04/24/2023
You are doing an amazing job!
I shared it on stories last week, but with my little one’s pending EI evaluation, I have felt those thoughts creeping in….especially with him being my third….
“I should’ve done more with him”
“Maybe it’s because he is the third kid, and I am more distracted”
Nothing new for me…the tendency to lean into guilt, spiraling into what I could have done differently in the past and what that may mean for his future…but here's where it got interesting…
I usually just sit with those feelings. Very rarely do I try to articulate them, but for some reason this time I did. & when I shared that internal dialogue with my husband, he said quite literally…
“It’s wild your mind would even go there. It would never even cross my mind that something I did or didn’t do would have contributed to this.”
just like that…and somehow, the simplicity of realizing I was completely putting this on myself, and for what?? was so eye opening, AND after sharing that in stories, I received SO many messages of solidarity from other moms that have felt that way/currently do, and it really got me thinking…
why is that? why is that often something isolated to moms?
Is it the mental load? Is it society? Is it personality? Is it a bit of all of it?
Because the reality is, at least for Jay & I, this convo tracks with our overall personalities…the quickest summary of which I’d say is that I LOVE to hang out in the past & future…all I could have done, the spirals of what the future may hold. And jay…well he sits really comfortably right in the present, something I have to be really mindful of.
So on that note….I’d love to hear your thoughts on this random ramble/revelation…have you experienced this? Any tips/tricks/advice if you’ve made it out the other side? I’d love to hear!