Bienvenu Counseling Services

02/23/2026

What can you do if your situation is unfixable? I started a series sometime back that I want to continue. My question assumes that you cannot leave the situation. I came up with three possible answers. I wrote 4 mini-blogs on acceptance – option one. If you’re interested, you can find them on my page by scrolling down below.

Now I’m going to write about option two – transformation. (The third option that I will write about in the future is transcendence.)

I have spoken about and studied transformation for years. I’m trying to look at it now like I know nothing. So, I did a simple search, and the first thing that really struck me was that the word transmutation, which is a concept I have used in therapy and watched remarkable things happen to clients who embraced it. The word transmutation simply came to mind as I was doing the search, so I asked the simple question, What is the difference between transformation and transmutation. This is what I got. Read it and think about it and I’m going to continue the discussion, next time in part two of this section.

transmutation vs transformation

Transform refers to a broad change in form, appearance, or character (e.g., a caterpillar becoming a butterfly), while transmute implies a fundamental change in substance, nature, or essence—often converting one thing into something of higher value or a different, base element (e.g., turning lead into gold). Transformation is common and versatile; transmutation is specialized, often scientific or alchemical. (Reddit)

Key Differences:

Definition: Transformation changes the shape or appearance; Transmutation changes the inner substance.

Context: Transformation is used generally (e.g., "The company transformed its image"). Transmutation is used for elemental changes or profound spiritual/metaphorical shifts (e.g., "Transmuting pain into love").

Process: Transform can be gradual or fast, while transmutation implies a direct conversion or alteration of essence. (Reddit)

Examples:
Transform: A caterpillar turns into a butterfly (same creature, different form).
Transmute: Alchemists attempting to turn base metals into gold (changing the substance itself).
Transmute: Taking negative experiences and turning them into wisdom (metaphorical, deeper change).

If you’re a Christian and know your Bible, you will take issue with this definition, because you know that transformation, in a true spiritual sense, is deeper and not just superficial. What you need to keep in mind is that these are English words and their definitions. 

The Greek word for "transformed" in Romans 12:2 is metamorphoó, which refers to a radical, internal change in form or essence rather than just superficial appearance. This word is the root of "metamorphosis" and signifies a spiritual renewal originating from the mind.

Key Aspects of Metamorphoó in Romans 12:2:

Definition: Meta (change/after) + morphe (form/essence), meaning to be transformed, transfigured, or changed into another form.

The Command: In Romans 12:2, it is in the present passive imperative form—metamorphousthe —meaning "be ye transformed," implying an ongoing process initiated by God.

Meaning: It denotes an inner, organic change that transforms outward behavior, unlike mere conformity to worldly standards.

Context: It is used in contrast to being conformed to this world (Rom 12:2) and is closely related to being transformed into the image of Christ (2 Cor 3:18).

OK, enough already! I know you’re not reading this for an English lesson or to learn definitions of words. 

The question I posed is, what am I supposed to do if my situation is unfixable and I cannot get out of it. I’ve looked at and tried option one which is to accept it. But I cannot accept it. I feel like it is toxic to every aspect of my being. And for whatever reason, imagined or real, I cannot leave and get away from it.

Be transformed! This is another option to your problem and mine. If you cannot change the other person, your living situation, or circumstances, and you are unwilling or unable to accept it, this is another way to deal with it.

Nothing external changes. Yet, you are transformed in such a way so that everything changes. What would this look like? What would it feel like or be like, on a day by day basis, living in the same unacceptable, unfixable, and toxic situation? What if I told you that being transformed is not only possible, but that it could help you to find peace, joy, contentment, and give your life greater meaning than ever before. Would you be interested? I sure as heck would be.

This is what I want to look at and address in the coming posts. 

Stay tuned.
DocPsyc

02/06/2026

When Bad Things Happen! A timeless message I shared several years ago.
Bad things happen to everyone for all kinds of reasons. The Good Book says that “it rains on the just and the unjust.”If you or someone you love is going through some really bad things, I hope this encourages you. Dudley.

The Verse That Changed Everyting- Part 2 // Dudley Bienvenu, Guset Speaker � To find out more about The Bayou Church or to connect with us check us out at the…

12/20/2025

NO GREATER LOVE
I woke from a dream this morning with these words on my mind: “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”

What does this mean? What might it look like, in a practical sense, if any of us were to lay down his or her life for a friend?

