2025

To those I love,

I want to speak plainly, without pretense or performance. What I’m about to say isn’t easy to hear, but it is mine to say — and yours to receive with the same honesty I’ve given it.

Something has come up in my recent labs. A small thing — an elevated number, an early whisper — but in my body, it could mean something far louder.

As many of you know, I’ve already fought this war once before. Hodgkin’s lymphoma, Stage IV. It had spread to my bone marrow and spleen. My body could no longer make red blood cells. I lived through nine months of brutal treatment — every Monday and Wednesday — pumped full of poisons that nearly killed me in order to save me.

And it worked. For a time.

But now, I fear it may be coming back. And this time, the road ahead is even more uncertain. The treatments would be harder, the risks greater. My marrow is not what it once was. My body is not what it once was.

And so I have made my decision:

I will not fight it again.

This is not surrender. This is not giving up. This is choosing how I will live, and how I will die — on my feet, not in a bed; in my own voice, not silenced by tubes and protocols; with fire in my soul, not numbness in my veins.

I will work as hard as I can. I will live as fiercely as I can. I will make meaning in every moment I have left. But I will not spend what time remains trying to buy more time.

Please understand: this is not just about me. I will not allow anyone else to carry the weight of this with me. You have your own lives, your own joys, your own paths to walk. I will not be a burden. That is not how I want to be remembered.

I know this may hurt. I know some of you will want to fight for me, or with me. But this is my boundary. This is my peace. Please respect my will in this.

There will be no drama, no announcements, no countdown. Just me, living — until I no longer can.

And when that time comes, I hope you’ll remember me not for how I died, but for how I chose to live when it mattered most.

With love, always —
Thom

08/30/2023

The port is out!

08/30/2023

Port out day!

07/29/2023

Thom’s tattoo, a work in progress.

07/29/2023

We visited our tattoo studio yesterday, and Thom got a beautiful forearm sleeve to commemorate all that he has been through. As you would expect, it is full of symbolism

The purple banner is for surviving Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. This is the only one of Thom’s tattoos that has color in it.

The skull is for dodging death.

The pocket watch shows the time of his birth, and the Roman numeral for 4 was changed from IV to IIII to match his grandmother’s antique clock

The raven symbolizes knowledge

The rosary is for our Catholic faith

The banner reads “Tempus fugit, momento mori” which is Latin for “Time flies, remember death” a reminder that our time on earth is finite and to make the most of our time here.

Thank you to Frank at Purgatory Tattoos! Your work is phenomenal!

07/28/2023

Someone went to get his first haircut yesterday! Not only is he a rockstar for overcoming Hodgkin’s, he’s pretty darn handsome too! 💜💜💜

07/25/2023

Nine months ago Thom was worried that he was going to be too sick and miss out on a
second summer in a row.

Six round of chemo later, Thom is cancer free and we got to go on a summer adventure.

F**k you cancer, we win.

06/21/2023

06/20/2023

Getting back to normal, or should we say figuring out what our new normal is? Thom and I traveled to Tennessee last week for my sister’s wedding. It was the first time stepped foot into his office at St Jude Children’s Research Hospital in about nine months. His coworkers could hardly recognize him! Thom has so much energy now, he is constantly in motion. His hair is starting to grow back in, it appears to be about the same color as pre-chemo, maybe a little darker. If his mustache is any indicator, it seems to have a wave or maybe even a curl to it.

My sister’s wedding was absolutely beautiful. I am so happy we were able to go. Eight months ago we weren’t so sure, but we were there cancer free and dancing the night away.

05/25/2023

I finally decided what to do with Thom’s mug!!!

05/14/2023

Pictures of the mug before and after.