03/10/2026
✨ A boundary lesson I finally have nailed down in my mid-40’s✨
Good morning!
At 45, I’m finally learning that politeness has gotten me into more exhausting situations than honesty ever has.
One of the things I’m working on this year is being more intentional about the people I connect with.
At this stage of life, I really want friendships with people who are in a similar phase — people who enjoy some of the same things I do: going for long walks or hikes, beach days, attending spiritual or wellness events, grabbing a coffee or kava, meaningful conversation, and just living a grounded life.
So lately I’ve actually been posting on local social apps to meet new people.
And honestly? I think we should normalize that.
Making new friends as an adult isn’t always easy, and there’s nothing wrong with putting yourself out there.
But something happened yesterday that reminded me why listening to your instincts matters.
I had a phone conversation with someone I’d never met before.
Within about 10 minutes I heard about:
• multiple marriages
• a jealous former best friend
• expensive vacations
• how generous she is to people
• how she’s basically a legend where she goes boating, scuba diving, etc, etc
…and she did about 95% of the talking.
A few years ago I probably would have smiled, nodded, and agreed to meet up for a walk or coffee just to be polite.
But this time my internal alarm went off.
🚩 Slow down.
Not because she’s a bad person.
Just because the energy didn’t feel like a match for me.
One thing midlife has taught me is this:
✨ My energy is more valuable than my desire to be polite.
And honestly, this is something I think about a lot in the work I do around wellness and personal alignment. When people start regulating their nervous systems and paying attention to how interactions actually feel in their bodies, they start making very different decisions about relationships.
When I was younger, I ignored that little voice because I didn’t want to seem rude.
Now I realize that voice is usually just my intuition saying:
“Pay attention.”
Boundaries don’t always have to be dramatic.
Sometimes they’re simply noticing when a dynamic feels rushed, one-sided, or draining… and giving yourself permission to step back.
Not rejection.
Just alignment.
And honestly, I think a lot of us start learning this lesson somewhere in our 40s.
So I’m curious…
Have you ever put yourself out there to meet new people and realized pretty quickly the connection just wasn’t the right fit?