As recorded in John’s gospel, quoting Jesus. (John 15:13 NASB)

DocPsyc
To be continued…

11/15/2025

Something is coming and it’s going to be big! Stay tuned. DocPsyc

11/06/2025

GETTING UNSTUCK

“When you experience a setback in life, or disappointment, or heartbreak, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut. When our hearts are heavy, it’s hard to move on.”

“When a car gets stuck in the mud, our instinct is to accelerate in a desperate attempt to set ourselves free. These attempts are futile. Mud flies
everywhere, the car sinks deeper into the mud, and we end up with a bigger mess than we had to begin with.”

“We all get stuck from time to time. Sometimes we do it to ourselves, sometimes someone else does something to cause it, and sometimes circumstances conspire against us. And sometimes we get stuck because stuck is exactly where we need to be in order to pause and reflect on life.”

“The question is what to do when we find ourselves stuck. Albert Einstein observed, ‘We cannot solve problems by using the same thinking we used when we created them’.”

“We need a new level of consciousness to get unstuck. It’s one of the hardest things to attain in life. We strive for knowledge and education, but beyond these await wisdom and consciousness. The hardest thing to do in life is to make the unconscious conscious.”

“From the ground floor of any of the buildings that surround Central Park it is hard to distinguish it from any other park. Go up to the tenth floor and you begin to see its scope and scale. It looks almost completely different from that vantage point. Go to the twenty-first floor and again it looks different. But it isn’t. It hasn’t changed, you’re awareness has changed. Go to the thirty-fifth floor and you will have an even greater appreciation for the spectacular green space in the midst of the most densely populated urban area in the United States. Fly a helicopter over the park and you will gain new insights again.”

“What’s going to help you get unstuck? What’s going to give you a new perspective and raise your consciousness? Reading. Long walks. New friends. Old friends. Prayer. Reflection. Meditation.”

“What will prevent you from getting unstuck? One thing above all else: shame. Beware shame. Shame allows us to stay stuck. Enduring shame is like falling in love with being stuck.”

“It’s okay to feel stuck. It’s okay to be stuck. Just remember that you were not created to be stuck, you were created to grow. Rest a little, take some naps, cry a little, or a lot, but then listen to life pulsing through your body. You will hear that it is time, once again, to walk, to sing, to laugh, to dance, to live.”

Quote taken from, Life is Messy by Matthew Kelly, pp 81-82.

Stay tuned. More to come! DocPsyc

09/22/2025

A 12” X 24” oil painting I started years ago and never finished. This was my attempt to copy a small portion of The Sistine Chapel ceiling painted in fresco by Michelangelo between 1508 and 1512. The image I chose depicts the hand of Adam on the left and God on the right. It was started using the old master technique taught to me by Carl Groh, starting with a graci as an underpainting, and then glazed and painted multiple times using various techniques. Could never quite bring it to a point of completion. Maybe somethings are best left unfinished. Is it possible to be complete and yet unfinished?

08/29/2025

You can find deep significance in your life—and you find it essentially through the decision to voluntarily bear your suffering and to trudge uphill nonetheless.

08/06/2025

What if Something or Someone is Unfixable – Part 4. As I was thinking about what it means to accept something that you cannot fix or change, what immediately came to mind was The Serenity Prayer. Almost everyone has heard it and most likely prayed it at one time or another. With the aid of the Internet AI, I decided to dig deeper into its origin, which I was already familiar with from previous study. I was amazed at what I found, and even more enlightened as to what was actually meant at the time it was first prayed, noticed, and became famous. I also learned more about acceptance.

The first thing to note is that the original wording, which was most likely first recorded sometime during World War II (an extremely important context to consider) was different than the one we now pray. The original went like this:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

What first struck me was that the prayer was asking God primarily for “grace” to accept, not “serenity”! Grace is unmerited divine assistance needed to do what is humanly impossible. Serenity means peace or calm. This simple change in wording makes way more sense. Of course I would love to accept things with serenity (peace). But I’m not praying for peace to accept. I’m praying for grace to accept, as calmly and peacefully as I can. Huge difference!

The second thing that was extremely powerful was praying for the courage to change the things which “should” be changed. Think of the atrocities and horrors committed and experieced during World War II. If you don’t know, look it up. There was real evil and malevolence that “should be changed,” and it would take great courage to confront and defeat it.

