Maui Transformations

01/15/2026

This is about seeing potential when others see waste

He had $80 left, a truck full of horses headed for slaughter was pulling away, and one pair of eyes locked with his. What happened next rewrote history.

February 1956. A snowy auction yard in Pennsylvania. Harry deLeyer, a Dutch immigrant barely scraping by as a riding instructor, arrived too late. The auction was over. Horses labeled “worthless”—too old, too worn, too broken—had already been loaded onto a truck bound for the slaughterhouse.

As the truck prepared to leave, Harry noticed a grey gelding staring back through the wooden slats. The horse’s body told a hard story—scarred hide, worn hooves, years of brutal plow work—but his eyes were calm, intelligent, alive. Where others saw an animal at the end of its usefulness, Harry saw a soul worth saving.

He stopped the truck. He negotiated. He handed over his last $80, money his family could barely afford to lose. The horse stepped off the truck and into a new life. Harry named him Snowman, because his grey coat blended into the winter fields of their Long Island farm.

Snowman was meant to be a gentle school horse—safe, predictable, quiet.

But Snowman had other plans.

No matter how high the fences were built, Snowman jumped them. Four feet. Five feet. Six. The unwanted plow horse soared with the grace of a champion. Harry realized this wasn’t a beginner’s horse—it was something extraordinary.

Against all odds, Harry trained Snowman for professional competition. They entered shows filled with pedigreed thoroughbreds worth thousands. Judges scoffed at the rescue horse with the farmer’s build.

Then Snowman started winning.

In 1958, just two years after being saved, Snowman became National Horse Show Champion, defeating America’s finest jumpers. In 1959, he did it again. The eighty-dollar horse had become priceless.

Their story swept the nation. LIFE Magazine, The Tonight Show, and Sports Illustrated all featured them. In a post-war America searching for hope, Harry and Snowman became symbols that value isn’t defined by pedigree or price—but by heart.

Offers poured in, even $100,000. Harry refused every one. “He’s not for sale,” he said. “He’s family.”

Snowman lived to 26, retiring peacefully on the farm. Harry passed away in 2021 at 93. Their bond was forever preserved in the 2015 documentary Harry & Snowman.

This isn’t just a horse story. It’s about seeing potential where others see waste.

Sometimes, the greatest victories aren’t won.

They’re rescued.

01/14/2026

01/12/2026

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01/09/2026

This kid is loving hula!

01/05/2026

SHOULD YOU FORGIVE AND FORGET?

A Stoic View of Human Relations

The Stoic Philosophers all stress the futility of being angry with someone for their behavior. They point out that carrying the anger disturbs our peace more than their’s.

The Dichotomous Rule: Know the difference between what you can control and what you cannot control—and stop trying to control what other people think or do and instead focus only on what you can control.

Whether you forgive someone depends on you. So, theoretically it is under your control. Getting them to feel sorry is not.

What do you mean by forgive?

When I speak of forgiving someone that does not mean I will spend time with them or allow them to mistreat me again in any way.

Forgiveness is not a word I really like. I prefer to think about understanding people and their current limitations. I make my decision whether to continue our relationship based on what I now understand and my past experiences with the person.

If I continue the relationship, it is not because I have forgiven or forgotten their past behavior. I now know what the person is capable of. This means I will be unlikely to ever trust them in the same way I did before. I will be more cautious about what I share and what I expect.

Stoic View of Nature

The Stoic Philosophers I mainly read, Epictetis, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca, suggest it is rather ridiculous to expect people to do more than be typically human. Annoying and betraying and mistreating other people, or exploiting them for personal gain, have been part of the history of human behavior for as far back as we have records.

For perspective, Epictetus was alive and lecturing 1800 years ago about the futility of fighting Nature and expecting to control other people.

Since we know this is how humans naturally are to some extent, the Stoics advise ourselves to prepare ourselves in the morning by reminding us of we can expect to face. To paraphrase Emperor Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations:

Today I am going to encounter meanness and unfairness and anger and accusations from other people. But my only job is to be Good.

And by “Good” he meant that he would not react to these bad behaviors. Instead he would keep in mind his own moral code and what he considered virtuous behavior and do that no matter how anyone else behaved.

The Stoics recommend that we flow with nature like a stream and not waste our precious life fighting against the current.

The Stoics View of Harmony

They recommend trying to minimize life’s bumps by focusing on creating harmonious relationships as much as possible. This involves not sweating the small stuff, as the modern expression goes. This translates to not correcting every small mistake and overlooking minor annoying behaviors for the sake of peace and harmony.

