Acadian Counseling Center NOLA

01/20/2022

Ochsner employees we are now your Tier 1/EPO mental health providers!
Current Clients: We are able to honor you EPO benefits, just like we did with you plans of years past.
New Clients: Call to set up an appointment today to access LOW cost mental health services through your BCBS plan.

12/28/2021

Brandi Leblanc, LPC is now taking new clients with immediate openings! Call us today at 337-504-4974.

10/22/2020

Work Smarter Not Harder: How to Effectively Manage Your Time
October 20, 2020
By: Chelsea C**n

“There are just not enough hours in the day.”
“If only time could stop, so I can get everything done.”

These two statements are commonly expressed by many individuals today. It is so easy to get caught up in our busy lifestyles and become overwhelmed with our responsibilities. If you have said these statements at any point, then like me, you could most likely benefit from time management.

Time management is the process of organizing and planning your time. It is necessary for achieving a better quality of life. There are many long-lasting benefits of adopting this skill. Some of these include:

• Reaching goals
• Finding stability in life
• Diminishing procrastination and wasted time
• Finding more free time
• Reducing frustration
• Getting more satisfaction from life
• Improving health

Successfully incorporating time management skills in our lives does require effort and major sustainable changes. Today we are going to discuss four practical ways that we can effectively manage our time:

1. Identifying our weakness

Identifying the things that we struggle with is the first and most important step in effective time management. Whether it be procrastination or tardiness, they all serve as obstacles into achieving our goals. As we begin to understand our points of weakness, we can change our approach for better results.

2. Set S.M.A.R.T goals

Often, we fail to complete the tasks on our to-do list because they are not well planned. Instead, we should set goals that specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely.

3. Get organized

Being organized is fundamental to effective time management. When we utilize a planner or calendar, it helps us to remain mindful of important dates and deadlines. Organization also prevents us from falling behind in our daily schedules.

4. Take a break

Self-care is an essential aspect of time management. Before we can be truly productive, we must take some time to refresh. It is easy to be consumed with responsibilities when there are several tasks on our to-do lists. However, this can lead to burnout and a lack of motivation. Taking a nap, reading a book, and meditating are some of the many ways that we can give ourselves a break in between tasks.

Our ability to manage time effectively is important to our overall well-being. Proper time management leads to improved productivity and lower stress levels. Applying these strategies in our lives allows us to work smarter not harder!

Resources:
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_00.htm
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201507/developing-time-management-skills
https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/careers/soft-skills/time-management-list-tips/

08/04/2020

Our Minds Matter: Removing the Mental Health Stigma

July 30, 2020
By Chelsea C**n

Racial inequality. Poverty. Social injustice.

These are just a few of the obstacles that plague our nation today. Of these obstacles, the greatest is the stigma surrounding mental health.

Mental health plays a vital role in our overall well-being. It impacts our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It even influences the way we respond to stress, make decisions, and connect with others. Poor mental health is prevalent in our society as a result of the many adversities we face. Before we can effectively overcome these adversities and work towards social justice, our mental health must become a priority.

You may be asking yourself, “Well, how exactly do I make my mental health a priority?” I believe an appropriate starting point would be to address three common misconceptions regarding mental health.

Misconception # 1: Mental health conditions are a sign of weakness.

Experiencing mental health conditions does not equate to weakness. We often make the mistake of assuming mentally strong individuals are not subject to poor mental health. Factors such as genetics, family history, and life experiences can affect your mental health.

Misconception #2: Mental health conditions are not normal.

It is okay not to be okay. Poor mental health is far more common than we realize. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 1out of 5 adults will experience a mental health condition. Those that suffer from mental health conditions should not feel alone or ashamed.

Misconception #3: Seeking help indicates failure.

Asking for help does not mean that you are “giving up.” It actually means quite the opposite. Utilizing the available resources to combat mental health conditions signifies your decision to take back control. Mental health and physical health are of equal importance. Just as we rely on doctors and medicine when physically ill, we should feel comfortable attending to our mental health in the same manner.

Mental health matters. Our minds matter.

If you experience mental health conditions , you do not have to live in isolation due to guilt and shame. There are resources available to provide you with the support you deserve. As a community, we must work together to raise awareness and normalize mental health. A false narrative has been written that communicates otherwise. It is time for us to rewrite this narrative and remove the mental health stigma.