The last thing I want to point out is that the final part of the prayer asks for “wisdom” to be able to discern and distinguish one from the other. There was a time early in the war that the United States did not want to get involved and wanted to remain neutral. What if we had not gotten involved? There was controversy about creating an alliance with Joseph Stalin, General Secretary of the communist party and leader of the Soviet Union, in order to defeat Germany (a man considered by many to have been even more maniacal and dangerous than Hi**er). Check out what Stalin did during his reign as dictator. Then, there was the decision on whether or not to drop the atomic bomb. Someone or a group of people united in their beliefs had to determine what was right and what was wrong and then decide what to do about it. The decisions that were made affected millions of lives. Hundreds of thousands of lives would have to be sacrificed, including the innocent, along with immense devestation, in order to stop the evil forces threatened to destroy the civilization and humanity we valued.

There is so much more that I want share with you in my upcoming posts. For now, just think about the prayer as it was originally worded, the context in which it was prayed, and try to apply it to your own situation and circumstances. It changes everything.

More to come. Stay tuned.
DocPsyc

07/10/2025

What if something or someone cannot be fixed? - Part 3
As I pondered this question, three options came to mind: accept, transform, and transcend. This is a continuation and elaboration on my past two posts.

“I’ve tried everything I know to do, and nothing makes a difference. It is unbearable. I see no solution and no way out.”

Have you ever said or felt that way? I have. And I have talked to hundreds if not thousands of people over the past 40 years who have.

What if there is no solution and no way out? What am I supposed to do? What if it is toxic and killing me daily? What if I cannot leave or get away? What if it is real? What then? What if talking about it makes it worse? What if God will not fix it? His grace is supposed to be sufficient, so He tells the apostle Paul, who begs him to remove the thorn from his flesh three times. If you read the passage, God further tells him that there are reasons that he will not fix the problem.

Dialogue:
A: What if I don’t like the reasons and I don’t or can’t see the promised results. What if it feels absolutely intolerable? What am I supposed to do? 
B: Accept it!
A: Seriously?
B: Yes, accept it!
A: I cannot accept it.
B: You have to!
A: No, I don’t. I could kill myself, or run away and change my name.
B: Then do it!
A: I can’t.
B: Why?
A: Doesn’t matter! I can’t.
B: OK. Then you must accept it.
A: What the heck does that even mean?
B: It is recognizing and embracing the finality of a situation without trying to change it or protesting against it.
A: Oh, that’s helpful. I’ve told you that I can’t do that.
B: What’s the alternative? Do you believe that there is a power or a force in the universe that works for good? Could you possibly believe that if you relinquish control to that higher power, that somehow, someway, someday, after it has run its course, it will all work together for a greater good?
A: What if I did believe that, how does that help me now in my present suffering?
B: It may not help you now.
A: I cannot accept that.
B: But you must. You’re not in denial anymore. The shock has worn off. You’ve been angry as hell for sometime now. You’ve been so depressed that you couldn’t get out of bed and thought about killing yourself a number of times. You have grieved. Even though your trauma is real, nobody wants to be around you or talk to you because of the way you are and the way you act. You have fought against it and made things worse for yourself and those involved. Has that helped you?
A: FU!
B: Has it helped you?
A: No!
B: Then accept it.
A: I don’t know how, dammit!”

To be continued…
DocPsyc

The picture below is one I drew on my iPad. I didn’t think much about what I was drawing or why. I was just trying to learn how to use a device. When I look at it now, I see many things: a thorn, purple rain, blood, a cross…

07/02/2025

If something cannot be fixed - Part 2. Options: 1. Accept, 2. Transform, or 3. Transcend. Be still! Simple but not easy. Almost impossible when you are experiencing extreme stress, pain, or suffering. “What the heck does that even mean?” In short, it means to change your state of mind, not just mentally, but physiologically. This can be done in a number of ways, which I will explain later. For now, just try to trust me that it is possible. If you can do this, it will not only help to regulate your troubling emotions associated with your situation, it will open a channel to an infinite source of possibilities, including supernatural peace and power. This is what is needed to accept, transform, and transcend.

While I was being still a couple of days ago. I looked at the wall of my room, and saw the image in the picture below. So, I wrote it down. It may not seem like much, but it is highly significant to me. It came out of nowhere. Actually, “nowhere” is also where infinite possibility exists.

To be continued…
DocPsyc