New Way Counseling, PLLC

08/20/2025

08/20/2025

08/19/2025

Be gentle with yourself around your resistance.

Resistance is a part of growth - it’s that tension we feel, the tug trying to keep you in your comfort zone; of trying to keep you in safe territory where things feel familiar.

It makes sense, especially when trying to break patterns around the use of old coping mechanisms. Our coping mechanisms helped us *cope*!
They kept us going at the expense of our deeper needs; they were the trade-off that kept us connected, loved, safe, alive, etc.

So when we go to give them up, when we go to stop being perfect or to stop pleasing everyone else at the expense of ourselves, our bodies naturally freak out a bit.
They shut down, they rebel, they sound the alarm that where we’re going isn’t known and it is NOT safe.
Because in the past, our bodies learned that it wasn’t.

But the way forward is to learn how to be present to that resistance; to recognize it & get curious about what belief lives beneath it, & what deeper needs & feelings learned that they needed to be hidden away.
To bring ourselves into the present moment, where we're capable of so much more.

When we learn to meet these parts of ourselves instead of judging them, we can recognize that not only are we capable adults who can show up for ourselves, but we are much more adept at finding support and help to move us through (and it’s more widely available these days). Resistance always shows up fiercely whenever you’re about to step into a new level - even if it’s something you’ve dreamt about and wanted your entire life.

Be gentle with your resistance.
These days, I start by sitting with and breathing into it, and I thank it.
My body is simply trying to keep me safe. Increasing self awareness & emotional self management skills greatly help you to be present to these moments so you can be with & move through them, instead of getting stuck in or constantly derailed by them.

If you're working to deepen your relationship with you — to create your own place of self-love and acceptance within your own heart, this is a part of our practice within the 12 month Cycle Breakers program beginning September 2nd. 3 spots left!
https://theeqschool.co/cycle-breakers

08/19/2025

08/19/2025

I find recognizing my own attachment patterns to be very helpful, BUT the original way that attachment theory was presented has a LOT of problems.

Problems with the original attachment theory include shaming people for insecure styles, moralizing attachment styles (making some good and some bad), exaggerating the causes for insecure styles (abuse is not the only cause), and writing off the disorganized style as unchangeable without significant therapy intervention.

If we understand attachment styles as extensions of our nervous system state, we can see how they are defenses against loss of connection. As a social species, connection is essential for our safety, and our body has many wise ways of attempting to restore that once it is lost. Insecure attachment is the body's wise response to attachment rupture.

Secure attachment is a privilege because many people do not have access to any safe enough people in their lives that they could possibly be securely attached to.
Please do not blame, shame, or punish yourself for having insecure attachments! We get enough of that from our hyper-individualist culture that pretends attachment is a personal issue and not a collective one.
🧬 The full collection of nervous system infographics is available to view at linktr.ee/TraumaGeek
🧠 My 8-week virtual study group is a place we can discuss topics like this in collaborative community. Lesson topics: Polyvagal 101, Polyvagal 401, Energetics of the ANS, the BioPsychoSocial Nervous System, Neurodivergent Trauma, Attachment Trauma, Systemic Trauma, and Pathways to Healing.
Details here: https://traumageek.thinkific.com/courses/2025-summer-study-group

08/19/2025

https://newsletter.thedailywellness.com/p/unlearn-conditional-love-be9a9fa337cbdc98

Many of us were taught care gets withdrawn when we are “bad.” Replace it with steady respect for yourself, even when you mess up...

08/18/2025

Some things are too heavy for kids to carry — and they shouldn’t have to.
Your child needs security, not stress. Safety, not secrets.

Let them have the gift of being a kid.

✨ What we don’t share with our kids can shape them just as much as what we do. ✨

08/18/2025

https://newsletter.thedailywellness.com/p/connection-over-perfection-c19da0f15bbe560e

The right people don't need you polished; they need you real, vulnerability hangover and all...

08/18/2025

08/18/2025

03/10/2025

https://youtu.be/CwjvEc_XUHA?si=aIkls1VCQI8T_SWy

Get 25% off on Paired premium! Start your 7-day free trial by clicking the link here: https://www.paired.com/howtoadhd25Hello, Brains! We often are told (or...