Will you pick up the pen?

Resources:
https://www.nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/Infographics/NAMI-You-Are-Not-Alone-FINAL.pdf
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health/art-20046477
https://www.mentalhealth.gov/basics/mental-health-myths-facts
https://www.mentalhealth.gov/basics/what-is-mental-health #:~:text=Mental%20health%20includes%20our%20emotional,childhood%20and%20adolescence%20through%20adulthood.

07/02/2020

Hope. Who knew that such a small, four-letter word could be packed with so much power and promise? One can say there is much to be hoped for during this time of many uncertainties. As a mother of three young children, a graduate student in her final year of school, and a citizen of a nation at unrest, my hope levels have been on a classic wooden roller coaster ride. Though hope may drop faster than it took to build up, the fact remains that it’s still on the track. Hope never left.

But, hope has to be more than just positive thinking to remain a constant fixture in our lives. Worthington states that “hope is a motivation to persevere toward a goal or end state, even if we’re skeptical that a positive outcome is likely.” Hope is a “pathway to our desired outcome.” The key is to switch from the hope roller coaster of ups and downs and onto the steady path of a locomotive train. This article offers several methods to build hope, which may spark your own ideas of strengthening hope in your life. Just keep moving.

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_hope_can_keep_you_happier_and_healthier?utm_source=Greater+Good+Science+Center&utm_campaign=9edb8543c2-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_GG_Newsletter_June_18&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5ae73e326e-9edb8543c2-74475035

Hope is more than just positive thinking.

06/05/2020

Anxiety during COVID-19 is ready for its star role in keeping us safe. Anxiety will elevate any situation and increase in strength when we try to upstage it and push it aside. How do you feel when someone tells you to calm down or relax, and you are miles away from any sense of utopia? Does your blood begin to boil at the mere utterance of those words? That’s how anxiety feels when we try to push it aside; however, Dr. Eric Goodman suggests we embrace anxiety like we embrace a crying baby — with gentle kindness. This article offers methods to create that peaceful state for anxiety to rest. Anxiety is here to protect us, but can play an exaggerated role on our life’s stage — may we all learn to embrace and manage it as we return to a sense of normalcy during and after COVID-19.

https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/compassionate-guide-anxiety-during-covid-19-0

Telling oneself not to be anxious during the COVID-19 pandemic is like trying to tell water not to be wet. These are anxious times.

05/22/2020

“Coronavirus anxiety: How to cope with life after lockdown” by Amelia Butterly

For many, a loosening of Coronavirus quarantine restrictions is a welcome occurrence. For others who battle anxiety and other mental health and physical health conditions, this may bring on additional fear and uncertainty. Buttlerly writes, “one common factor we all share is the amount of change we have all gone through, in a very short space of time” (2020), and with that change comes many unknowns about what life’s “new normal” might entail. I chose this BBC article because it highlights the global phenomenon of the pandemic (not to be redundant) and bridges our bubbles in the U.S. with those overseas. As a world, we are experiencing uncertainty, change, fear, frustration, and a longing for reassurance and stability. Perhaps this is a reminder of our human condition and that regardless of culture and borders, we are all vulnerable and trying to make the best of a tragic situation. Stay well, safe, and enjoy your day wherever it may lead you.
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Coronavirus anxiety: How to cope with life after lockdown
By Amelia Butterly
BBC 100 Women
11 May 2020

As some countries ease coronavirus restrictions, mental health experts are noticing an emerging phenomenon; anxiety about life after lockdown.
Meanwhile people who remain living under the most stringent measures are fearful about what will happen when these rules are lifted.

"It is going to be uncomfortable for most of us," says Akanksha Bhatia.

The 25-year-old writer and advocate for mental health and women's rights lived with anxiety before the lockdown.
Akanksha posts on social media about living with anxiety and has been talking with her followers about how the condition impacts her life in isolation. She lives and works in Delhi but has moved back to Chennai to live with her parents while India is in lockdown.

"It's not been that easy," she says. A month into lockdown, she had a particularly bad day and cried a lot.
"All you can do is tell yourself that this will end eventually."

