Intimate Partner Betrayal Alliance

12/11/2025

12/11/2025

This is a love note for a very specific group of women in my community: the ones doing Christmas alone. This is my sixth Christmas as a single parent. I have a big family and it has only grown since that first solo Christmas in 2020. And let me be clear up front: I love Christmas. I love my big fam. I love my big kids. I love this time of year. I love traditions and big dinners. I love giving gifts and making magic. So this is coming from someone who is INTO IT ALL.

This time of year, I feel the lack of a spouse most acutely. In the best of times, Christmas for our family was a two-man job, and even then, we both worked our little fingers to the bone to get it all decorated, hung, shopped, bought, wrapped, assigned, managed, cooked, sorted, and finished. December meant a million decisions a day and a thousand moving parts. The division of labor was an absolute requirement to get it all done. Just my half of the work for two and half decades was fully overwhelming.

And now I do all of it by myself. A bunch of you do too. It’s all on you. You are keeping the traditions going, the house decorated. You are doing all the shopping, all the managing. You are in charge of everyone’s everything. There is no one to hand anything off to. No one to take half. No one to even take a decision off your plate. It is actually hard to describe how lonely and hard this can be.

So I see you. I know you are working so very hard. I know how much you love your family and want to make this season beautiful for them. I understand the fatigue.

And here’s what I want you to know: https://jenhatmaker.com/blog/a-love-note-for-those-doing-christmas-alone/

12/08/2025

12/04/2025

Does it count as a testimony when a woman walks away from a serial adulterer? I’ve never seen a woman celebrated in church for choosing to leave a marriage that was harmful. Why don’t we allow women to share their stories publicly? When does a woman have permission to tell her story without being called bitter or unforgiving?

12/03/2025

for December (a poem):
everything may not
change at once,
but that doesn’t mean
nothing will change at all...

you are allowed
to acknowledge
the possibility
of something good
starting to shift,
even if it begins small.

for perhaps,
after all the Decembers
you have lived through,
you are still free to consider
how this December
can be different for you.

whether this year
felt different from others,
or more like the same old thing,
or some tangled and turning path
in the wildwood of the between,
you are free to have hope
for things that hold,
wonder that knows no end,
timing that works out,
and good songs
worth playing on repeat,
again and again.
if something in you
dares to even consider it,
you are still free to have this hope.

beautiful new beginnings
can start later than you thought.

small shifts
can have a larger impact
than you realized.

honest, grounded hope
can return where you thought it was over.

you can still experience
the sense of possibility
you once thought
was only possible
for other people.

yes, you can be
surprised by grief
in this life,
but perhaps,
you can also
be surprised
by joy.

everything may not
change at once,
but that doesn’t mean
nothing will change at all.
you are allowed
to acknowledge
the possibility
of something good
starting to shift,
even if it begins small.

and even if it is in
the most subtle way,
you are free
to think of December as a place
where leaves part
from their branches
and make room for you
to come into the forest’s clearing
and let yourself breathe again.

-

for all that comes next,
may December breathe slowly
in ways you did not expect.
may you meet this month
with both curiosity and gentleness.

make space for
moments of clarity where you need to
and create room to simply be
where you need to.
let December be what it needs to be.

let December be what it needs to be.

MHN

12/03/2025

Don’t ever torget just how much power you have to positively influence and impact your children.

You may just need the proper expert support and strategies to do so.

Your narcissistic ex has had a lifetime to hone their manipulative craft, to master their abuse tactics.

And you have not had a lifetime to learn how to counter these tactics.

And if you’ve left them, you were more than likely running on fumes, simply trying to survive.

Exhausted as all getup and that’s exactly where they want you- an exhausted person is so much easier to manipulate.

And doing it alone, is possible, but, it’s also so much more exhausting, stressful, and anxiety inducing.

It’s so easy to feel absolutely helpless and hopeless in the face of such counter parenting.

And they know that your love for your children supersedes everything else, which is why it’s such an easy target for them.

It’s where you are the most vulnerable.
Attack you there, and they can control you.

So, arm yourself now, with the right tools and strategies to make yourself far less vulnerable.

Educate and empower yourself now so that can stop being blindsided by their every whim.

Find the proper expert and community support to help you thrive and navigate this all with far more clarity, confidence, and empowerment.

Join The Collective- a community of kick ass protective parents and expert coaching by me.

➡️DM “members” to get the link.

Or, join my Voxer Support to get real time guidance and coaching when you need it, and not within days or even weeks.

➡️DM “Voxer” for the link.

Because you not only don’t have to navigate this alone, but you also shouldn’t.

And the more proactive you are, the better off you and your children will be.

Prevention is always the best medicine and never more so than when you’re dealing with a narcissistic counter parent hellbent on controlling and hurting you by any means necessary.

12/03/2025

Divorce is not an easy decision to make. Most women try to hang on and make it work, especially if children are involved. But every woman I’ve asked has the regret of not doing it sooner, which is the opposite of what we often hear. When a marriage is abusive, destructive, and/or damaging it’s no longer a marriage. It’s a prison.

12/02/2025

Your body holds God-given wisdom. It lets you know when to move away from an unsafe person. Between sexual issues and GI issues, many victims of report some physical ailment. That’s because the body will tell the truth even when our minds don’t know it yet. The body really does keep the score.

11/29/2025

It’s extremely painful to discover around important dates in your life. Those special memories are now tainted by the betrayal. This happens because of the emotional dysregulation of the betrayer and an attempt to soothe the overwhelm. It’s extremely selfish and devastating to the betrayed partner. The path forward is repair, ownership, and learning to take accountability for the betraying partner. The betrayed partner needs safety, support, and a safe place to grieve.

11/29/2025

is the result of lies, manipulation, and an intentional altering of reality. It’s not your fault that you were betrayed. No matter how much your partner blames you, that is a deflection of ownership. Healing is yours to own. If you’re ready to get started, I’d love to work with you.