Unnecessary fighting over trivial matters was viewed as a pointless waste of our energy and time.

Punchline

The more you focus on how disturbing someone’s behavior is, the more time you are spending on something in the past that you cannot change. Forgiving the person is one of the ways people move on with their life. I prefer to substitute “understanding and adjusting my expectations” to forgiving or forgetting.

Elinor Greenberg, PhD

Consultant on personality disorders and relationships. Author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations.

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01/01/2026

If you need support in making 2026 your year, I am available in the office and via telehealth. Let’s make it our best year yet.

12/29/2025

this illustrates the power of the subconscious mind

12/29/2025

This new best-seller was such a powerful and relatable read! Definitely a must get for all ages!❤️ Click the link to grab your copy https://geni.us/MustRead-2025

12/29/2025

This is a wonderful article about reducing stress by changing how you experience Mondays! 

Gentle Way to Enter Monday Without Pressure

A calm reflection on beginning the week without forcing yourself forward
DAILY MINDFULNESS

Monday often arrives with a quiet sense of demand. Even before anything happens, your mind may already feel pulled ahead. There is an assumption that the week must begin with energy, clarity, and readiness. That you should feel prepared to move quickly. That you should already know how to handle everything that is coming.

But many mornings do not feel that way.
Your body wakes slowly.
Your thoughts feel scattered.
Your nervous system feels alert before you feel grounded.

This does not mean you are behind. It means your system is still settling.

A gentle Monday is not about doing less. It is about starting differently.

Pressure often enters the week before you do

For many people, pressure shows up before the first task. It comes from expectation. From habit. From the belief that Mondays require a certain level of performance.

You might feel it as
a tight chest
a rushed breath
a sense that time is already running out
a feeling that you should be moving faster

This pressure is rarely about today alone. It is often connected to past weeks that felt heavy. To unfinished responsibilities. To the fear of falling behind again.

Your nervous system remembers these patterns, even if your mind does not name them.

You do not need motivation to begin the week

One of the biggest myths about Mondays is that you need to feel motivated in order to start. This belief creates pressure when motivation is low. You may try to push yourself into focus. You may judge yourself for feeling slow. You may compare how you feel to how you think you should feel.

But motivation is not required.
Presence is.

You can begin the week without enthusiasm.
You can begin it without clarity.
You can begin it without force.

A gentle start allows your system to organize itself naturally instead of being rushed into readiness.

Slowing the beginning softens the entire day

How you begin the day shapes how your body moves through it. When you rush first thing, your system stays tense. When you soften the start, your nervous system receives a different message.

It learns that the day is not an emergency.
It learns that you are allowed to arrive slowly.
It learns that you are safe enough to breathe.

This does not require a long routine. It requires intention.

You might take one breath before standing up.
You might delay checking your phone for a few minutes.
You might sit quietly before speaking or moving.

These small pauses are enough to change your internal pace.

Pressure often comes from trying to control the whole week at once

Mondays feel heavy when you try to hold the entire week in your mind. Tasks stack up mentally. Responsibilities blur together. You feel responsible for everything before you have done anything.

This creates unnecessary weight.

You do not need to carry the whole week today.
You only need to meet this moment.

When you narrow your focus, the pressure eases. One step. One task. One decision at a time. Your nervous system responds well to simplicity.

A gentler question to ask yourself on Monday

Instead of asking
How do I get through this week

Try asking
What would help me feel slightly more settled right now

This question shifts you from performance to care. It invites your inner world into the process. Often the answer is simple. Slower movement. Fewer expectations. Clearer boundaries. A calmer tone with yourself.

Gentleness does not mean avoidance. It means alignment.

You are allowed to start without proving anything

You do not need to earn a gentle Monday.
You do not need to justify moving at your own pace.
You do not need to rush to show that you are capable.

Capability does not come from pressure. It comes from regulation. When your nervous system feels supported, you think more clearly. You respond more intentionally. You conserve energy instead of burning it early.

A gentle beginning often leads to a steadier week.

Let Monday be an entry, not a test

Monday does not need to measure you. It does not need you at full capacity. It does not need perfection. It only needs your presence.

You are allowed to arrive slowly.
You are allowed to feel into the day.
You are allowed to take up space without rushing through it.

When you remove pressure from the beginning, you give yourself a chance to actually live the week instead of bracing for it.

Let this Monday be softer.
Not because you are avoiding responsibility, but because you understand your nervous system needs care.

A gentle start is not weakness.
It is wisdom.

From Daily Mindfulness