Life under lockdown

Like many people, Akanksha has had some struggles during lockdown. But there has also been respite from some of the things that triggered her anxiety in her life pre-coronavirus, because she's able to be at home with her parents, who help her to feel safe.

Akanksha describes herself as an introvert and says that socialising is one of the things that made her more anxious.
She feels relaxed and comfortable spending time with her family and so this has been much less of a problem in recent weeks. Now her concerns centre on how she will return to her previous life.

"Stepping out of the house, for someone with anxiety, is already something you overthink," she says. "You'll have to get used to that all over again, because you've been desensitised."

Many people are concerned about whether their leaders might be lifting lockdown too early, increasing the rate of infection. But some are also worried about returning to a more normal life.

Effects of lockdown

It won't necessarily just be people with an existing mental health condition who will be affected either.

"After you've been inside for a long time, it can feel very strange to go outside," says Nicky Lidbetter, CEO of Anxiety UK, a charity that supports people with mental health conditions.

"You perhaps lose your confidence to do things you haven't had to in a while."

She gives examples of face-to-face work meetings or using cramped public transport - situations that might have stressed or worried people even before they were concerned about the risk of infection.

"These things might have been difficult in the first place and having to return to them after having quite a sustained break might actually be very challenging," she says.

While some people have been safe in the relative comfort of their own home, others have faced difficult and upsetting situations.

From the medical workers on the front lines, to the people trying to stop their businesses from failing, for them last few weeks may have been incredibly busy and stressful.
But one common factor we all share is the amount of change we have all gone through, in a very short space of time.

"It's very stressful for people," says Dr Steven Taylor, a professor in the psychiatry department at the University of British Columbia, in Canada.

"People are trying to cope by loving being in lockdown, by creating a cocoon of safety, a haven, to make the whole experience more tolerable.

"Ironically that can create problems later on because people can love their lockdown too much and become anxious about going outside."

Dr Taylor is the author of The Psychology of Pandemic, a book published just a few weeks before coronavirus emerged in China in late 2019.

"The spreading and containment of contagion in the case of a pandemic is very much a psychological phenomenon," he says.

"It's not just some bug that's going at random around the world. It's people's behaviour that determines whether or not a virus will spread."

Early reopening

When governments come to relax lockdown rules, Dr Taylor says good leadership will be crucial to helping people feel safe and confident in the change of policy.

"To help reintegrate people into a post-pandemic world, there needs to be clear communication from leaders, [saying] 'It's OK now to hug people. It's OK to go to restaurants.'

"The guidelines need to be clear in people's minds and that can help to reduce uncertainty, which will reduce anxiety."
Some people are describing the emotions they are feeling as symptomatic of agoraphobia, but this isn't accurate.

"What people are describing as agoraphobia is similar superficially in some ways to agoraphobia, in that they're frightened of going outside," says Dr Taylor, "but the motivation is different."

Typically, people with agoraphobia will avoid certain situations, because they are frightened of having a panic attack.

"These people [anxious about life after lockdown] aren't frightened of having panic attacks, they're frightened of infection," says Dr Taylor.

How to deal with coronavirus anxiety

Whether you already live with an anxiety disorder, or have experienced anxiety for the first time due to the pandemic, there are things you can do to help you cope with lockdown and the inevitable readjustment that has to take place once restrictions are lifted.

"People find change quite difficult," says Ms Lidbetter. "It's not about expecting yourself to go from 0 to 100 in one day. Don't be hard on yourself if you're finding it difficult to get back into a routine.

"We found it difficult to get into the routine of lockdown, so it stands to reason that we'll find it difficult to get out of the routine of lockdown as well."

As we start to leave the home more, she says we should be aware that it will be a "physiological process" as well as a mental one.

"When we go outside, we have all this stimuli hitting us and it can lead to a bit of a sensory overload."
She encourages people to be "gentle and kind with themselves" throughout this time.

"If people are really struggling with anxiety and they've found this whole experience of the lockdown and the pandemic has really heightened their anxiety, then there is help.

"People should go to their doctor and not struggle alone."
She also advises people to talk to a trusted friend or family member about their worries, if they can.

Dr Taylor says the anxiety many people feel now will pass.
"The good news is people are resilient," he says. "I expect that most of the people who are anxious right now will recover in the weeks, perhaps months, after lockdown restrictions have been lifted.

