Dr Kathy Nickerson

07/26/2025

This is a great suggestion for those of you who are working to heal from an affair and frequently get triggered. The number one thing that helps us heal from infidelity is to get reassurance from the straying partner. So please do not be afraid to ask for this! If your partner gets a little bit defensive when you ask for it, tell them that reassurance in these critical moments rebuilds trust and helps you heal so much faster. I hope this helps you, keep me posted! 

07/26/2025

All relationships hit rough patches, some much worse than others. We need to notice when our relationship or marriage is not doing well and when we feel disconnected, then we need to do something to intentionally reconnect. Here are five ideas to help you reconnect with your partner. Please give one of these a try and let me know if this relationship advice helped you! 

07/25/2025

Every time I go to get my mammogram now, I'm a little bit scared. I worry that they will find cancer again. But this year I'm a little less scared because I took the Grail Galleri test. If you haven't heard of this test, I definitely recommend you check it out. It screens for 50 different kinds of active cancer. I took the test earlier this year and it showed no signs of active cancer, so theoretically, nothing should be found today! It's still important to do your screenings, but the test gave me a lot of peace of mind. Hope this helps you too.

07/25/2025

Three years ago I went for my first ever mammogram and they found a suspicious spot. That suspicious spot turned out to be stage one breast cancer. I am so grateful for the screening that I had and for finding the lump so early. Because we did, I was able to have surgery, chemo, and radiation and completely knockout the cancer. Now I'm on the other side and I'm doing great and I want you to know that you don't have to be as scared of cancer as you might be. If we can find it early, we can treat it and the survivability goes way up. Please get your cancer screenings scheduled, the world needs you in it!

07/25/2025

Less than 2% of affairs turn into long lasting relationships. And while many of us can cite an example or two of someone that has married their AP, the research data shows us it's rare. It's even rare for it to be a successful happy marriage, even the people who do stay together often regret it. It's because affairs and affair relationships are steeped in dishonesty. It's hard to create a long lasting foundation when you're not seeing the whole truth and the whole person. I've said it before and I will say it again - affairs are always the wrong answer to the problem, would not recommend! 

07/25/2025

Affairs are about escape, fantasy, delusion… They're not about love. Most people who cheat are looking for an escape from reality. They're looking for anyone who will help them relieve the emotional pain they're in. And you would think they would look for this relief from their primary partner, but actually, they are looking to feel like a completely different person and that can't happen with their primary partner. So let me reassure you very very few affairs are about love and most infidelity is about coping with unhealed pain. What do you think about this? 

07/23/2025

Tomorrow we will meet to discuss intrusive thoughts after infidelity and affairs. If you would like to join us, we would love to have you. Our meeting is on Zoom and I'm going to give away 1 free spot. If you would like to enter the giveaway, just make a comment on this video. If you would like to guarantee your spot, you can grab a ticket by clicking the URL on my profile page and then selecting the support group option. You want to register for the one that says book club with Coach Courtney. Hope to see you tomorrow!

07/23/2025

After an affair, it's very common to worry about whether your partner is going to have another affair and how, or if, he would be able to tell. So many of us are blindsided by the affair and we're deeply afraid that another one could happen at any time. Here are two techniques to try to help you cope with that fear and work your way through it. I hope these help you!

07/23/2025

After the affair, you are allowed to feel anger, you are allowed to feel rage. Please don't tell yourself that you're not allowed to feel anything. Feelings show us things, they often show us where we need to heal. When someone has deeply hurt you, it's very appropriate to feel anger. It would be very surprising if you did not feel intense anger and rage after betrayal. Allow those feelings to come in, flow through you, and flow out. Hope this helps as you heal from infidelity. Big hugs.

07/23/2025

Do most couples break up after an affair? Surprisingly... no! 5 different clinical studies have found that between 60-75% of couples stay together post infidelity. You might think this is because people have kids, few choices, or are financially dependent... but the actual reason why is that they love their partner and want to heal together. I think we should support everyone doing what is right for them after an affair. What do you think?

07/23/2025

If you are struggling with intrusive thoughts after your partner's affair, infidelity, or betrayal, here's a technique that will help you. I'd also love for you to join us at our next support group meeting focused on intrusive thoughts. We have one every Thursday, we call them book clubs And we would love to have you join us. You can register by clicking on the URL in my bio and then selecting support groups. Hope this helps you on your healing journey from betrayal trauma!

07/21/2025

It doesn't have to! If you are struggling in your healing journey, please try different kinds of therapies to get relief. I frequently recommend trauma therapy, especially EMDR and somatic experiencing. We have so many ways to help you, please do not sit there and suffer in silence. 

Settles deep in your bones.

… If you’ve been through betrayal, this book was written for you.

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘
This book isn’t polite. It isn’t soft. It’s real.

It names betrayal for what it is—and gives you back your clarity, your anger, your power.

📕 Navigating Infidelity – https://amzn.to/3HBjXfb
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤.
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