Michael Shahan - LMFT

Michael Shahan - LMFT Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Trauma and Enneagram focused. Always healing; Already whole.

I love the Enneagram. I use it in my therapy practice. I’ve seen it transform people’s self-awareness, relationships, an...
09/12/2025

I love the Enneagram. I use it in my therapy practice. I’ve seen it transform people’s self-awareness, relationships, and growth.
But sometimes… I also hate it.

The Enneagram can be incredibly powerful, but only when we treat it as a tool for reflection and growth, not as a set of stereotypes to fit into or excuses to hide behind.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated by how the Enneagram is talked about online, you’re not alone. The work is deeper than memes, quizzes, and catchphrases (even though those have their place and can be fun.) It’s really about discovering yourself, beyond the surface.

Friendly reminder: you are not your Enneagram number.It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking your type defines who y...
09/10/2025

Friendly reminder: you are not your Enneagram number.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking your type defines who you are or even who you should be. Maybe you’ve heard that Type 1s are perfectionists, Type 2s are selfless, or Type 7s are always chasing fun.

And yes, those traits can show up, but they are just tendencies, not the full picture of you.

Your Enneagram type is a tool for self-awareness. It helps you notice patterns, motivations, and fears, but it doesn’t capture the depth, complexity, and unique combination of experiences that make up your life.

When we mistake our number for our identity, we risk limiting ourselves, believing we must always behave a certain way or fit a certain mold.

This is your reminder: the traits commonly associated with each type are just tendencies, not prescriptions. Real growth comes when we notice these patterns, reflect on why we do what we do, and make conscious choices about how we want to show up in the world. You get to define yourself, a number doesn’t have that power over you.

What things have you seen online about your Enneagram number that make you think, “THAT’S NOT ME!” Share your thoughts in the caption!

We all have those moments where it’s time to disappear 🪄
09/08/2025

We all have those moments where it’s time to disappear 🪄

Society loves to celebrate certain traits. For each Enneagram number, there’s a particular way we’re praised, rewarded, ...
09/05/2025

Society loves to celebrate certain traits. For each Enneagram number, there’s a particular way we’re praised, rewarded, and encouraged to “show up.”

But here’s the thing: just because the world values these patterns doesn’t mean they’re the full picture of who we are or what’s healthiest for us. In fact, leaning too heavily into them can keep us stuck, disconnected, or exhausted.

For example, being disciplined and responsible as a an Enneagram 1 gets you recognition, but it can also make it hard to let yourself relax or embrace imperfection. Being generous and selfless as an Enneagram 2 earns love and admiration, but can make it easy to neglect your own needs. And being fun and optimistic as an Enneagram 7 makes you a joy to be around, but might stop you from sitting with discomfort and growing in presence.

This post breaks down what society tends to praise in each type, and what opportunities we might miss when we over-focus on those traits.

Growth doesn’t mean rejecting the qualities that make you, you. It means noticing when they’re being performed out of expectation rather than choice, and making space for what actually nourishes your mind, body, and heart.

Which one feels most familiar to you right now? Where do you notice yourself performing a trait because it’s expected, rather than because it’s what you truly need?

Okay, it may be a little late for this meme, but I felt inspired this morning.P.S. I was at the football game that Taylo...
09/04/2025

Okay, it may be a little late for this meme, but I felt inspired this morning.

P.S. I was at the football game that Taylor Swift was at last Thursday, so we’re basically best friends.

One of the most powerful parts of working with the Enneagram is realizing that the patterns we’ve relied on for so long ...
09/03/2025

One of the most powerful parts of working with the Enneagram is realizing that the patterns we’ve relied on for so long aren’t the only way to move through life. Each type has its own default way of thinking, feeling, and reacting, and while those patterns once kept us safe, they can also keep us stuck.

That’s why slowing down to reflect is so important. Sometimes all it takes is the right question to crack something open inside of us and to help us see ourselves with more honesty, compassion, and choice. It’s a necessary part of creating more self-awareness.