"That said, some people will have lingering psychological problems."

Akanksha has already started thinking about how she will cope when lockdown in India lifts.

"Though there are a lot of people looking forward to it, I don't understand those people," she says.

Akanksha's going to do some of the things that experts say are good for our mental health, like eating well and doing regular exercise.

"Keep it as simple as you can," she adds, "and don't overwhelm yourself with anything new suddenly. I won't be going crazy with parties every day."

But she will continue with a hobby that she started during lockdown, to maintain her routine as the world around her changes yet again, and give her an ongoing sense of achievement.

"I'm learning Korean right now," she says. "I want to watch my K-dramas without subtitles."

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-52443108

Mental health experts see a new phenomenon - anxiety about going back to a routine after lockdown.

05/16/2020

“Therapist Esther Perel Shares Relationship Advice For Quarantined Couples” a wbur podcast
adapted for the web by Serena McMahon
aired May 7, 2020

My bias during quarantine has revolved around my children. I recognize that I have paid less attention to the relationship with my spouse and how life in quarantine may be affecting it. I liked this perspective because Perel addresses the existential quality of what is going on in the world and the inherent power within this force to both push us together and pull us apart. As a romantic, I generally have hope for couples, so I hope this finds you and your significant other(s) doing well, weathering the storm, gaining strength, wisdom, courage, and remembering to laugh. For anyone facing enduring problems during this challenge, I hope this article may offer guidance and support. Know that there are professionals who can assist you with your relationship and with quarantine life. Stay well and safe.
_______________________________________________________________
“Therapist Esther Perel Shares Relationship Advice For Quarantined Couples” a wbur podcast
adapted for the web by Serena McMahon
aired May 6, 2020

Psychologists talk about the stresses of isolating alone during the coronavirus pandemic. But the pressures of quarantine can also take a toll on couples who live together or apart.

When partners are in lockdown, everything becomes intensified, says "Couples Under Lockdown" podcaster, author and therapist Esther Perel.

“In the midst of crisis, couples will often go to periods of destruction and then a repair,” Perel says. “And this reconnection demands trust [and being] vulnerable to what the other person is inviting rather than defending yourself, expecting the worst.”

Couples who find strength during crises or confinement are able to talk openly with their partners and even when it’s hard, continuously say, “I’m so appreciative that I’m going through this with you,” she says.
Since many can’t just walk out the door or find a distraction from conflict, it’s normal for a couple’s vibe to be off during this time.

“A couple has a rhythm that means that you leave, you go to work, you go to see friends,” she says. “This is what is missing at this moment.”

For those that might find it difficult to constantly be in the presence of their significant other, or find themselves feeling annoyed, Perel says kindness “will go a long way.”
Trying times tend to make us dwell on the negatives, but she says to be kind and open yourself up to what you can appreciate in your partner “rather than going around with a flashlight for the wrong, for the missing, for the criticisms.”
If you find yourself leaning into an argument, try this: “When you want something, ask for it rather than making a critique about what the other person hasn't done. Make a request rather than a protest,” she says.

And if you can, keep to one topic during a disagreement, she says, because it’s easy to start piling it on in the heat of the moment.

“This constant negotiation, which is very much normal and in the nature of the beast, also creates enormous empathic distress — moments of complete fragmentation where people, instead of turning toward each other, are turning against each other,” she says.

If anything, let the body speak when addressing disputes, she says. Because of social distancing, humans are craving human touch and affection, and a physical reassurance can “ground us,” she says. Allow yourself to celebrate, experience pleasure and engage sexually.

“You know, we are still alive,” she says. “Those of us who are closing ourselves off of any of the things that actually will ground us [and] will make us feel safe is actually a disadvantage rather than a resource.”

“We are living with a sense of mortality that is hovering over us, not just in terms of the physical lives, but the loss of the world that we have known. And when you feel that life is short, you kind of see, what am I waiting for? It throws the superfluous overboard and you say, ‘Let's have babies, let's be together, let's get married.’ Or you say, ‘Life is short. I've been waiting long enough.’ And then you say, ‘Open the door and let me out of here.’ We've always said: more divorces, more babies in pandemics and in disaster periods. And this is one of those.”

