06/23/2024
I feel more misunderstood now than at any time in my life. I look back and realize this has plagued me most of my life. My sense of humor, honesty, thought process, personhood, and bluntness set me apart. It was easier when I saw myself as chosen and anointed by God. I arrogantly just saw everyone as not being on my level or frequency to understand. I don't know specifically why I am the way I am. I do know it started with my mother. 1. She laughed at everything I did when I was being silly and trying to make her laugh. 2. She told me to speak my mind and tell the truth. These things have backfired on me in this life. I don't know any other way to be.
Being shot through the face has left me with speech issues, that have brought on an unfamiliar insecurity. This on top of my plight of already being misunderstood doesn't help. I am angrier, impatient, and drained from my daily human interactions. Not that everyone presents this experience, it's only a small portion of people in my daily interaction that don't make me feel this way.
I've learned that the misunderstanding comes from the lack of attentively listening to people. We tend to hear from our perception vs actually listening to what a person is saying. These damn phones, social media, and all of these distractions have made us so disconnected. No one owes you anything, but it sure be nice if we could take the time to really understand people. We all have different experiences, knowledge, and expertise. We can't assume we're all experiencing life the same. I'm done. You can only control what you can control and really that's only you.
