Thomas W. Scott

02/26/2025

Went out for a walk, woke up in a strange new land.

02/25/2025

We live in a time where self-help books, gurus, influencers, and experts expound, “If you follow these step-by-step methods, mindsets, behaviors, and beliefs things will get better.” Well, things were better this morning till a young man turned in front of me, forcing me to lock my brakes, sending a steamy stream of un-lidded hot chocolate into my half-ass effective phone charger, positioned right behind the cup holder. Well, if this is the worst thing that happens to me between nine and noon, I’m lucky.

As a psychotherapist for the past 40 years, I’m beginning to accept that everything can’t be brought under my control. And that letting go takes a lot of practice. Loosening our clench is so important cognitively, emotionally, and physically because our body truly does present its bill. In moments of resolute clarity, I ask myself how I should live between nine and noon. I find it best not to extrapolate questions too far into the future.

For me, the questions are often more useful than the answers. Most answers/justice we seek will never be solved or resolved. Because that was then, and this is now. Sorry, Chat GPT. At least Siri admits when she/he or they don’t know something. We humans are solution-oriented. Acceptance might just have to replace solutions. And if answers do surface, we often don’t like them.

So, we’re instructed to “Just let it go.”… “Pray it away.” Unfortunately, this hasn’t panned out too well for the Ukrainians. I’ve recently accepted the fact that no cologne could have kept Mary Brooks from dumping me in fourth grade for this troll named Fred. Son-of-a- bitch held her hand on the playground. I’m sure she’s still regretting her relational misstep to this day.

Sometimes we need to learn how to play in the rubble. I can never undo my fourth-grade devastation, but I can accept it and adjust. We suffer when we are constantly searching for a way out. I’ve learned that moving forward is the only way for me. Much good still lies ahead.

“Perfect”? I Don’t Think So. There is a universal saying amongst today’s young adults. And that saying is “Perfect.” I’m perfectly sure that nobody or anything is ever truly perfect. When I order an entrée at a restaurant and the server says “perfect,” I think to myself, how could...

02/18/2025

“Perfect”? I Don’t Think So.

There is a universal saying amongst today’s young adults. And that saying is “Perfect.” I’m perfectly sure that nobody or anything is ever truly perfect.

When I order an entrée at a restaurant and the server says “perfect,” I think to myself, how could that be? What if I change my mind and opt for lasagna rather than meatballs? Do the meatballs and my once-skilled decision get demoted less than perfect?

One thing I work on and try to impart to others is that it’s “perfectly” acceptable to be okay, not bad, or pretty good. I don’t like hanging around “perfect” people. They make me feel, well, so imperfect.

I’m always a bit thrown off when I ask someone how they are doing in passing, and they respond with something along the lines of: “Fantastic, terrific, awesome, couldn’t be better.” I think woah- what are they on, or what are they denying? I quickly turn to see if it’s their shoes, or scent that keeps their terrific-ness intact.

Anxiety is at an all-time high in this country. Anxiety is uncertainty. It’s the unknown. How often does the future (the unknown) poison our present mood and outlook for today? And “what if” we’re not prepared to handle what’s next? Well, you’ll never know till you cross that bridge.

The laws of physics are both exact and unpredictable. There’s no guarantee that we won’t be hit by lightning or sucked into a sinkhole. Worrying about the future does not bring this under our control- just think of how some of us have become such good worriers nowadays. I once read that “worry” is humankind’s civilized form of voodoo. Instead of worrying, imagine spending that same amount of time developing, to then install a basic faith in our capacity to handle whatever’s next.

We can learn to stock, discard, and re-stock our inner resources so whatever is next is just that. We can’t climb a ladder and peer into the future to be sure that life is safe and sound.

I say: bring it on. Whatever next, is well, what’s next. We can handle it since we’ve already made it through 100% of our worst days. Not a bad percentage.

“Perfect”? I Don’t Think So. There is a universal saying amongst today’s young adults. And that saying is “Perfect.” I’m perfectly sure that nobody or anything is ever truly perfect. When I order an entrée at a restaurant and the server says “perfect,” I think to myself, how could...

11/05/2024

Well I voted. But I won’t divulge who I voted for. But I’ll give you a hint. 1. I thought for myself. It wasn’t based on “who my spouse tells me to vote for.” 2. I did not vote with the idea of protecting my “bountiful” portfolio. 3. I considered the women in my life, wife, daughter, daughter-in-laws, grand daughters etc. 4. I considered the planet and what we plan on leaving our children’s children. 5. I voted not to protect a pompous “I’m so exclusive I’m going to privatize my life” mentality. And yes I’m proud to be a certain type of American where we treat everyone with a natural kindness, dignity and respect, not some petty, sniveling, air of dismissive distain that has a tendency to rot out out peoples lives. ✌️🙏👍🏼🙃