Beyond Limits Counseling

05/03/2026

"Over the years, one of the most meaningful parts of this work has been helping new clinicians grow into confident, capable therapists". We’re proud to share that Jose Gonzalez, LCSW has recently been approved as a Board Approved Supervisor in Alaska. This isn’t new work, just a new chapter. Jose has spent years supervising MSW students and pre-licensed therapists, in Colorado, helping them develop not just clinical skills, but confidence in how they show up for their clients. Early in this field, most clinicians struggle with doubt. That part is normal. What matters is having the right support, the right guidance, and the space to grow over time. At Beyond Limits Counseling, we believe strong clinicians aren’t rushed into competence. They’re developed intentionally. And we’re proud to continue that work here in Alaska.

Beyond Limits Counseling - Providing mental health counseling for individuals and families who struggle with relational issues, low self-esteem, stress management, anxiety, depression, as well as traumatic experiences.

05/01/2026

Your emotions are real…
But they are not always effective guides for what to do next.

In DBT, there is a skill called Opposite Action.

The idea is simple:
When an emotion is pushing you to act in a way that will make things worse, you intentionally choose to do the opposite.

Not to ignore your feelings.
Not to invalidate them.
But to respond in a way that actually helps.

For example:

When anxiety tells you to avoid → you take one small step forward
When sadness tells you to isolate → you reach out to someone
When anger tells you to lash out → you pause and respond calmly
When shame tells you to hide → you show up anyway

This works because emotions create action urges. When you change the action, you can actually shift the intensity of the emotion over time.

You don’t have to wait to feel better before acting differently.
Sometimes acting differently is what helps you feel better.

Try this:
Next time you feel a strong emotion, ask yourself:
“What is this emotion telling me to do?”
Then ask:
“Will that help… or make things worse?”

If it’s not effective, try the opposite.

It might feel uncomfortable at first. That’s part of the process.

If you’ve been feeling stuck in patterns that don’t serve you, therapy can help you build skills to respond differently.

Beyond Limits Counseling is here to help.

04/29/2026

Why your brain keeps you stuck in overthinking

Overthinking feels like problem solving.

But most of the time, it’s not.

It’s your brain trying to create certainty in situations where certainty doesn’t exist.

Your brain is designed to predict and protect.

So when something feels uncertain, it starts running scenarios:

What if this goes wrong
What if I made a mistake
What if something bad happens

The more it searches, the more possibilities it finds.

And the more possibilities it finds, the more unsettled you feel.

Not because you are getting closer to an answer.
But because you are training your brain to stay in the loop.

Overthinking doesn’t resolve uncertainty.
It amplifies it.

And over time, your brain learns:

“Stay here. Keep searching. This matters.”

But breaking the pattern doesn’t come from finding the perfect answer.

It comes from stepping out of the loop.

Letting uncertainty exist
Without trying to solve it immediately

That is how your brain learns something new:

“I can feel uncertain… and still be okay.”

Change is possible. Sometimes it just takes the right support to begin. At Beyond Limits Counseling, our therapists are here when you are ready to take that first step.

04/27/2026

Just because it feels true…
does not mean it is true.

That is one of the hardest parts about emotions.

They can feel 100% real, convincing, and urgent
even when they are based on assumptions, not facts.

In DBT, there is a skill called Check the Facts.

The goal is simple:
Slow down and separate what actually happened
from the story your mind is telling about it.

For example:

“They didn’t text me back. They must be upset with me.”
Fact: They haven’t responded.
Story: They are upset with me.

“My boss was quiet in that meeting. I’m probably in trouble.”
Fact: Your boss was quiet.
Story: You’re in trouble.

This matters because emotions follow interpretations.
When your interpretation shifts, your emotional response often shifts with it.

You are not invalidating your feelings.
You are making sure they are based on accurate information.

Try this:
Next time you feel a strong emotion, pause and ask:

“What are the actual facts of this situation?”
“What am I assuming or filling in?”

Then ask:
“If someone else looked at this, what else might be true?”

You might notice the intensity start to come down
when you separate facts from assumptions.