I put together one reflection prompt for each Enneagram number. They’re not questions to rush through or “get right.” They’re invitations. Something to sit with, journal on, or carry into your day.

Which one speaks to you the most right now?
Tag a friend who might need their type’s reminder today, or save this post to come back to when you need a reset.

The Enneagram doesn’t determine who we are, it points to how our experiences shaped us into certain beliefs about oursel...
09/03/2025

The Enneagram doesn’t determine who we are, it points to how our experiences shaped us into certain beliefs about ourselves and coping mechanisms for dealing with those beliefs.

Each number carries a childhood wound, often born out of the small (or big) moments where we felt unsafe, unseen, or unloved. Those early experiences shaped the way we learned to protect ourselves, but they don’t tell the whole story of who we are.

Soul Child Theory reminds us that within each of us is a younger, freer part of ourselves: the “soul child.” This part remembers what it felt like to live without the armor, without the striving, without the constant guarding. It remembers joy, curiosity, innocence, and wholeness.

The work of adulthood isn’t about shaming our wounds or trying to erase them. It’s about learning to notice when we’re living from that place of protection and gently turning back toward the child inside us who already knows how to live with openness and freedom.

When we honor both the wound that shaped us and the soul child within us, we begin to grow into the most authentic version of ourselves.

Does the childhood wound and adult work associated with your number resonate with you?

Sometimes it’s just better if we stop those sentences in their tracks. Which one resonated with you? ...
08/30/2025

Sometimes it’s just better if we stop those sentences in their tracks. Which one resonated with you?

One of the reasons the Enneagram is so powerful is that it reveals not only our strengths and struggles, but the contrad...
08/28/2025

One of the reasons the Enneagram is so powerful is that it reveals not only our strengths and struggles, but the contradictions we live inside every day. Each number has a paradox: a place where we both long for and resist the very thing we need most.

These paradoxes aren’t mistakes, they’re invitations. When we can hold the tension between what we want and what we resist, we begin to grow.

The examples in this post are just one of many paradoxes that live inside each one of us. Which paradox do you resonate with most right now? What other paradox do you notice showing up in your life?

Drop your Enneagram number and thoughts in the comments!

Are you a therapist, coach, social worker, or another mental health professional who works one-on-one with clients? For ...
07/21/2025

Are you a therapist, coach, social worker, or another mental health professional who works one-on-one with clients? For the first time, I’m hosting a mini-version of my Enneagram in Practice Course this November.

Historically, this course has been twice as long and twice as expensive. But, this November, I’m trying something new!

If you’re a professional who has a basic understanding of the Enneagram and wants to jump right to the chase of how to integrate more advanced Enneagram topics in your day-to-day practice, this is your shot.

This group will meet for three consecutive Tuesdays over Zoom. Each session will be an hour of teaching, and an hour of personalized coaching in which we break down real life examples and scenarios from your own practice.

Early bird pricing is available for a limited time! DM me with any questions you have.

In honor of the long weekend, here are some ideas for your automatic out-of-office replies! (Or maybe just keep it simpl...
07/04/2025

In honor of the long weekend, here are some ideas for your automatic out-of-office replies! (Or maybe just keep it simple with an “Out of office. I’ll be back Monday.”)

Not all wounds are visible. But they shape everything.How we show up in relationships.How we protect ourselves from pain...
07/03/2025

Not all wounds are visible. But they shape everything.
How we show up in relationships.
How we protect ourselves from pain.
How we learned to survive.

If this image made you feel seen, you’re not alone.
The Enneagram helps name the patterns we’ve developed to cope, not to shame them, but to understand them.

And when we understand them, we can begin to soften them.
We can start healing from a place of compassion, not critique.

You’re not broken.
You’re human.
And you don’t have to navigate this alone.

If you’re ready to go deeper, check out The Embodied Enneagram: A Guided Meditation Series. Or, talk to a therapist who is Enneagram and trauma-informed. These are powerful places to start reconnecting with the truest version of you.

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