04/09/2023
This simple text explains a lot of complexity 💜
Easter was the last holiday I had with my Mom before she passed... she died about 10 days later.
My brain struggles to recall the date itself, but I feel it coming. It's been 10 years, but the pain of that loss is still there. And that's okay. That's grief. It works in its own way, in its own time.
Love you, mom. You're still my favourite mom. 😉❤ ( That's something I joked about with her often, and to which she would always reply, "I'm your only mom, you silly nut.")
***
I remember the day you died
You closed your eyes
after looking at me one last time
& went to sleep
Your breaths
long, soft, and slow
I held your hand
and looked at you
My person.
My perfect person.
Taking your final breaths
& me...
trying, helplessly, haplessly
to say goodbye
and thank you
And then it happened
There we stood
Hand in hand
at the edge of a great abyss
You were afraid to take that step
& I was afraid to let you go
to be alone in the world without you
But it had to be
I said, "I'll be okay"
Because I would
It was you, after all, who prepared me
Then, as always, you were brave
You took that step
And I knew
because of you
one day
I could be that brave, too
©Tara Shannon
I don't really discuss this much, except with one person, but the day my mom passed, I recall being in two places at once... the hospital room, and an airy space or ocean like place with my mom, holding hands. It was surreal, and I've not really been able to write about it much.
***
Image Text:
I have felt no greater pain
than the moment when your
heart ❤
stopped beating.
And mine
carried on...
©Tara Shannon