On a couple in New York City who filed for divorce right before the pandemic hit. The husband wants to see his girlfriend, but the wife is concerned about their children’s health

“I assumed the man is a smart man who knows what is right. So I said to him, if you could, you would want to see her. That's a given. I get that this is about duty rather than desire. And I respect that. That's what I say in a nutshell. … I mean, the wife tells him, ‘You're a jerk.’ I'm not there to say that. What I know is that he understands that he has three daughters at home. And in this moment, it is probably wise to be there with them. But I can give him both so that he doesn't have to counter me by keeping the other side secret. I've made it explicit. We know that if you could, this is where you would be. And we know that you've decided to act differently.”

On a couple she counsels in Germany who lived apart for work for the last year but are now suddenly forced to live together because of the coronavirus

“So that a couple is under lockdown. I am literally, through Zoom, entering their homes, their closets. ... They literally had to be in a closet in order to have some space away from their three young children. And it has a level of intimacy and revelation. This couple, he is feeling abandoned that she went to Germany for this dream job and she [is] feeling abandoned that he didn't follow. And lo and behold, it's the virus that makes the decisions for them. He appeared at her house in Germany. And in fact, they are really getting along a lot better. But when you have hurt someone, you want to be forgiven. But there's a part of you that doesn't know if you deserve it. And so you enter into a disposition that says, you know, 'Reassure me, but I don't believe you. But make me believe you because I really want to.' And when he says to her, 'I wanted to cook for you.' And he's actually saying, 'I care. I want to be with you.' She hears him say to her, 'What you did was wrong.' And that's the adjustment that needs to be made in that moment is listen to what is being said rather than listen for the confirmation of your assumption.”

On her advice to an arguing couple in Sicily — the husband takes care of their children while the wife fulfills her duty as a nurse treating COVID-19 patients

“Let me put it this way. Sometimes when couples come to my office, I learned this from my dear colleague Hedy Schleifer, I ask people to bring pictures of their children. And then I just say, here are your kids. They're watching you. Everything you're doing to each other is what they are learning. This idea that you have a responsibility beyond yourself about this is very humbling to people because when you fight, you often feel deserving. You feel entitled. You feel justified. You're not humble necessarily. So the presence of your children who are watching you humbles you.

“There's a concept called invisible divorce from Megan Fleming, and this couple in a way was living with that. They were separated, disconnected inside their own families. COVID-19 changes the balance of interdependence between them. They're in a small flat in Sicily. It's in the middle of the epicenter of that moment, and death is hovering all around. And you then begin to deal with the symbolic deaths that have taken place in your relationship. And now you have to decide, is it just going to disappear or are we going to fight to reconnect with each other? Because it is that connection, that sense of aliveness, that erotic force that is going to be the antidote to death.”

Karyn Miller-Medzon produced and edited this interview for broadcast with Tinku Ray. Serena McMahon adapted it for the web.

This segment aired on May 7, 2020.

https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2020/05/07/therapist-esther-perel-podcast

Therapist Esther Perel shares tips for avoiding the pitfalls of quarantined relationships.

05/09/2020

“The Perspective Less Taken During Quarantine: 10 Tips to Raise Your Spirits” by Bryan Robinson

I believe it can be easy to scoff at silver linings during a time like the Covid-19 pandemic; however, doing this every day and leading a cynical, joyless life can lead to deeper issues. What I like about Bryan Robinson’s article is that he does not just say look at the liquid in the glass, he recognizes what initiates negative thinking and emphasizes the importance of not “ruminating” (2020) in it. He also stresses that looking for the positive takes practice, being mindful of your mindset and your perspective. It doesn’t mean that you won’t feel disappointment, rejection, pain, which are part of being human, but that once you have worked through these emotions find ways to move beyond them. If you feel stuck in such emotions, seek help, as no one has to remain in one headspace forever. There is much value in trusted alternative perspectives, with these tools, you may even find one within yourself.
_____________________________________________________________

The Perspective Less Taken During Quarantine: 10 Tips to Raise Your Spirits
by Bryan Robinson
April 1, 2020

In the era of COVID-19 when many of us are quarantined and things are uncertain and feel out of control, it’s natural for stress levels to rise. We’re hardwired for anxiety to keep us safe when faced with uncertainty. Anxiety is our friend, our protector, warning us of potential danger—all for our own good. The key is to make anxiety work for us instead of against us in unpredictable times. It helps to know what we can change or control and what we can’t.

