Fully Alive Coaching

02/01/2026

01/21/2026

Sometimes boundaries can be confused with attempts to control. Here are some key differences:

(original post:

Boundaries:

    •    Focus on YOUR choices
    •    Respect other people’s autonomy
    •    Sounds like “If this continues, I will…”

Attempts to control:

    •    Focus on changing someone else’s behavior
    •    Use pressure, threats, or guilt
    •    Sounds like “You have to” or “You’re not allowed to”

In action, a boundary sounds like:

“If meetings start late again, I’ll need to leave at the scheduled end time.”

An attempt to control sounds like:

“You need to start respecting my time and stop being late.”

Have you ever confused these two before? 

How do you navigate boundary setting? Straightforward? Indirect? Something else?

Let me know in the comments!

01/20/2026

01/20/2026

Just a quick note. From a survivor.

💜🫶🏽✨

💜

01/19/2026

01/15/2026

01/11/2026

This is something we work on in the Cycle Breakers program —
learning to tell the difference between misalignment and actual harm.

Harm is absolutely real and it happens a lot.
And I find that many people interpret misalignment as harm —
they take it deeply personally when someone can't meet them where they want to be met.
And while it's true that misalignment and harm can overlap at times,
it's also true that someone not being in the same space as you isn't inherently harmful or offensive, and it doesn't necessarily make either of you "wrong."

You might be in different places with different needs, maturity levels, perspectives, or feelings about something significant.
And that's not inherently bad —
but in order to tolerate misalignment, we have to have a respectful connection with ourselves.
We have to have the self awareness to be present to our own feelings, needs, wants, and desires, and to be in touch with our own boundaries.

And when we do so, we can encounter misalignment and recognize what's happening is that we're not in the same place —
and use that information to help us move forward.
Sometimes together, respecting differences.
Sometimes separately when we realize the gap is too large.
This can be quite painful at times, but it's what differentiated, emotionally mature adults become increasingly capable of over time.

This is a complex topic, but one that can be incredibly helpful when we stop interpreting difference as harm (which often happens when we're raised in codependent systems).
If this is something you're working on, the 12 month Cycle Breakers program begins January 21.
Space is limited!
https://theeqschool.co/cycle-breakers

01/11/2026

Selflovehealer