If you find yourself getting stuck in anxious or reactive thought patterns, therapy can help you build skills to slow things down and respond more effectively.

Beyond Limits Counseling is here to help.

04/25/2026

Most people think trust is built in big moments.

It’s not.

According to Dr. John Gottman, trust is built in the smallest decisions… over and over again.

He calls it the “sliding door moment.”

It’s that split second where your partner reaches for you:

“Hey, look at this.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Today was kind of stressful…”

And you have a choice.

Turn toward
Turn away
Or turn against

Strong relationships aren’t built on grand gestures.

They’re built on how often you choose to turn toward in those small, everyday moments.

Looking up instead of staying on your phone
Responding instead of ignoring
Showing interest instead of brushing it off

These moments seem small.

But they’re not.

They’re how trust is built… or slowly broken.

Here’s a question:

Do you feel like your partner responds when you reach for them?

At Beyond Limits Counseling, our Gottman trained therapist helps couples recognize these patterns and rebuild trust through simple, meaningful changes.

At Beyond Limits Counseling, our Gottman-trained therapist helps couples recognize these patterns and rebuild trust through simple, meaningful changes.

04/24/2026

Why does behavior get worse when you try to change it?

You set a limit.
You stay consistent.

And suddenly…
More arguing.
More intensity.
More pushback.

It feels like it’s not working.

But this is often part of the process.

When a behavior has worked before, kids will try it harder before they let it go.

Think about trying to break a habit.
At first, the urge gets stronger, not weaker.

The same thing can happen with behavior.

It escalates before it fades.

This is the moment many parents give up.
And it’s also the moment where consistency matters most.

If it feels harder before it gets better,
you’re probably not doing it wrong.

You might be right in the middle of change.

04/22/2026

Most couples don’t drift apart all at once.

It happens slowly.
Quietly.
Almost invisibly.

Not in the big fights.
But in the small moments that stop happening.

The check-ins
The inside jokes
The “how was your day?”
The sitting together without distractions

Dr. John Gottman calls this “emotional distance.”

And it’s one of the biggest predictors of relationship dissatisfaction.

Strong couples don’t just avoid conflict.
They stay emotionally connected over time.

They stay curious about each other
They keep showing interest
They protect time together
They don’t stop being friends

Because connection isn’t something you build once.

It’s something you maintain.

Here’s a question:

When was the last time you felt genuinely connected to your partner?

At Beyond Limits Counseling, our Gottman trained therapist helps couples rebuild connection, strengthen communication, and feel close again.

Healthy relationships don’t happen by accident. They are built with intention.

04/21/2026

Not all red flags are loud.

Some show up quietly…
in what you tolerate
in what you explain away
in what you feel but try to ignore

Over the past few posts, we’ve talked about:

Staying because you’ve invested too much
Feeling like you have to shrink yourself
Experiencing more anxiety than peace
Constantly justifying their behavior
Ignoring concerns from people who care about you

Individually, these can be easy to dismiss.
Together, they tell a story.

A relationship should not cost you your sense of self, your peace, or your safety.

And if something feels off…
it’s worth paying attention to.

You don’t have to keep convincing yourself something is okay if it doesn’t feel okay.

And you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Our therapists at Beyond Limits Counseling are here to help you sort through what’s healthy, what’s not, and what comes next.
www.mybeyondlimits.com

(Save this as a reminder. Share it with someone who might need it.)

04/20/2026

Dr. Amen explain EMDR

04/19/2026

When the people you trust are concerned…
it’s worth paying attention.

Sometimes it’s hard to see clearly when you’re inside the relationship.

You’re close to it.
You’ve invested in it.
You want it to work.

But the people in your life who truly care about you often see things from the outside that you can’t.

If the people who have consistently shown up for you…
who want the best for you…
are expressing concern about your relationship,

pause.

This doesn’t mean they’re automatically right.
But it does mean something is worth looking at.

Unhealthy relationships often grow stronger in isolation.
Healthy perspective brings clarity.

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

Our therapists at Beyond Limits Counseling are here to help.
www.mybeyondlimits.com

(This is part 5 of a series on relationship red flags. Follow along for more.)