The Counseling and Wellness House LLC

04/01/2026

PDA, or Pathological Demand Avoidance (although I prefer the term "Pervasive Drive for Autonomy" is an Autistic subtype (and maybe ADHD) that has distinct characteristics. ⁠
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It's an important thing for parents to know about because:⁠
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1) It can be harder to get an Autism diagnosis as the child often doesn't present in the stereotypical ways. ⁠
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2)It has HUGE implications for how we parent, as these children do well with a low-arousal, low-demand approach to parenting. ⁠
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Here are some core features of PDA (source PDA Society UK). ⁠
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💚 Resists & avoids the ordinary demands of life to an extreme extent, including things they enjoy. This can lead to significant difficulties in daily functioning, social relationships, & education and can make parenting and healthcare challenging.⁠
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💚 Uses social strategies as part of the avoidance (often perceived as manipulative). These strategies may be compelling & can be difficult to distinguish from genuine physical or emotional distress, leading to misunderstandings & conflicts.⁠
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💚 Appears sociable on the surface. But experiences difficulty maintaining close relationships & engaging in true reciprocal play, which can contribute to social isolation & anxiety.⁠
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💚 Experiences excessive mood swings & impulsivity. These mood swings can be intense & unpredictable, leading to sudden outbursts or meltdowns. PDAers are particularly sensitive to stress, unexpected changes, or perceived loss of autonomy.⁠
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💚 Displays 'obsessive' behavior, often focused on other people. This behavior can manifest as intense attachments or aversions to specific individuals or groups, which may change over time or in different contexts. ⁠
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You can read more in today's blog post where I unpack PDA & low-demand parenting) (Link in comments)
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💚 Dr. Neff

03/21/2026

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03/08/2026

Self love is not selfish but is the starting point to achieving so much.

02/19/2026

Morning view walking into the office at The Counseling and Wellness House LLC. Whatever happened yesterday and the unknowns of tomorrow, this reminds me all is ok in this moment. My prayer is for you to carve some time to sit in that space today.

12/24/2025

If you have a narcissist loved one it’s important to understand there will be some chaos involved during the holidays and how to set appropriate boundaries for you and your family.

Narcissists start arguments before birthdays, holidays, or any special occasion because any day that isn't about them, they'll do their best to ruin.

It's a classic move, really. They can't stand the thought of you having a moment, a celebration, or a highlight that doesn't revolve around them. So, they'll create a crisis, they'll stir up drama, and they'll make everything about them. It's a twisted way of seeking attention, of asserting control, and of keeping you off balance.

But here's the thing: don't let them succeed. Don't give them the satisfaction of ruining your special day. Take a step back, breathe, and remember that their behavior is not about you, it's about them. Their inability to be happy for you, to celebrate your successes, and to support your joy is a reflection of their own insecurities, not yours.

So, go ahead, celebrate yourself, and don't let the narcissist rain on your parade. You've got this, and you deserve it.

11/08/2025

Shared post: 💗
Ernest Hemingway once said, "The hardest lesson I have had to learn as an adult is the relentless need to keep going, no matter how broken I feel inside." And that truth resonates deeply.
Life doesn’t stop when we’re grieving or exhausted. It doesn’t pause when we feel lost or like we can’t go on. It keeps moving forward, expecting us to keep up—even when our hearts are heavy and our strength is spent.
As children, we were told that resilience meant a happy ending, that pain always had a purpose, and storms always passed. But adulthood teaches us a different truth. Survival isn’t poetic—it’s messy, often invisible, and sometimes it feels like we’re barely holding it all together.
It’s getting up when all you want to do is hide. It’s smiling through tears. It’s showing up even when you feel completely worn out. Yet, somehow, we keep going. We keep moving forward, one step at a time, even when the path feels impossible.
Resilience isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s the quiet whisper that tells us: “Keep going.” It’s exhausting. It’s unfair. But every small step is proof that we’re still fighting. We’re still here. And that? That’s the bravest thing we can do. ✍️

09/29/2025

I've studied over 200 kids—parents who have the closest relationships with their adult kids do 7 things early on. Find the link in the comments. ⬇️

09/18/2025

Our thoughts have AND create energy. Therefore, what you focus on will grow. Is it your pain or blessings?

08/26/2025

What does it mean to self abandon?
This happens the moment you experience anxiety and you bail on yourself with the attempt to:
1. fix, control, or gain perfection
2. Numb or check out by engaging in addicting behaviors (eating, alcohol, shopping, or attempting to gain validation from others)
3. Believe “I can’t” do this!
That’s you jumping ship and bailing vs being there for you with the hard stuff!

Instead practice self investment! By:
1. Checking in with yourself as you would a best friend. Come alongside your anxiety versus trying to avoid or control it to make it go away.
2. Ask yourself what do I need? Maybe it’s to self soothe, or to move through the anxiety, make a tough decision or have an uncomfortable conversation, or you need to set a boundary.

You self abandon when you prioritize others comfort/well-being above your needs AND when you believe you need someone else to show up for you, when you aren’t showing up for you. You will never lose by self investing in yourself. Everyone wins this way!

07/04/2025

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