Your perspective is your most valuable power tool during challenging times.

Your greatest power is your perspective. It can victimize you or empower you. When you look for the upside in a downside situation and figure out what you can control and what you can't, it’s easier to accept whatever is beyond your control. Your best ally is to find the opportunity in the difficulty during an uncontrollable situation instead of the difficulty in the opportunity.

Your Negativity Bias

Mother Nature equipped us with a negativity bias to keep us out of harm’s way. This bias causes us to overestimate threats and underestimate our ability to handle them. Naturally, when we know an invisible disease is spreading around us with unclear consequences, our anxiety will go up. The key is to appreciate our anxiety’s intent and use it without letting it use us or letting it throw our rational brain offline, which it will do at lightning speed so we can act quickly in an emergency.

Chances are during social isolation, your negativity bias will zoom in on the COVID-19 threat causing you to focus on the problem, gloom and doom and shake in your boots, eclipsing your personal power and the blessings and positive aspects in your life. The more you focus on a negative situation or sensation—such as pain, fear, or frustrating obstacles—the worse it nibbles away at you. When the mind is focused on lack or ruminates on fear, we operate from a position of loss and discontent and experience more lack.

Pessimism is a perspective that can sneak up on any of us at any time. If you’re like most people, you’ve had knee-jerk reactions that you were unaware of in the moment like my colleague Sophie who loved the warm, long days of summer. One day in June on the longest day of the year, I stuck my head in her office door and said, “You must be on cloud nine.”

She looked up from her computer, raised a curious eyebrow. “Why?” “It’s the longest, sunny day of the year.”

She frowned. “Not really, I’m down in the dumps. Tomorrow the days start getting shorter again.”

“But this is the day you’ve been waiting for,” I replied, “Your perspective is shrinking your joy.”

Her eyes widened, and her frown spread into a smile, surprised that negativity had hijacked her. In that ah-ha moment, she realized her pessimistic outlook had occluded her happiness.

Science Reveals the Secret Mojo

If you’re a card-carrying pessimist, chances are during these extraordinary times you’re having more difficulty seeing the upside of this downside situation. If so, you can ask if you’re freely choosing your perspective? Or are you a prisoner of the circumstances? We can’t always change what happens to us, but we can always change our perspective.

Scientists have gotten in on the act to discover the secret mojo. Their findings? The way you think about your circumstances makes all the difference in your mood, health, and success—even longevity. When you ruminate and over-focus on the difficulty, what goes wrong, who hurt you or how disappointed you are, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the upside of a downside situation where your power lies and what you can control in the situation, you can find peace of mind. This way of thinking moves you from a victim at the mercy of an external force to an empowered person.

One way to own your power is to perform acts of kindness for someone. Recently, I pulled into a Starbucks drive-thru and ordered my regular double-shot latte. When I handed the cashier my credit card, she said, “The person in front of you paid for your order.” I felt a boost of exhilaration and immediately said, “Then I’d like to pay for the person’s order behind me.” It had been a gloomy day with all the worry about COVID-19, but those kind acts boosted my mood for hours after. You, too, can experience what scientists call “the helper’s high,” which boosts your mood simply by doing something good for someone else in these challenging times.

Optimism is some of the best medicines to thrive during COVID-19 quarantine, no matter how dire the circumstances. You don’t possess some magical joy juice. And you don’t have to become a smiley-face romantic with your head in the sand or look through rose-colored glasses. Optimists are realists who take positive steps to cope with obstacles instead of succumbing to them. Although researchers have found that being optimistic is associated with more gray matter in regions of your prefrontal cortex, you don’t have to be a natural-born optimist. You can cultivate a positive outlook. With practice, you realize you have a choice on how to view the slings and arrows life delivers, simply by choosing your outlook.

