02/27/2026
Narcissists often don’t know who they are, or who they want to be. If I had to choose a song that captures the duality I saw in APC, 3 Doors Down – “Let Me Go” fits. Being close to her revealed two very different personas.
One version is the one her family, friends, and colleagues see: the working mom who raised successful daughters, keeps the household together, performs the role with discipline, and earns admiration for it. That identity is polished, consistent, and socially rewarded.
The other version emerged only when the guard dropped: someone restless, unhappy in her own skin, critical of the people around her, frustrated with her job, and carrying a quiet resentment beneath the surface. That side wasn’t confident — it was conflicted.
In reflection, she opened herself to be more freeing early in our "whatever we were". This contrast was abundantly clear when she visited me in Wyoming. She was a completely different person — her voice, her behavior, her energy. When I asked about it, she said five words that explained everything: “No one knows me here.” Those words exposed an internal struggle she’s been living with for years: the tension between who she performs as and who she actually feels like.
Maybe I got too close. Maybe I saw too much of the real her — the parts she keeps hidden from everyone else. And that explains the separation, the abrupt ending and attempts to LIE away what we were for 18 months. My presence in her life was both freeing and exposing. In many ways, that duality is narcissism in its purest form.
For APC, the four opening lines capture exactly why she couldn’t continue with us. She was standing at a crossroads of her own making — one path where honesty could have built something real, and another where one more lie would have taken everything down with it. One more kiss might have pulled her deeper into a life she wasn’t willing to live truthfully, and one more lie wouldn’t just hurt me — it would unravel her entire performance.
Ultimately, she chose the lie. She chose to protect the performance instead of the truth, and in doing so, she betrayed my heart to preserve the version of herself she shows the world. That choice closed the door on what could have been great, because you can’t build anything real on a foundation she’s still trying to hide from. That choice didn’t just end us—it revealed her.
One more kiss could be the best thing
Or one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, let me go
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on lovin' you
How can this love be a good thing
And I know what I'm going through
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go, let me go
And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I know, I know
But all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
(You don't know)
You love me but you don't know who I am
REMASTERED IN HD!Music video by 3 Doors Down performing Let Me Go. (C) 2004 Universal Records, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc. ...
