05/15/2025
So… I did a thing. I ate an elephant.
I was just conferred, this past weekend, with a Masters of Public Service from the Clinton School of Public Service - MPS!!! I was supported and surrounded by family and friends (many of which, I am sure, were just as shocked as me that I made it through the intense & demanding program). I graduated with a 4.0… and worked full time - but actually work helped me more than hurt me… and were my constant antidepressants.
Saturday, I think I travelled a little out of my body: during the ceremony, I remember seeing my name printed in the program, I heard my name called, and felt the graduate colors placed across my shoulders… but it still feels like a fever dream.
What doesn’t feel like a dream is more of a “who,” the people I have met here in Little Rock. I have been able to spend time, finding a new life - finding a smile I never thought I would feel come across my face again - serving and researching mental health issues facing children and families in Arkansas. To be honest, I do not know how I got my brain to work or how I managed the course load. But, as one of my best friends said just two and a half years ago when I moved into my very old 152 year old home… and was unpacking myself into a new life, “the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time…”
I ate an elephant.
I have been asked what comes next. Here. Here is home now. I have begun my PhD and my Masters of Legal Studies. Two degrees that I hope will help me advocate better for wrap around mental healthcare for K-12 students that grows into a reduction of stigma.
Over the last several years, I have missed him more than words. I am crushed that he is now missing the good things. He is missing not just my graduation, but my beginning of my PhD studies, my research… He missed me shooting for & missing a dream job - but at least I got a second interview. I feel him looking over my shoulder, at times (though he certainly doesn’t help with any spelling) and I know the signs when he is around… little white feathers, the presence of the number 108… a song… a million other little things that only we knew.
You too can do hard things.