“Our greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”—William James

Optimism literally expands your peripheral vision and lets you see more possibilities and solutions to problems than pessimism, which limits our outlook. Optimism unlocks our personal resources and capabilities to deal with an opportunity embedded in a hardship. Studies show that if you’re an optimist, you’re more likely to scoot up the career success ladder faster and farther than a pessimist. One study showed that sales personnel with an optimistic outlook sold 37 % more life insurance in their first two years than pessimists. Other studies show that you adopt healthier habits, too. Statistics reveal that, if you’re an optimist, you have a lower stress level and a more stable cardiovascular system than average, and you have a stronger immune system. You’re happier, have fewer health complaints, healthier relationships and live an average of seven and a half years longer than average.

10 Ways To Stack The Cards In Your Favor

Like the zoom lens of a camera, Mother Nature baked in the negativity bias to zero in and target a threat. Your heart races, eyes dilate and breathing escalates to enable you to fight or flee. As your brain zooms in, you make life-or-death judgments that constrict your ability to see possibilities. Your focus is narrow like the zoom lens of a camera, clouding out the big picture. And it has to be this way to save you in an emergency. But over time when these maneuvers become a daily routine, you build blind spots of negativity without realizing it.

Once you realize you have a choice of how to perceive and respond to a challenge and that optimism is always present—even under the direst pressures—you can start to focus your mind more on the possible, big- picture aspects of situations and build on them. In other words, you expand your lizard brain’s constrictive “zoom lens” into a “wide-angle lens,” creating a perspective that broadens your range of vision. Scientists call this tool, “broaden-and-build,” which allows you to see more possibilities, options and choices and take in more information to free you from your mind’s constriction.

If you’re like many people in uncertain times, you automatically focus on the survival aspects of your life that arouse fear and equip you to rise to the occasion in a heartbeat. You build your negativity deck without recognizing it, and that becomes your lens for most situations. Your negativity bias can squeeze the life out of you and diminish your verve for life. It can restrain you from taking on new challenges, forming new relationships or deepening intimacy with old ones. But when you reshuffle your negativity deck and stack it with positivity, you have the cumulative benefit of unlocking a range of options. It’s essential to be intentional about shifting your negativity bias, make an effort to look for and experience positive emotions and savor them much like you would an ice cream cone. Here are 10 actions to stir your optimistic juices, stack the cards in your favor and embrace the perspective less taken: ptions. It’s essential to be intentional about shifting your negativity bias, make an effort to look for and experience positive emotions and savor them much like you would an ice cream cone. Here are 10 actions to stir your optimistic juices, stack the cards in your favor and embrace the perspective less taken:

1. Broaden your scope. Focus on the solution, not the problem. Step back from today’s challenge, look at the big picture, and brainstorm a wide range of options instead of over-focusing on the difficulty. Every time you’re feeling pessimistic or hopeless, put on your wide-angle lens, pull up the big picture and see the situation in a broad context instead of from the narrow lens that clouds out possibilities.

2. Dwell on your personal resources. Dwell on positive aspects of your life where you can make a difference. Consider the personal resources at your fingertips to overcome obstacles, instead of the limitations: staying healthy, getting ample sleep, exercising, meditating, eating well and establishing strong social supports. Remind yourself how they provide an opportunity for you to learn more about your strengths and positive qualities and put them into practice. When was the last time you soaked in a hot bath, contemplated in nature or meditated? Make a 15-minute appointment with yourself and schedule personal time so you have more to give and receive. Then, reach out to others who need you over social media, stay in touch with loved ones, and volunteer to help when and where you can.

3. Learn how resilient you really are. Turning defeat into a well-learned lesson builds you up instead of tearing you down. Be curious about what you can learn about yourself from social distancing and use it as stepping-stones instead of roadblocks. Ask yourself: “How can I make this situation work to my advantage?” or “Can I find something positive in this crisis?” or “What can I manage or overcome in this instance?”

4. Be Chancy. You’re likely to be more resilient if you stick your neck out than if you settle into cozy ruts and routines. Try new things, be creative and develop a new hobby or skill. Ask yourself what you can add or change to spice up your life. Take small risks in new situations instead of letting survival fears predict negative outcomes.

