12/31/2025
I want to share about me and my jouney, thoughtfully and with care, as I came across this post.
This season of healing has helped me understand something important about my own body. Even in spaces where I believed I had found a “healthier” church — and with people I genuinely love and respect — my nervous system was still overwhelmed.
I was often praised for forgiveness, strength, and perseverance. I truly believed that was healing, because that’s what I had been taught a good Christian does. So I dismissed what my body was telling me.
The nausea, shakiness, and constant nervous system overload weren’t about anyone doing something “wrong.” Also I had a bad case of shingles that caused me to really stop and be curious what was happening. They were signs that my body had learned to survive inside a system that didn’t always know how to make space for grief, anger, or deep emotional processing — even when the intentions were loving.
I want to be clear: this isn’t about blaming people or questioning their hearts. Many leaders and communities are doing the best they know how, just as I once did.
For me, healing has begun by me listening to my body and slowing down and learning safety and gentleness are not a lack of faith - they are a form of wisdom.
The kingdom of God is within each of us.
I am sharing this simply to help you know me better and to explain part of my journey, not to hurt or persuade anyone.
Religious Trauma Isn’t “All in Your Head.” It’s in Your Nervous System.
Religious trauma is what happens when faith, authority, or “God’s voice” becomes fused with fear, control, shame, or threat. Over time, your body learns that spiritual spaces are not safe.
That’s where the vagus nerve comes in.
The vagus nerve is the main communication highway between your brain and your body. It regulates safety, threat, connection, and survival. When religious environments repeatedly activate fear, punishment, silence, or spiritual abuse, the vagus nerve adapts. Your body stays on high alert or shuts down, even years after you’ve left.
That’s why:
Worship music can trigger panic
Scripture can cause dissociation
Church buildings can make your chest tighten
Authority figures can activate fight, flight, freeze, or fawn
This isn’t rebellion.
It isn’t bitterness.
It isn’t “losing your faith.”
It’s a trauma-conditioned nervous system responding exactly the way it was trained to survive.
Religious trauma is not just a theological issue.
It’s a neurological and embodied injury.
Healing doesn’t start with “trying harder to trust God.”
It starts with safety, consent, regulation, and restoring agency to the body.
Your nervous system isn’t broken.
It learned what it had to learn.
And it can heal.