5. Engage your “tallcomings,” self-compassion, and positive self- talk. Underscore your triumphs and high-five your “tallcomings” instead of bludgeoning yourself with your “shortcomings.” Make it a habit to throw modesty out the window and name as many of your accomplishments as you can—what you’re good at, the skills and talents you possess and what you’ve achieved that your negativity bias constantly overshadows. Affirm positive feedback instead of letting it roll off. Give yourself pep talks and refrain from attacking yourself or from making negative self-judgments when you stumble. Give yourself a fist pump every time you reach a milestone or important accomplishment. Tell yourself how awesome you are: “I knew I could do it!”
“A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, but it is miles ahead in results.”—Ella Wheeler Wilcox

6. Avoid blowing situations out of proportion. Don’t let one negative experience rule your whole outlook. “I didn’t get the promotion; now I’ll never reach my career goals” becomes “I didn’t get the promotion, but there are many other steps I can take to reach my career goals.” Nothing is permanent, nothing lasts forever and every situation can be changed for the better.

7. Underscore the upside of a downside situation. Your negativity bias causes you to see the difficulty in an opportunity, but you can outfox it
and start finding the opportunity in the difficulty—gains in your losses and beginnings in your endings. “I had to pay more taxes this year than ever” becomes “I made more money this year than I’ve ever made.” Instead of letting pleasantness slip by, you can highlight the way the breeze feels on your skin, savor the frozen yogurt on your tongue or linger over the fragrance of a flower. When you take time to appreciate the smallest things around you, it grows positive feelings and creates pleasing sensations such as slowed heart rate and loosened muscles.

8. Pay attention to the upbeat news wrapped around` downbeat news. “Many people are going to catch COVID-19” becomes “Many people will contract the virus, and many people will get better, too.” This perspective allows you to discover gifts in adversity and how a seismic event can change your life for the better, especially when you ask what you can do in your own corner of the world to help. You can re-frame gloomy prospects in a positive way. Few situations are one hundred percent bad. If the weather forecast is fifty percent chance of rain, remind yourself there’s a fifty percent chance it won’t rain.

9. Choose your state of mind. Pay attention to the attitude you bring to these uncertain times and keep it in check. Refuse to let your negativity bias decide your perspective—regardless of how dire the circumstances. Every time you get caught in the difficulty of the moment, take a breath and step back from the situation. Before you react, give your lizard brain time to settle down from flooding you and your rational brain to come back online once your reaction settles.

10. Develop an attitude of gratitude This is a time to count your blessings—all the things you might have overlooked, forgotten or taken for granted. The gratitude exercise helps you see the flip side of the narrow scope that your mind builds without your knowledge. Make a list of the many things you’re grateful for—the people, places and things that make your life rich and full, that bring you comfort and joy. After you’ve made your list, meditate on your appreciation for each item and visualize anything you’ve taken for granted—things or people even pets that if you didn’t have would leave your life empty and meaningless. Seize your blessings, hold them close to your heart and don’t let fear or worry distract you from the big picture and the treasured aspects of your life.

“Life is a song, sing it; life is a struggle, accept it; life is a tragedy, confront it; life is an adventure, dare it.”—Mother Teresa

Follow me on Twitter. Check out my website. Bryan Robinson

I am the author of two novels and 40 nonfiction books, including : TURN OFF YOUR JOB AND TURN ON YOUR LIFE (William Morrow) and the long-selling CHAINED TO THE DESK: A GUIDEBOOK FOR WORKAHOLICS, THEIR PARTNERS AND CHILDREN, AND THE CLINICIANS WHO TREAT THEM (New York University Press). My books have been translated into fteen languages. I am Professor Emeritus at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, where I conducted the rst studies on children of workaholics and the effects of workaholism on marriage. I built my career on the themes of resilience and work/life balance and have lectured throughout the world on work addiction and workplace issues. My research was featured on 20/20, Good Morning America, ABC’s World News Tonight, NBC Nightly News, NBC Universal, The CBS Early Show, CNBC’s The Big Idea and NPR's Marketplace. I hosted the PBS documentary, Overdoing It: How to Slow Down and Take Care of Yourself. I maintain a private psychotherapy practice in Asheville, NC and reside in the Blue Ridge Mountains with my spouse, three dogs, one cat, several tropical birds, and occasional bears at night.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/bryanrobinson/2020/04/01/the-perspective-less-taken-during-quarantine-10-tips-to-raise-your-spirits/

In these extraordinary times, we have the power to choose how we deal with challenges such as quarantine. One of our best power tools is to put on a wide-angle lens and stack our positivity deck.